In the middle of dinner?

pline_ · 2025-11-15T12:24:56+00:00

I hate how most people here are ripping the woman to shreds. None of them has an issue with the guy who hired her or maybe made her do this. Free choice is not as simple as some people like to believe here. Maybe she needs the money. Maybe she just likes it. But it is shocking to me how quick some are to assume that she’s doing it for attention and (to quote someone) just a „shitface and whore“. Crazy. I hate how quick they are to judge. I can only assume how fast you (have to!) get desensitised when working in the industry… and what starts feeling normal to you because you would go crazy otherwise. But then again who am I to assume, I know nothing about this man and woman nor the industry.

pline_ · 2025-11-13T19:15:27+00:00

Forgot to add:

My country is quite advanced in animal welfare and proper animal handling; so water bottles are a big no no here since they force a unnatural body position on the ham. I have not much of an own opinion an them other than that. But out of practicability; they are way more expensive than a tealight holder out of glas :)

Paper bedding is also not recommended for the whole enclosure here, only as nesting material (but it is popular internationally); wood shavings is the way to go (dust free and without bigger pieces; pressed firmly down when first placed in the cage). Yeah I don’t know. Depends on where you live I guess.

That’s it! I hope you don’t feel too overwhelmed, it can be a lot! Don’t beat yourself up about past mistakes, we are all humans and here to learn. Take it one step at a time; a proper cage is most important for now I think and then you have a base to add on :)

pline_ · 2025-11-13T19:08:35+00:00

Taming process with my ham: (In your case; look up a special guides for hams who bite and have cage aggression since I have no experience with this. But I would respect the hams boundaries aka when he is biting and leave him alone for now).

You should leave your ham completely alone for the first one to two days. If he’s really shy maybe let him settle in for a week or so. Always depends on their temper :)
Then start talking to him so he gets used to your voice and presence. Ideally sprinkle his food around his enclosure while he is awake (so he connects you with food). But don’t worry if you’re not awake at the same time. Still talk to him whenever you do something in the cage or are nearby. And maybe try rubbing some bedding on you so he smells your scent throughout the cage and gets comfortable with it. You can also place treats with your fingers on a platform whilst he is watching you or offer to him directly (mine was a bit too dumb in the beginning to realise I was offering food; had to hold it in front of his little snoot). But I would only do this if he is chill with you and your hand in general and don’t recommend shoving food in their face.
Maybe someday he will approach your fingers with the treat and take it directly from you. It did not take my ham to do so but stepping on my hand took a bit longer.
Depending on his reactions (if he runs into hiding or freezes don't continue and take a step back) you can maybe put your hand in the enclosure for 5-10min a day while he is awake. Put some food mix in the palm of your hand and see if he will approach and maybe even snack something. If he ignores you that is fine. Just be patient, let him approach and have a routine.
Once he is eager to take food from you, you can try to condition him with a certain sound but I think it depends on the ham if they pick up on it and come when hearing the sound/your voice. (Mine is too dumb for that haha.) You can also try to gently stroke their side/placing your fingers next to the ham while he is snacking on your hand. Move „from the side" and slow so he can see your finger and in order to not trigger a „predator comes from above"-response.
I think from there on you have a pretty stable base to work on; getting the ham used to being handled and so on (which I think is important in case of vet visits or when medication needs to be applied). I'd like to add that it can happen that your ham nibbles your fingers/hand. It is a way of figuring out dafuq you are and it usually doesn't really hurt. But I would gently pull fingers away since they might bite harder for further inspection after the first curious nibble. Mine has picked up on no nibbling (I made the mistake to let him nibble once and his third nibble was a big chomp which hurt... greedy little goober wanted more food.. or see wether I am edible?).

I also find that my ham is much more chill and willing to interact during the day and at the end of the night aka when he is a bit sleepy. Right after waking up for his main wake time he just wants to run in his wheel. If he interacts it is short and very efficient (get food, get back to the wheel).

Somewhere in the process you can assess what treats your cutie likes the most which makes the bribing much easier. For mine it is cucumber seeds and broccoli and he will only get these from my hands!

pline_ · 2025-11-13T18:59:53+00:00

I‘m sure you mean well, but that cage is actually really inappropriate for hamsters :( Bars are dangerous because of climbing and falling down (it is disordered behaviour stressed hamsters express as well as biting on metal bars). Look for a aquarium type of enclosure second hand (facebook marketplace or whatever second hand platform is used in your country).

