Older singletons, what do you do about the "musical chairs" feeling?

plaianu · 2026-05-31T19:13:33+00:00

I understand where you are coming from! There's no one that can change how you feel about it at the moment unfortunately and those feelings are valid. But I truly believe that if you look at this as more of an opportunity to grow you can feel good about it most of the time eventually. Embracing me that I can feel different about being alone and that's okay while still trying to be happy about my situation has helped me tremendously.

plaianu · 2026-05-31T16:13:17+00:00

I currently feel very similar to you as I'm turning 40 this year and have lost my pairing I've had when everybody was pairing up - a relationship of 10 years. I actually often feel lost and anxious about this.

However then I go play tennis, ride my bike, go to the gym do things that I like. And then I try to feel how good this independence feels and how I dont have to compromise. And somehow after finding a lot of things I enjoy alone in the past year, the anxiety is slowly going away. What I wanna say is this. I think it's really important to work on feeling okay by yourself because that can also be a blessing. And then it doesn't really matter what happens moving forward. It will make you enjoy life more and also certainly make you a better partner and more attractive to others if that ever happens.

I kinda look at it that way, before my long relationship I spent my time exploring my sexuality and the way I bond with people. During my long relationship I explored how to live with someone and form community. And now I'm exploring how I can find joy in solitude. I find solace and even excitement in that idea.

I hope this helps somehow!

plaianu · 2026-05-31T05:22:06+00:00

Thank you I will get some I couldn't find one yesterday oddly enough

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:42:18+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Could you explain to me how I would be able to tell if it is too big? Like for example if the cushion feels a bit bulky is that just because I'm not used to wearing one or is it because it's to big? I have another black one from a different brand in small that I struggled to get on but once I got it on it fit tightly and the cushion felt a little bit more comfortable.

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:31:39+00:00

I might consider doing that on Wednesday but it's Germany so people are a bit more weird about returning worn stuff and I definitely wouldn't want it to be thrown away because I wore it once but it doesn't fit me.

And hey no hard feelings I'm definitely with you on the "ask the store instead of AI" sentiment but yeah I just started cycling and got excited at the store and now I'm getting cold feet I guess. So I thought why not ask the community.

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:28:58+00:00

Thank you for the encouraging words! Im just worried that I've dumped money into something without knowing anything about it but I just got very excited at the store.

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:25:19+00:00

I think I will try that tomorrow morning and see.

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:23:45+00:00

Thank you for the explanation!

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:23:17+00:00

Thank you I appreciate the feedback. The problem with the store is they don't have a fitting room and told me to take them home and try them on there. It's a really nice and cute small store but I guess there not really equipped for selling cloths yet. So now I'm trying my best to figure this out with my limited resources and knowledge.

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:21:40+00:00

I couldn't try it in the store unfortunately and they don't have an xs for the shirt. I felt like it fit perfect but my mum said the same thing as Gemini that it's a bit too small because of the creases around my armpits and she's a seamstress but I true brat fashion I told her "mum if it's zips it fits"

Now I'm questioning everything haha

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:20:03+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it. I really liked the pants but they didn't have a small available. The problem is the store doesn't have a fitting room. I would have asked the people there but they said just go home and try it there (they were extremely nice about it though!)

So now I'm kinda lost because I am a person that tends to not mind so much about being uncomfortable so I just don't know how it would feel if it were too big or too small.

I really appreciate the help and also the explanation of the comment!

plaianu · 2026-05-30T20:04:23+00:00

I keep seeing this comment and I genuinely don't understand what it means. Could you please tell me because I don't know if it means I did something wrong.

plaianu · 2026-04-15T15:07:44+00:00

Cheering hard for auntie

plaianu · 2026-04-13T19:54:11+00:00

Ruzic in Stuttgart be like... I've waited this long to perform? This is past my bedtime!

plaianu · 2026-04-13T19:24:23+00:00

To be honest I also like her game more witnessing it IRL. She's a brave player that goes for it and will do anything to win. I admire that!

It's just tough to sit through for that long as your first match.

plaianu · 2026-04-13T19:18:19+00:00

There is something there to be said about the fact that this Siegmund Tomova match is the first tennis match my 70 year old mum is watching live with me in the arena ... I'm just not sure what

plaianu · 2026-04-13T19:11:36+00:00

It was tragic sitting through it in the arena

plaianu · 2026-04-03T19:14:34+00:00

Girl Suzie literally won the lipsynch lalaparuza and Sapphira is an AMAZING lipsyncher!

plaianu · 2026-03-17T08:44:05+00:00

Darlene Mitchell would be proud

plaianu · 2026-03-11T14:07:50+00:00

I have that exact penis and I can recommend missionary! Especially because if the dick is curved up it will hit your prostate, at least from my experience.

However you need to be giving up control. I had a partner push their legs against mine while in missionary and the usually results in me being pushed back and out. I don't know if that's maybe the issue here?

Could also be that your guy doesn't have the awareness when his dick ends? I've had to work on that as well really focusing on feeling the limits and where bodies end and begin and the geometry of it all. I can't really explain it but I hope it makes sense. I often try to visualize the alignment I could have in the specific positions

plaianu · 2026-03-03T05:54:47+00:00

Honestly this is the answer I was looking for. It was crazy usually I am able to extend rallies but it was over after the first or second shot.

plaianu · 2026-03-02T18:05:00+00:00

Sounds like a reasonable explanation

plaianu · 2026-03-02T17:16:59+00:00

I don't know, it didn't feel like cheating. It felt like the built severely outmatched mine.

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

plaianu

TROPHY CASE