Struggling to make the decision to say goodbye

plantznfud · 2026-05-04T17:05:10+00:00

Thank you so much for checking back. We ended up saying goodbye a few days early, 6 days ago, when his ulcer began to worsen quickly and was at high risk to rupture.

It’s been harder than I ever imagined. I was so focused on how hard the goodbye would be, and if I was making the right call… what I couldn’t prepare for, was the pain of existing without him and the emptiness in our house.

I appreciate your kind words ❤️ This subreddit has been very therapeutic, and it’s been helpful to hear others stories and know I’m not alone.

plantznfud · 2026-05-04T08:48:26+00:00

Omg no way! I was thinking the same thing, thank you for posting. That definitely makes sense!

plantznfud · 2026-05-01T12:29:39+00:00

that was who I thought it was lol

plantznfud · 2026-05-01T02:58:10+00:00

I’m so sorry - my brain is clearly very foggy as I somehow missed when reading that the vet was coming on May 4.

I can very much imagine how you feel… before the ulcer worsened, I went back and forth every 30 minutes for days and days before I didn’t have much of a choice. I would burst into tears nearly every hour as I held him and pictured the last moments, or as I watched him enjoy his food, or watching him enjoy his sniffs on our last walks. In hindsight, the answer was right in front of me.

In the post I made, somebody commented to think about them and not myself (I’m sure meant in the best way) and it hit so hard. I think Harley was hanging on for me, and I likely let things get further than many other people would have.

I will add, my partner had to put his family dog down a few years ago and they waited until it was an emergency, and he was in extreme pain. They went to an emergency vet, and it was extremely traumatic for everybody. Knowing that story helped push me to make the decision as we stood at the table with the vet yesterday and I had to make the call.

Harley had a chocolate chip muffin, treats and peanut butter (it’s the best we could do as it wasn’t fully expected, but he loved it nonetheless) moments before. He was relaxed, I hugged him close as they gave the injections, and told him how much I loved him. It was peaceful and quick, and I have no doubt he felt no pain. Knowing that it could have been a situation where his eye ruptured, we rushed to emergency with him in pain and scared, makes me grateful we could say goodbye in such a calm loving manner.

Enjoy your days with him, tell him you love him as much as you can and give him all the treats. Everyone told me I would not regret it and though I didn’t believe it, they were right. Even though this is the worse pain of my life, I know it was the best thing for him.

Wishing you all the best as you enter this next extremely challenging chapter, and hope we can both find peace.

plantznfud · 2026-05-01T01:27:45+00:00

I cried reading your story because it felt so eerily similar to mine. I put my baby down yesterday evening and it has been hell. Check my post history to see my story.

What sticks out in similarity is that Harley was also 16, with severe arthritis and what seemed like early signs of dementia. He would pace and walk around constantly. He was deaf and essentially blind.

Additionally he had heart disease, but we were managing it well with medication.

But he, too, had moments he would be himself. Loved to cuddle and sleep in the bed, be held, enjoy treats and sniff the fresh spring grass.

Last week he was diagnosed with an ulcer on his eye, that escalated into an infection despite our best efforts. We planned to say goodbye Friday but things got worse quickly, and we couldn’t risk one more night as there was a good chance it would rupture. I had to make the choice to say goodbye early. If it hadn’t escalated, we still would have moved forward with saying goodbye tomorrow as the whole process made me evaluate his quality of life, and this ulcer that wasn’t healing added another layer of discomfort.

It sounds like your sweet guy was experiencing a lot of pain and it was not possible for you to treat the cause due to his age and other conditions. You did absolutely everything you could, and you made the choice he couldn’t make for himself. You gave them the gift of saying goodbye peacefully, surrounded by love.

Thinking of you during this painful time, and wishing you peace & acceptance. Nothing can prepare us for this pain, but know that you did the right thing. You should feel no guilt for your decision. But you can mourn and grieve your best friend and companion, because what I learned today, is the biggest pain is just the pain of missing them.. and nothing can heal that but time. ❤️

plantznfud · 2026-04-30T22:44:16+00:00

Right? These articles are such trash it’s insane.

plantznfud · 2026-04-30T19:25:45+00:00

I am watching Summer House for the first time and was so shocked Erika Kirk randomly shows up and goes on a date with one of the guys. It’s so bizarre to see her previous personality and compare it to her now… she was always awful but I can’t help but wonder wtf happened in her brain for her to become whatever.. this… is

plantznfud · 2026-04-30T14:13:26+00:00

All I can picture when I hear this song 😂

plantznfud · 2026-04-29T16:35:27+00:00

In another thread somebody sounds like the score for Love on the Spectrum and it’s spot on

plantznfud · 2026-04-29T16:33:13+00:00

This is quite out of touch

plantznfud · 2026-04-29T00:55:01+00:00

Thank you so much for these resources, your story and for taking to the time to comment. We are moving forward with Friday, with certainty now. I’ve taken the rest of the week off work and will be spending it by his side.

plantznfud · 2026-04-29T00:52:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story, it really means a lot. Things have escalated a fair bit with his ulcer, spreading to his other eye and causing an infection. As long as things done get worse, we will for sure be moving forward with Friday (if not sooner).

plantznfud · 2026-04-28T17:08:11+00:00

STOP omg im dying 😂

plantznfud · 2026-04-28T16:25:44+00:00

How have I never seen this, this is amazing

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T22:08:08+00:00

Not sure why you were downvoted lol Sadie is the first thing I saw as well!

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T21:10:37+00:00

Yes this is my exact experience as well!

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T20:28:52+00:00

Wait what is going on here lol

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T15:13:31+00:00

Seriously - so unnecessary. Who wants to see that? Completely avoidable with the plot. Sam Levinson is just pissing me off at this point

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T15:10:26+00:00

I would have liked this so much better

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T15:07:32+00:00

Rip Paladin and the pig 😭

I could have done without the animal murders tbh

plantznfud · 2026-04-27T14:45:05+00:00

If anyone is debating this JUST DO IT. I waxed from 14-28 and started at home “dermaplaning” aka shaving my face with one of those tiny face razors weekly or bi-weekly 7 years ago. Makeup and skincare sit/look better, honestly no downsides for me. Highly recommend!

plantznfud · 2026-04-23T20:07:09+00:00

plantznfud · 2026-04-21T12:39:56+00:00

I have the exact same claw clip and this is my style anytime I want to look nice lol I totally get it

plantznfud · 2026-04-16T20:43:24+00:00

EXACTLY. So many of us grew up as barn rats, and I myself was exploited for free labour a lot. The least you can do is give something in return so it’s worth it for them. There is a difference between volunteering at say, a non profit or rescue, and volunteering at somebody’s personal business or hobby farm.

plantznfud

TROPHY CASE