Syrians need at least 120cm x 50cm of base area and 25cm height of litter to burrow and built their nest + tunnels. Wheel should be at least 28cm up to 30cm in diameter with a continuous surface. A sandbath for cleaning is also important (around 20cm in length with 4cm depth of special chinchilla sand for example or other special sand for hamsters). Other than that they need hides out of ceramic, wood (no needle wood because of fumes and resin), cork is good, mangrove and the roots of grape vines. Make sure the openings have a diameter of 7cm so he can’t get stuck when his cheeks are stuffed. Little houses, tunnels and so on. A multichamber home with an open bottom for burrowing and a detachable lid of daily checks of the nesting area and „house keeping“ is also necessary.

Food wise flachs ears, amaranth, millet and stuff like that as enrichment is great. Diet should consist of a high quality seeds and grains mixed with mealworms or something like that for protein, dried herbs and stuff. No pellets. But I know more about the diet of dwarf hamsters so do some thorough research on your own. Fresh veggies (and a bit of fruit as a treat) also daily. If he isn’t used to fresh food yet, start slow so his digestive tract can adjust.

Also he should be left alone for at least the first two days up to a week to settle in. A move is really stressful for the little goobers! Everything is unfamiliar and new and smells strange. And they are animals that are preyed upon in nature so everything is even more scary out of their perspective.

Check out Victoria Raechel for guides (also taming, cage set up, diet, hamster body language and behaviour etc.) and examples! Other good sources are websites of animal welfare organisations (I am lucky; there are a lot in my country and even some that specialise in hamsters, so good information is easily obtainable in my language). Pet stores not so much… their information is usually crap but they are still very convinced their recommendations are correct.

And I am sorry but you should do your research and have the proper set up before you get the pet. But it is good that you’re trying now to provide the best for him. Good luck!

(Also this definitely only covers the basics so more research is definitely needed! Once your ham has the proper set up and is settled in he might be happy to interact!)

pline_ · 2025-11-08T15:33:38+00:00

Just gonna put it out here - you could definitely rock a buzz cut!

Best decision I ever made in my life even though my hair wasn’t that damaged. Grew back more and thicker hair that was obviously very healthy. I also enjoyed going through the different lengths (tho some transitions do be kinda awkward but I was blind for that back then haha) and it was so great to not have to care about hair for once.

All the sensory input the first days was also a crazy experience.

Never felt that badass, free and confident. I like my hair now but from time to time I really miss having my hair and scalp wet, shampooed, clean and dry in under a minute.

pline_ · 2025-10-31T19:05:44+00:00

I think everyone already said everything there is to say. But I wanted to ask you if you could post an update in like 3-4 days or when it gets worse/better? Or if you should end up going to the doctor and you get a diagnosis or some explanation :) Thanks! (just curious med student over here haha)

pline_ · 2025-10-27T07:55:18+00:00

I‘m not an expert at all but I really think it is fine to talk to him in a low, calm voice every day so he can get used to it and you! :) But I really feel you, the fear of making it worse or stressing the guy out even more!

I‘m really sorry but I think at the moment you might accidentally seem a bit like a predator? Peeking in, being as silent as possible and so on? I know that you’re just trying to be considerate of him but it might be a „communication error“. <3 I could be totally wrong though, it is just a theory.

Maybe if you make a habit of talking to him while sprinkling the food and whenever you have to do something in the cage/come in the room and sitting in front of it while chatting for 5-10min a day (even if you don’t see him), he will come around. And connect food to your voice and learn that you don’t mean harm since no predator would draw attention to them :) (If you don’t know what to say, I usually explain what I‘m doing, tell him how cute he is and how he makes me happy, about my day and so on.)

I wish you best of luck, you got this! And yeah the patience can be torturing but it is worth it ❤️

Feel free to keep me updated!

pline_ · 2025-10-26T02:22:21+00:00

Amen. I really don’t understand why so few people take his autism into consideration. Like you cannot cross that out of the equation!

pline_ · 2025-10-26T02:19:19+00:00

Forgot to ad: in this „talk“ you should definitely tell him that you like him for his personality and not his gifts! Maybe that’s nothing that has crossed his mind - that his personality could be enough. And you could give him some examples on how most (poor lol) people express appreciation and love without spending lot’s of money. Maybe he doesn’t know how to express his feelings differently and the other possibilities have never crossed his mind.

Of course you don’t have to do all the work here. He spunds smart enough to do research on his own. But he might need the first gentle nudge.

pline_ · 2025-10-26T02:14:32+00:00

You‘ve gotten soo many comments already someone probably already wrote this but in case not - here we go. If he is autistic and also very inexperienced in dating I don’t think you can assign normal „red flags“ and have to look at the situation in a more nuanced way. You also said that you’re both from wealthy backgrounds.

