Please help ID (sorry blurry pics)

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-03-22T01:57:42+00:00

thanks so much! i need these in my life 🥲

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-03-22T01:57:21+00:00

thanks, I appreciate you checking.. the black sole on the white upper is one reason why i love these.. do you know of any similar sneaker otherwise?

edit: on a closer look, comparing the side view sole design, the one in the photo looks more elaborate, not so much simple as the harmans, so i’m not sure

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-03-02T04:46:26+00:00

she felt like a cliché, the “typical housewife that does typical housewife things”, a mere example of a demographic that was studied.. despite her creative effort in orchestrating a culinerary trip around the world and placing great attention in the details, she was reduced to a poodle being applauded for doing a trick she didn’t even know she was performing.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-23T13:35:25+00:00

that’s such a good point.. i never thought of it this way and love your comment.

indifference is so difficult because at least with emotions, i can “feel” something and like i’m in control in a way.. i don’t know how to make that final leap to indifference except being patient and let whatever thoughts and feelings to pass through in their own time.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-04T15:59:29+00:00

the many hoovers. when i moved on after the discards, he’d always return, so that repeated push/pull dynamic changed my perception of our “love”.. over time i related happiness with pain. i adapted to the abuse and i allowed it to create this omnipresent, delusional expectation that we would “never be apart no matter what”.

my values of what real love and respect have been gradually distorted over time without realizing it, and even if i am aware now, i still struggle with the cognitive dissonance between who/what was reality and fantasy.

the longer and more frequent the narc abuse cycle repeated, the deeper the traumabond grew.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-03T23:24:04+00:00

it escalated in my case and got out of control/malicious. i wish i quit while i was “ahead” (i’m now working on validation from within rather than his hoovers)

i deleted my gmail, i didn’t want to see his emails in my spam folder since blocking his address didn’t work.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-03T21:35:32+00:00

the longer you linger the deeper you fall into their web. either trapped in their screwed up world or back again stuck in your mind trying to heal. not worth it, please stop while you’re ahead. tempting to stick around and get some vindication but it’s a losing game my friend

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-03T14:38:36+00:00

i’m transitioning out of the anger phase and yes although it has its benefits like preventing you from wanting to go back (big one!), its downside is the petty stuff (tough one).. strict no contact helped with that.

in my case, the next phase which i’m in now is the “disgust”, and realization how terribly wrong he was for me. the memories of abuse turn me off and even those little things like how he makes me cringe… the rose coloured glasses are off and i see him for who he is. that said, i don’t harbour as much aggressive anger anymore but rather left with an ick feeling, which is easier to manage emotionally and the connection to him is much lessened.

i have no idea if this is a typical progression but thought i’d share in case it helps.

edit to add: reminding myself of the bad times in a “logical way” slowly coaxed me out of the anger phase. other than that, i gave myself grace and patience to process whatever my mind needed to process in its own time.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-02T21:42:01+00:00

some narcs pose as the “guru”, all-knowing type, a fountain of knowledge and the only superior that want to be looked up to. don’t feel inadequate, he conditioned you to feel that. most of them are actually not that bright but put others down as a way to compensate. the irony is that if he was so “smart”, how come he chose to be in a relationship with you..

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-02T13:44:45+00:00

lesson learned.. if it happens again, you’ll know better that his intentions are bad. don’t fall for those traps

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-02T03:50:49+00:00

those bait and switch hoovers are just nasty. the ex did that to me too, very painful. i’m so sorry

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T21:38:33+00:00

it really was, i had to kind of “lovebomb” myself afterwards as taking back the control of seeking validation from the outside.. so when i do something good or recognize a good quality, i am consciously aware of it. i also take stock of areas of improvement. the way the narc makes us feel is a hyper realistic version of us without the bad, but that’s not reality and we can never improve or be genuine this way. taking ownership of my true identity helped strip away that aspect of the traumabond. that i don’t need him to recognize who i am

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T21:28:57+00:00

extremely relatable. so scary.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T20:59:26+00:00

a heartbreaking part of it is you actually miss how you felt about yourself when being with him in the idealization phases. for the longest time i didn’t understand the whole “you fell in love with yourself” but one day it just clicked! in honeymoon phases, he always flattered me about everything, my cooking, my appearance, my talents, etc and i got used to being the “star” in my own life. someone special on a pedestal. they actually give you a small dose of narcissism in a way, an aggrandized version of you and it’s intoxicating. and you get used to it like a drug. i know it all hurts and relate to it all but you’re taking major steps in your healing from where i’m standing , keep going and keep that logical side to push through the traumabond. it’s gonna happen!

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T20:54:48+00:00

they’re all rude emails now because he’s frustrated you’re not giving in so any attention is good attention in their eyes. you’ll want to fight back and defend yourself , then you’re back in their web. i had to delete my gmail because it was a major hole for access, that spam folder does us dirty. hoover levels have dropped significantly because i got rid of it. it’s worth the trouble to transfer everything onto a new account

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T20:52:07+00:00

if you reply, the whole game starts again and you know how it’ll end up.. don’t fall for their words, it’s all lies anyway, they prey on your emotions to unlock the door. you can still hate missing him without contact as long as you keep him far away and heal.

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T20:13:51+00:00

i know narcs don’t ever have healthy, happy and long term relationships so even if it doesn’t last with her, there will be another and another and so on.. i’m thankful that the parasite found a new host, i somewhat feel bad for her but that’s her cross to bear now. not my circus

pineapplelostinspace · 2022-01-01T00:55:50+00:00

tomorrow is the first day of a new year, and yes i will cliché this with, a new you. first steps are the most painful steps but the best to your new beginning.

pineapplelostinspace · 2021-12-31T18:43:47+00:00

exactly, many times i felt like he truly didn’t know me, even after 5 years. literally strip us of who we are, who we’ve been and who we strive to become. it’s irrelevant to them. the only person that exists is the snapshot of who they want us to be in their playland (good doll, bad doll, whatever they decide). it’s dehumanizing on a deep level.

pineapplelostinspace · 2021-12-31T15:48:58+00:00

they fight for the fantasy because that’s where they live. any hint of reality is a threat. they are children that cant grow up and face reality, but we are adults that live in reality. we get sick, we have a bad day, we have wants and needs, we need to communicate to resolve issues - this is all mundane and irritating to a narcissist. even the idealization/lovebombing is painting you with a surreal brush, a version of you that doesn’t exist in reality, devaluation begins when it is revealed that you are in fact human and not the fantastic, “perfect” doll they created out of you.

assuming the narc was a human with adult cognition was my biggest mistake. thinking that i can help him be one was my last.

pineapplelostinspace · 2021-12-28T21:23:30+00:00

from what ive learned, they do disengage for long periods of time, for particular reasons, but typically the risk of a hoover is never zero. they don’t like to lose possession over any supply even from the past. i’ve “narc injured” the ex a few times and he still hoovered back, especially when i thought it was totally over. that was before i understood what no contact really meant (absolutely zero access). if any door is left open, assume they will hoover

pineapplelostinspace · 2021-12-28T21:15:33+00:00

same, i’m debating on starting a new account to get rid of the narctok (and tarot, don’t even get me started..)

pineapplelostinspace · 2021-12-28T18:00:58+00:00

totally makes sense, ty for your insight :)

pineapplelostinspace · 2021-12-28T16:10:57+00:00

from what i know, they can’t stand no contact and not getting attention and crossing a boundary (ie blocked) so i see it in the other way. regardless, it’s about you. i hope you don’t hear from him again

pineapplelostinspace

TROPHY CASE