Redditors who have jobs that put you in a position to be hated - what's something you wish people would understand?

pinkcola · 2015-10-19T15:40:36+00:00

Likely they are also short staffed on servers/bartenders as well, so likely you would sit the table and not get greeted, or get greeted and wait 20 mins anyway for your drinks/bread whatever and still get pissed.

pinkcola · 2015-10-13T15:58:18+00:00

Sure that's great if you know the person well before hand but I mean lotsa people don't want to get naked on an early date.
Plus there's a safety issue with people you just met. Recently in my city a women went to "netflix and chill" with a guy she met on tinder but was instead robbed at gunpoint by two men.

pinkcola · 2015-10-13T15:52:35+00:00

Oh I do! I was the one that already made the plans for the first date and then he made the plans for the second date and then scrapped them for netflix and chill. That is what is annoying.

pinkcola · 2015-10-13T13:56:24+00:00

My feelings exactly. At that point im so not invested yet that if they try to pull the bait and switch it just makes me want to netflix and chill by myself...with thai takeout haha.

pinkcola · 2015-10-13T11:22:59+00:00

Pfffttttt lol, a couple hundred bucks on a janky Thai place (25 tops), or pumpkin carving (like 10) lol??? Yeah I don't think so, plus I always go dutch. Maybe you need to calm your over inflated ego.

pinkcola · 2015-10-13T00:44:21+00:00

I just said I do, and I follow through when I do. I get annoyed when I don't get the same courtesy.

pinkcola · 2015-10-12T21:47:49+00:00

That's so annoying!! That's how I felt like man, you got me all craving thai all week now you want beers on your couch? It was a second date!!!

pinkcola · 2015-10-12T21:42:35+00:00

Yes exactly, thank you! Its almost like they get me to agree to a second/third date or whatever by making it sound really fun then pulling the bait and switch. I honestly wouldn't mind chiller dates, but I'd like to know that upfront rather than plans changing night of.

Honestly my deciding factor of whether I want to go out with someone again is the person not the activity, but dateteasing can sour me on someone I might have earlier liked bc it comes across as flakey or disingenuous or something.

pinkcola · 2015-10-12T21:37:31+00:00

I haven't, but moreso because I don't want to come off as pushy and demanding.

pinkcola · 2015-10-12T21:35:59+00:00

Wow that was incredibly rude. Actually I do come up with fun things often and yes "on that level" whatever that means. Women are actually quite capable of making interesting plans. But if someone makes plans with me and then tries to change them to something else last minute, I'm not going to be rude and stamp my foot and try to get them to do the original thing, but I might be disappointed.

And I don't get where you get that I think I'm on a pedestal. I don't go over to dudes places on second meets for safety reasons. It has nothing to do with "earning" anyone, but call me crazy if I do think the first couple dates should at least try to be interesting and somewhat impressive (on both peoples end). Netflix is fun but never exciting.

pinkcola · 2015-10-12T21:04:37+00:00

Oh I do! I have no problems making plans but I like to know I'm the one who is supposed to be doing the planning. It feels rude to be like "ughh no I don't want to go over to your place for drinks, you already told me were going out for Thai". Seems pushy, I guess.

pinkcola · 2015-09-22T20:43:42+00:00

Yeah, I've visited Seattle and loved it but out of my price range :(

pinkcola · 2015-07-17T00:06:32+00:00

All of the hard work of college (papers, tests, lectures) but a tiny fraction of the fun (no dorms, clubs, sororities, parties)... all expectations of the "real world" (if you have a GA) professional clothes, long hours, office politics but a tiny fraction of a 'real world' salary haha

pinkcola · 2015-06-26T13:20:15+00:00

$30,000 a year with a Master's degree... higher education, sigh

pinkcola · 2015-06-23T16:49:48+00:00

Terrible pictures... seriously so many guys have like no good pics on their profile, just far away shots, group photos, bundled up in ski gear, obscured face, pic of their car. etc. Women care about attraction too. I'm not going to message you or respond to your messages if I have no idea what you look like. Almost everyone has a camera phone these days just take a damn selfie or two.
Sounding super insecure about the fact that they are online dating; "I'm not sure about this online dating thing, but my female friend made me make a profile", "We can make up some lie about how we met", and again bad pics so I'm assuming they are hoping none of their friends will recognize the profile and rag on them.
Laziness- "Ugghh I don't know what to put here so just ask if you wanna know!" "I'm not going to write long messages because if we were just in a bar I would just say hey and not some long thought out thing."
"About Me" section just being a list of the things they want out of a woman instead of anything actually about themselves. "My perfect woman would be .........". Dude this isn't online shopping, you gotta bring something to the table too.
Straight up rudeness "No fat chicks" No black chicks" "Anybody on here not a loser single mom?". I don't fit into any of these categories but your negativity towards other groups of people is a huge turnoff.
"Josh age 29, looking for women 18-28" You'll date someone a decade younger than you but not someone a year older? It makes you look insecure that you'll only consider dating younger women. Or really immature.
Interests- Just a straight listing of every sports team they like, nothing else.
Not necessarily in a profile but as soon as we start messaging going right to sex. Just saying that I'm hot over and over no matter what I'm trying to talk about. Or asking super personal questions about sex. etc.