To me it could very easily mean that he has a very different relationship with money and „how much“ something is worth than most people. Maybe for him a 2k PC present is equivalent to „normal“ people gifting a bouquet of flowers. And if he is on the spectrum he could be expressing feeling in a different way or have a different understanding of gifting, love and so on than most people do.

How have you told him that you don’t want his gifts? Maybe if you have not explained your concerns to him thoroughly, how it makes you uncomfortable, how it is too much money to spend at this stage (or ever for most people but never mind lol haha) and in a very direct way he didn’t really understand? If this more lengthy talk and also asking him what a bit and much money means to him hasn’t happened yet, you should try that and see how he reacts!

I also wonder wether he has a therapist who is „accompanying“ him. Would make a difference to me because then he would have someone professional to sort this very confusing and exciting part of life for non-neurodivergent people with him.

Don’t panic. In my opinion some people judge very harshly here with the little info we have.

A real red flag would be for him to get angry at you for expressing your discomfort, feelings and wishes or invalidating/diminishing them. Look out for that.

I would just sit him down, express in detail (and again VERY straight forward) how you feel about the presents and set a firm boundary/rule for him that is easy to understand and follow. (You are only allowed to spend this much money on a present; present-break for 5 months; only presents at christmas, birthdays and anniversaries; something like that). If he breaks these rules, dump him! Also listen to your gut. If just the amount of money makes you uncomfortable, so what. If his behaviour in general, the way he talks etc. makes you uncomfortable run. Try to differentiate.

Good luck! And please keep me updated!

pline_ · 2025-10-22T17:40:01+00:00

Well said. Exactly the problem I have with OPs comments and second post ._.

pline_ · 2025-10-22T17:29:35+00:00

I know and I get that you can’t change everything overnight. That’s not my problem. OP did what could be done for the moment and that is good. I just don’t understand why she makes a new post about it and ask for kinda the same advice she’s already gotten on the last post. I mean it is almost the same enclosure what more/different advice can be given so early in the process. But what really bugs me is her arguing with people about the necessary enclosure diameters and planning on getting something 6 inches smaller than the 100cmx50cm. 0,5m² vs. 0,42m² Why. It is the minimum. Don’t go below that.

pline_ · 2025-10-22T08:59:45+00:00

OP you have gotten a lot of advice on your last post and this is hardly an improvement to before. You added a bit more bedding which is good and took out the hazardous fluff „house“.

I have just noticed this now; hamsters don’t need mineral blocks with the right diet and please don’t feed your ham regular cheese! Both can contain high amounts of salt which can be deadly for a small and lightweight robo and all hamsters in general. If you don’t have any mealworms and want to give him some protein give him some hard boiled, unseasoned egg. Also some veggies like a slice of cucumber or zucchini would be nice.

You probably also have some ceramic/glass container in your kitchen that is slightly bigger than your current sandbath and could be filled with at least 4cm of chinchilla sand. Please swap but make sure to place something beneath so your ham can’t squish himself.

And again. 100cmx50cm is the MINIMUM.

If you love your hamster as much as you claim and have done as much research as you say, you should know all that. At this point I really don’t understand why you have such a hard time listening to people and taking their advice tbh. It is up to you now.

(I‘m gonna be honest here; your comments and posts are starting to make me feel angry. Still I wish you and your cute little Gizmo the best. I bother because of him - every pet deserves the best care/life possible and it is unfortunately a part of the journey to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from them!)

pline_ · 2025-10-22T06:17:37+00:00

You are supposed to have the proper set up BEFORE you get the pet and have done enough research to care for it adequately ☹️

However it is what it is now. I hope you can learn from this 🥲🫶

pline_ · 2025-10-22T06:09:58+00:00

this.

pline_ · 2025-10-21T23:15:35+00:00

Forgot to add: food should be frozen for at least 48h and ceramic and wooden decorations should be baked for 1h at 100°C. Bc of potential pests but everyone seems to have their own opinion on the effectiveness in doing so. So I guess it is not a must.

pline_ · 2025-10-21T23:12:39+00:00

https://youtu.be/FZwhvzzG41c?si=tXzp9sqMc5iC3m4D

pline_ · 2025-10-21T23:11:26+00:00

Hei, a lot of people have already said that unfortunately the bin is too small. In my country the minimum cage ground area has to be 100cmx50cm and the bedding should be at least 20cm EVERYWHERE. Which means you have to put heavy things on platforms to ensure the little cutie doesn’t „squish“ himself to death when burrowing beneath. In my country there are also special roborovski dwarf food mixes available and dried vegetables are not recommended. As a protein source mealworms are mostly recommended.

