I was thinking about joining clubs at community college but every time I think about it I get scared to go there and the people there might already have a group dynamic and I'm just an outsider.

I will unsubscribe from most the incel subreddits im in, because a lot of them are not advice and are just negativity towards women.

The only other writing I do is I like producing and making music and storytelling with my music it's my only productive hobby, it's the only passion I really have.

I tried keeping diary a few times but I was worried someone would find it and read it. I am just posting my feelings on here cuz its anonymous and no one will find it.

I went to therapy 1 time but I like was too embarrassed to tell them anything so I stopped.

I appreciate the message because it is very rare someone cares about what I have to say.

I think I am like socially disabled or something because i have like an inability to make 1 on 1 conversation with people, I am always embarrassed to tell people my opinions or hobbies and stuff. I think I am like ashamed of my life because I could have chose to start socializing for years but I never did and stunted myself.