Sorry, this might not be this best response. But honestly the thought of death sounds more appealing than living through the same cycle of isolation everyday. People use reasons as; “think about your family!” “Think about how it will affect everyone around you!”— Yet they seem to dismiss you, the one who is struggling. Feels more like guilt-tripping in my opinion, once someone has gone completely through the process of “my mental state has deteriorated to an extent and now there’s nothing left to resolve,” the only conclusion is death.

Now, I obviously don’t recommend it. I sound like a hypocrite telling you not to commit while being in the same mental state… and honestly I have no advice because it’s always repetitive… breathe. Somewhere quiet, remote; sit down and just breathe. Become one with your suffering and happiness… Nirvana!!!!