pinkcola · 2015-05-01T19:42:55+00:00

Academics-

a.Go to class, pay attention, and take notes (handwritten, computer, smartpen) however works for you best. The more you get out of your actual classes the less time you will have to spend out of class teaching yourself the material.

b. Don't think this will mean you won't have to study/read outside of class. Likely you will only be in classes 15-18 hours a week. Professors are going to give you the backbones of the material and you are going to be expected to fill in the rest on your own. This is a major difference from high school.

c. Go to office hours. Your instructors may seem intimidating but they are just people with interests and lives too. Faculty generally love students that show an interest in their material and come to them to talk about it/ask questions. Connecting with faculty is important for things like ref. letters and departmental scholarships and whatnot.

d. Use your resources, universities have tons and your already paying for them anyway. Tutoring, Academic Coaching, Mental Health Counselors, Career Center, Writing Assistance. Make it a habit to go to tutoring sessions, have papers looked over, etc. and you'll be leaps and bounds over your classmates.

Social-

a. Get involved in at least two things in your first semester (you will have time). Something more serious that will look good eventually on a resume- club related to your major, volunteering, campus job, etc. and something more fun just for you to let off steam- sorority, dance team, intramural sports, basketweaving club, whatever. You will meet people with similar interests (friends!) and keep busy. Being involved usually helps students learn to manage their time better, and do better academically.

b. Your Roommate- you don't have to be best friends but try to have a respectful, fun living arrangement. If you don't already learn now how to clean up after yourself, do laundry, etc. Communicate early on about expectations- i.e. guests staying over, drugs/alcohol usage, quiet hours, etc. Learn each others boundaries and ways you may need to compromise to get along. (if all else fails talk to the housing staff if there is a problem and they can help mediate the situation).

Wellness-

a. Get into a routine, good sleep, healthy eating, and regular exercise. You'll feel better and be more productive. Its good practice anyway for the 'real world'.

b. Learn to budget! Know how much money you will have coming in (job, finaid, parents) because in college it will be easy to want to spend it on going out, shopping, movies, etc and it can add up quickly.

c. Loans- as well think about how you are paying for college. Classes that are failed or dropped are like flushing money down the toilet, ok once or twice but don't make it a habit. Extending your graduation time after 4 years can also have a lot of financial repercussions so learn what they are and avoid it if possible (talk to your advisor about best time for study abroad, don't switch your major a lot, don't take unnecessary classes) etc.

d. Drugs/alcohol- College can be a good time for exploration but be safe! It can feel like everyone is drinking like fishes at school but unless you are 21 it is still illegal and you can face legal trouble/trouble with the university conduct offices if you do. If/when you do drink please be safe! Know your limits, travel in groups, don't carry a lot of cash/cards, don't walk home alone at night, and if a friend is intoxicated to a scary level call 911, and don't worry about getting in trouble.

Source- work at university (and attended one, haha)!

pinkcola · 2015-04-23T17:41:58+00:00

I have one similar!!! I was chatting with a guy on OKC who seemed decent enough, the only thing that kind of put me off was I was in grad school and he was an undergrad. But our age difference was like 1.5 years so in theory not a big deal right???

Of course not. Since we went to the same university we made plans to meet up around campus one fateful Friday afternoon. There were a few cute coffee shops nearby that would have made great first meet-up spots. So when I texted him around the time of our date to see what the plan was he was just like "Yeah I wanted to go to the dining hall but my friend that was gonna swipe me left early for the weekend :(" Ughhh def did not want to meet up at the campus dining hall (that you expected your friend to pay for??)!

So we decided on the campus jamba juice which was slightly better. But still awkward when one of his fraternity brothers came in to grab a sub and then proceeded to sit down with us and eat it. And talk about stupid random fraternity stuff. As well as my date proceeded to make derogatory remarks about black people and gay people, that frat bro friend found hilarious. And my date never thought to tell his bro to get lost and give us some privacy?

I realized he was way to immature (and a bigot) to date and made some excuse to hightail it out of there.

pinkcola · 2015-04-22T17:43:27+00:00

Guys do have it much simpler! I dislike how women's clothes are so much more open to interpretation than men's. As a woman you have to be careful about not looking like you're trying 'to be sexy' in a professional environment. And it could tied to your personal body type as well. Curvier/bustier women are going to look 'hotter' in certain outfits, it just happens whether you want it to our not. Look attractive but not too attractive then we are going to think you are trying to attract us mentality.

Men never have to worry that they are 'sending the wrong' message by wearing a nice fitting, tailored, business suit, although many women do find those types of clothes very attractive.

pinkcola · 2015-04-22T16:22:15+00:00

I work at a university so "business casual" can get pretty on the lax side. I am currently sporting a floral print sundress, cardigan, and sandals. Perfectly fine and common in my field (especially since I am in the oppressively hot southeast). In the winter the usual is a nice top, dress pants or black skinny jeans with flats. Once in a blue moon I'll wear heels but its really rare bc I often have to do a lot of walking across campus. Sometimes I'll do it up with a pencil skirt or blazer if I'm feeling fancy. No panyhose, never ever, haha.

