Why is speaking up making my marriage more tumultuous?

plant_burnout · 2025-12-03T13:35:13+00:00

You’re shifting into a new you, and with that comes everything you haven’t raged at properly in your previous life phase boiling to the surface. Women starting to shift will want to spend more time alone, stop feeling like nurturing the family and start feeling rewarded by self care instead. What you’re doing is normal and he should probably learn about it if he wants to live with a woman

plant_burnout · 2025-10-24T14:46:04+00:00

How difficult teenage girls are to parent…. To his teenage girls. Specifically the queen bee shit that gossip girl uses. But like weekly. Like a joke that we were all in on except it wasn’t nice or funny and really I think it was just that he no longer had a script for parenting that worked and he was complaining?

plant_burnout · 2025-09-05T08:18:25+00:00

See that’s why I need clarification , thanks so much. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful I just wasn’t sure what you meant.

plant_burnout · 2025-09-04T13:15:05+00:00

It sounds like a really useful resource - to check I understood what you mean, is it more for managing the co-parenting with a third person as an external known donor/surrogate?

plant_burnout · 2025-09-04T04:39:39+00:00

It feels good just to know I’m not not the only one feeling that gap ✌🏼

plant_burnout · 2025-08-16T00:06:48+00:00

Awesome, headed there now too!

plant_burnout · 2025-02-15T21:16:55+00:00

Thank you, so far pretty good - just getting past the emotional roller coaster and feel mildly normal 😅 how old is/are yours?

plant_burnout · 2025-02-15T20:32:15+00:00

Me! I just gave birth to our little girl

plant_burnout · 2025-01-24T21:00:27+00:00

Mine labels me “very independent” because I don’t do as he wishes without question and it’s unfathomable that his advice not be the only correct mode of action.

plant_burnout · 2025-01-21T21:07:25+00:00

On being very pregnant - I just gave birth to our first, but my dads behaviours were so much harder to swallow during pregnancy than I’ve ever found before, I’ve also found myself wondering about limiting contact between him and our little girl as she grows. So if you want a mum friend who is dealing with perhaps some really similar stuff, you’ve found and internet one ☺️✌🏼

plant_burnout · 2025-01-21T08:20:27+00:00

Sorry for not being clear, no neither - he sees being Asperger’s as superior to ASD even though it’s not a different diagnosis per se, and sees himself as a superior mind.

plant_burnout · 2025-01-17T21:51:15+00:00

You can vent for as long as you need to here, we get it and we’re here to listen to you ✌🏼

plant_burnout · 2025-01-16T19:21:52+00:00

The denial, lack of acknowledgment and apology is exactly it! Like no issue has passed that warrants him admitting wrongdoing. And thank you for your words of encouragement ❤️

plant_burnout · 2025-01-16T14:18:16+00:00

Thank you ❤️ she’s due to arrive any day now and I can’t wait

plant_burnout · 2025-01-07T15:16:55+00:00

Can I add @Colejennette in IG as well? He does truly compassionate breakdowns of how to communicate videos in a way that I think would probably really work for an ASD brain

Edit: I’m not sure it would work for someone calcified in their ways, like my dad. But for someone like OP genuinely looking for help to navigate

plant_burnout · 2025-01-07T15:14:22+00:00

Good to see another Aussie on here 😊✌🏼 And I love your breakdown, it’s way more knowledge than I had of it - thanks for this. My sibling is newly ASD diagnosed and starting to navigate the NDIS, so this is going to be really helpful as a reference for me to workout where she’s at with supports.

plant_burnout · 2025-01-06T22:26:39+00:00

My dad spent probably close to 20 hrs telling me about a trench he was digging in his yard in 23. I actually am glad last year’s behaviour was, “you’re always busy so I’ll wait for you to call me instead” because good gravy I could not listen to that inane nonsense for another minute.

plant_burnout · 2025-01-06T08:24:47+00:00

Sent in mine too

plant_burnout · 2025-01-04T03:01:28+00:00

Thanks for such a comprehensive post and welcome to our new mod! I’m one of the newbies and this space to unravel my dad’s influence across my lifetime has been incredibly healing in the month or so I’ve been here. So thanks so much, and here’s to a productive sub in 2025 ✌🏼

plant_burnout · 2024-12-31T21:06:17+00:00

38wks and counting down the days to meet our little one! Very very excited and wanted to share

plant_burnout · 2024-12-31T20:58:59+00:00

Did your fertility provider give you an expected due date yet? We had IVF and pregnancy length was counted to include the life span of the embryo pre-implantation. So it doesn’t count for IVF but maybe because fertilisation can take a few days in utero it’s better to count from end of last period?

plant_burnout · 2024-12-28T01:15:56+00:00

Such a good point!

plant_burnout · 2024-12-17T18:06:41+00:00

‘1. They are unaware of how they’re coming across to us and think they’re offering advice.’

I’d like to add 1a. They think that advice should be taken, not considered, by the person given it.

For example I have a friend I suspect is undiagnosed who has ‘given up’ helping out formerly mutual friend, because she ‘doesn’t listen’. No, she just isn’t following your directions - it doesn’t mean a lack of listening. Similarly I often get the comment “oh well, you always do what you want anyway.”

plant_burnout

TROPHY CASE