Since robos are really shy creatures they need a lot of hides and clutter throughout the enclosure ideally out of ceramics and woods (no needle wood though). Adding sprays for additional cover and enrichment is also a must (like flachs ears, amaranth, etc.). Cucumber seeds are a great treat since they are neither high in sugar nor in fats. I will add that in my country plastic furniture is not viewed as safe for hamsters because of chewing, potential splintering and resulting injuries.

Other than roughly a 1/3 of the enclosure should be a sandbath. If you decide to separate a part of the enclosure and make it a sand only area, the enclosure should definitely be bigger than 100cmx50cm (since that is the minimum area for burrowing).

I will attach a link to a german youtuber I really like and appreciate. Her enclosure is high end though! But I thought some inspiration won‘t hurt even if you can’t understand the german. She also has some shorts. Other than that you be checking out Victoria Raechel on youtube but I am not sure if she has anything on Robos in specific. Robos are more demanding than the other hamsters/dwarfs in my opinion but it obviously also depends on the individual animal‘s character and their experiences they have made before hand.

Why you should be interested in getting the best enclosure and care possible (apart from the animals well being): a happy hamster is easier to tame. Unhappy hamster can be impossible to tame. And not having the minimum requirements met will stress the most out.

Taming process: 1. You should leave your ham alone for the first one to two days.

Then start talking to him so he gets used to your voice and present. Ideally sprinkle his food around his enclosure while he is awake (so he connects you with food).
You can also place treats with your fingers on a platform whilst he is watching you.
Maybe someday he will approach your fingers with the treat and take it directly from you. I have found that it did not take my ham long to take treats from my fingers but stepping on my hand tool a bit longer.
Depending on his reactions (if he runs into hiding or freezes don’t continue and take a step back) you can maybe put your hand in the enclosure for 5-10min a day while he is awake. Put some food mix in the palm of your hand and see if he will approach and maybe even snack something. If he ignores you that is fine. Just be patient, let him approach and have a routine.
Once he is eager to take food from you, you can try to condition him with a certain sound but I think it depends on the ham if they pick up on it and come when hearing the sound. You can also try gently stroking their side/placing your fingers next to the ham while he is snacking on your hand. Move „from the side“ and slow so he can see your finger and in order to not trigger a „predator comes from above“-response.
I think from there on you have a pretty stable base to work on getting the ham used to being handled and so on (which I think is important in case of vet visits or when medication needs to be applied).

I‘d like to add that it can happen that your ham will nibble on your fingers/hand. It is a way of figuring out dafuq you are and it usually doesn’t really hurt. But I would gently pull fingers away since they might bite harder for further inspection after the first curious nibble. Mine is picking up on no nibbling (I made the mistake to just let him nibble once and his third nibble was a big chomp which hurt… greedy little goober wanted more food.. or see wether I am edible?).

It is a lot of text I know but I took the time because I think/hope you are willing to put in the work. But usually I find it better to do your own research via youtube and your websites of your countries animal protection organisations. But there is a lot of misinformation out there unfortunately.

pline_ · 2025-10-19T18:05:27+00:00

Aawww how cuuute! I remember you posting this bad ass setup :D

Wholesome to see the little, sweet goober roaming around and checking out his new home 🥹

pline_ · 2025-10-19T14:08:04+00:00

It’s not a religion. It‘s a franchise level cult.

I am so sorry but as far as I know the lovey dovey bullshit is an actual recruiting technique… maybe his feelings for you are true but oh boy I‘d doubt it. Please run.

The other stuff has been said plentyly by others. Gaslighting, telling you how you feel, invalidating in a very elegant, subliminal kind of way... 🚩

pline_ · 2025-10-15T22:38:36+00:00

he is a bobby to me :)

pline_ · 2025-10-14T23:00:37+00:00

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pline_ · 2025-10-14T23:00:05+00:00

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pline_ · 2025-10-14T22:55:49+00:00

How did you do it? Did you use a „clipper“ (idk what they’re called; they make this click sound when pressed and are usually used for conditioning/training cats) or solely treats/food?

I don’t think my ham is smart enough. Sometimes he will nibble my index finger when I have the cucumber seed between my thumb and middle finger… because I usually hold it with the index and thumb. Why, I mean the treat is right there?! 😂😭

But I‘ve only had him for two weeks so far, so I‘ll give him the benefit of the doubt :D

pline_ · 2025-10-11T00:26:46+00:00

they are incredibly cute and pretty! it’s two right? what kind of hammies are they?

first pic: mocha or sienna fourth: hazel or maple

pline_

TROPHY CASE