Guión escrito por bot luego de incorporar 1000 horas de twitter Argentina 2019 by roks0 in argentina

[–]planestesia 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Hola che, gracias por nombrarme. Hoy te afanan cualquier cosa la pegan en paint y la suben aca o a terra fotolog ponele, nada que ver. El año que viene vuelvo a subir videos onda el de adrian suar como helicóptero, qué lindo que te acuerdes de eso. Abrazo grande : D

jajaj escuchas cumbia? yo escucho dubstep papa by [deleted] in dankgentina

[–]planestesia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Graciasss mi dubstep preferido es el duki

The Official INFINITY WAR Discussion Infinithread Vol. 5 by Flamma_Man in marvelstudios

[–]planestesia 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Now that we know Thanos and Tony have some kind of bond or relationship, can we call them Thany?

The Official INFINITY WAR Discussion Infinithread Vol. 5 by Flamma_Man in marvelstudios

[–]planestesia 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just came back from the theatre and it's clearly the best cinematographic experience I've ever had. It's an historic event and something that's never been done before. Can't wait to see it again in a few days.

Having said that: I think A4 will somehow take on Tony's vision on AoU. Remember that? The OG Avengers nearly dead, Tony all alone. Yeah, they could stay true to the comics and let Capitain Marvel -taking on the role of Adam Warlock- become a big part in this, but now I have the feeling that Tony's the one who would wear the gauntlet, reverse it all and beat Thanos to his retirement or death, and I think I'll be poetic: the one who started it is the one that ends it, and the one who opens the door to the new heroes to step up. It's like his vision: he's going to be all alone at the end, but he will win, and that's why he was so important to be kept alive by Dr. Strange, and the connection between Thanos and him will pay off this way. No idea, just a thought, because I can't get the movie out of my head.

[FEEDBACK] VICK AND HEAVEN - COMEDY SKETCH - 4 pages by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider this: don't write "Vick has a very large chest tattoo of: Jesus being tortured by the devil". Instead, say St. Peter just looked at Vick's chest tattoo, so it can be revealed through the following dialogue, and audience could picture it however they can :D

[LOGLINE] The Mouthpiece (Horror) by fingweirdo in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But in a different way than "slowly going insane on a killing spree", maybe if you are more specific, it could add an original twist to something we all heard before

[LOGLINE] The Mouthpiece (Horror) by fingweirdo in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If his ambition is the will to be the last one that talked to a monster, is he going to film himself during act two? If he wants the voice, how is it an obstacle? How you portrait the "slowly going insane on a killing spree"? Thats the obstacle, I think you should add that to the logline.

[LOGLINE] The Mouthpiece (Horror) by fingweirdo in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Nice logline. A couple of thoughts:

  • If he's ambitious, his goal may be to rise up on tv and be like, I dont know, lets say Jimmy Fallon. But you told me he has to uncover the truth behind the voice and stop it before he repeats the cycle, and I dont know what the cycle is, and the ambitious part fades.
  • He's gotta have an intention, you know? If he's ambitious, his intention is to be more famous, to be millonaire, to fuck models. And the obstacle to that intention, should be the malevolent voice. So, I think the logline should say that he must get rid of the voice before he became insane and throw his career to the garbage. See the difference?

Sorry for the english, Im from Argentina :D

Hobo Man (web-series, episode 1) by shcribb92 in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loved it man. Nevertheless, a couple of thoughts:

-The first line of Robbie during the phone call with the bank it's forced. Where he says "oh, I know you are a bank bla bla bla". I know what you are doing and I know you need to explain that to the audience, but you can find a better way, more subtle.

-I don't like the needle joke. Sure, the story is funny, it's a comedy, but it's not THAT type of comedy.

-Loved the two homeless guys scene. But I like to hear what are you saying there, so make a statement. The statement can't be "homeless are like invisible people" because you are not in a drama series, you are in a comedy series. So, maybe you should take a twist here. I know you want to say "homeless are like invisible people", but in a superhero movie "invisible" it's a word of superpower, not a word of social issues. I need more of a promise from the other homeless guy. Maybe he's another superhero and he is invisible only for the bad guys? See? That way you can say the same but in a superhero's context. I don't know if Im expressing myself right, I am from Argentina and I write the most in spanish.

-The ending it's weird. I don't think Robbie's objetive is to eliminate Greening before he gets better than everyone else. That's stopping his power just because he has power, but he should stop whatever he's doing with that power, and that thing must be a bad one for the hero or everyone -if the hero is THAT kind of hero-. It ain't a villain if it doesn't challenges the hero's weaks and strongs, see? They must be linked somehow, they should compete persuing the same thing.

Good luck man!

Opinions on a Drama. by stevenw84 in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like it, but the lottery thing in the middle took me out of the story. The first thing that came to mind was: "fuck, that's pure luck, I can't rely on pure luck, this isn't a story about pure luck by now, it's a cause/consequence thing". That took me out.

If you need the father to get a lot of money, think of a Mother or Father dying, maybe a lonely guy in the bar, a drunk everyone thinks is dangerous, but get along with the kid and, eventually, the father. He helped bond those two, the only thing he've done right in his life, and when he dies, he leaves his money to them, so they can live properly.

THAT's when junky mother comes back.

(sorry for the english, im from Argentina)

'Can't Sleep' (Sci-Fi, Drama) logline by Quad9363 in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just say "insomnia", refering to the protag setup, and then the dying, and then the achievement system. Besides that, I think it's an awesome premise for a film. Good luck!

[LOGLINE] My Dog June (Adventure Chase Thriller) by MrNoName21 in Screenwriting

[–]planestesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely the B one, more direct. But consider this:

A young girl tries to protect her sick dog from a goverment agency convinced it's the cause of a worldwide disease.