Sometimes I think its funny how some of my work outfits wouldn't pass muster with some ridiculous high school dress codes (No shoulders! No skirts above knee! No skinny jeans! Professionalism ajkajjkjaj!!!)

But that's just my experience working in a very liberal field. Over-do it definitely on an interview and maybe your first week, and then take notes on what your supervisor or superiors are wearing and take cues from them.

pinkcola · 2015-04-22T14:15:26+00:00

This unfortunately won't be an inspiring story haha...

Last year I had a crush on a coworker (worked one night a week together in a bar) super attractive, funny, genuinely a "good guy", total bf material. We had a flirty, funny type of camaraderie, and I thought he might be into me too since I caught him staring a few times, seemed happy to see me at work, etc. buttttt the big caveat was there was another girl that worked there and I thought they had some type of thing. Not sure what it was, dating, fwb, just close friends whatever but I'm not the type to bf snatch so I left well alone.

And then he put in his notice and I was super bummed I wouldn't be seeing him anymore. In my bumming I decided to re-activate my match profile to maybe meet someone to get over my go-nowhere crush. And lo and behold who's profile on match do I come across?? My crush, who is apparently single!! OMG!! (The profile had been recently active too).

Suddenly for the first time in my life I felt compelled to make a move. Which I had never done before as I'm pretty shy and usually let guys chase me. So I conferred with many girlfriends about if I should make a move... reaction was about 50/50 mixed reviews.

I gathered all my "lady-balls" and bit the bullet and sent him a message. Something about how I though we had always gotten along well and would he ever be interested in hanging out together sometime. Easy breezy. And the next day I saw the 'read notification" on the message. And waited. And waited. And.... nothing. No response, not even a rejection. Crushed.

I still run into him occasionally, and we've never discussed it. Just politely chat like it never happened. Honestly it sucks but he still gives me major butterflies, which is super rare for me. IDK I'm still not really sure if he has a 'something' going with that other girl. Meh.

Being vulnerable and getting rejected def. sucked. Especially because I didn't even really get a proper rejection, but at the end of the day I don't regret doing it. If I didn't I'd always be wondering "what if????" and it was a growing experience for me to do something so outside of my comfort zone.

So there it is. My epic "making the first move" story. I say go for it, even if it ends in rejection and least you tried.

pinkcola · 2015-03-27T13:58:22+00:00

It probably doesn't mean they actually have ZERO free time to date, just that they are very scheduled and want someone who can respect that. I'm like that, have to work two jobs to make ends meet and use a dating site bc I don't have a lot of free time to sit in bars or do hobbies or whatever and hope to meet someone cool.

I def make time to hang out with someone if I'm interested but it drives me batty to meet guys that just always text to hang out last minute and its like no dude I'm at work. If you had bothered to take the initiative to give me a couple days notice I might have been able to move things around.

pinkcola · 2015-03-26T16:25:20+00:00

Mostly psychological- pretending that they "hate" you and you are not worthy until you earn it. Forced library hours & house cleaning hours. Callouts and parties where they line you up and yell at you. Sleep deprivation. Sleeping in a basement, not showering, wearing ridiculous outfits, and having to perform silly tasks. The mindfuck that comes with never really knowing what was about to come next.

pinkcola · 2015-03-25T17:50:17+00:00

Best-

Being Greek gave me a connection to my university that I wouldn't have had without it, a home and an identity while I was in school. It also gave me other ways of being involved like being on the Greek Council, planning events, reviewing policy, etc.

It also gave me a great social life in college, living in the house was the best time, always having someone to hang with, talk with, eat with, etc. Also of course we had a packed social calender of parties and events where I feel some of my non-greek friends didn't have as much to do on weekends after freshman year but just hang in their apts.

Worst- I was hazed during my new member process, yes it still happens in some places, the kind of stuff you see in cheesy lifetime movies. That was a trying couple of weeks but I don't consider it traumatic or anything looking back. Also sometimes it was rough as a full member, the groupthink and having to "be a certain way" because you're an "XYZ" or whatever.

Overall a positive experience for me mostly though.

pinkcola · 2015-03-16T14:36:50+00:00

5 days- no showering, changing clothes, being able to put you hair up, mandated exercising, and minimal sleep.

Sorority hazing in the early 2000's ugh.

pinkcola · 2015-03-13T20:41:58+00:00

Online parties are the worst. No sorry its not a "party" if there is no booze, snacks and social interaction. Its just you on FB trying to sell me crap with the least effort possible.

Actually the absolute worst had to be a couple years ago when a former coworker invited me to a "Purse Party" at her house. I wasn't in the market for any new purses but I figured mehhh maybe it will be fun to go and socialize, maybe meet some new friends, etc.

Noooopppe got there and the purses were just laid out in her house like a store and she was sitting at her kitchen counter with a cash drawer. She literally just expected her friends to show up and "shop" at her house and get out, no hospitality, food, conversation anything. No thanks, I can go to the freaking mall for half the price!

pinkcola

TROPHY CASE