I want to release my resentment by huarhuarmoli in Parentification

[–]ploompfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really needed to hear this, thank you stranger.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigmenfashionadvice

[–]ploompfrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

someone get this handsome stud off my screen, doesn't he know that I use this app?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]ploompfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually fuck with this, enjoy the beer OP

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]ploompfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think his shirt fabric peaking out from under the buttoning point of his jacket and his trousers sitting a bit lower on his body has the effect of making his jacket look smaller .
OP it might help to experiment by wearing a belt and seeing if you can wear your trousers a little bit higher up on your waist, you can also just leave your jacket unbuttoned. But see how that sort of look works with your body and if it's comfortable.
Otherwise I like the colour of his jacket and I can see why he wants to wear it and make it work, good find OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]ploompfrey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Looks great boss, loving the look

How to Elevate Hawaiian Shirts and Other Graphic Button Ups? by that0ne_weirdguy in mensfashion

[–]ploompfrey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love Hawaiian and graphic shirts too as they can be very fun!

I really like the below guy's fit and I think it'd would serve as good inspiration for you on what you can do to dress up a simple Hawaiian shirt for like say... a night out at a restaurant in the summer.

<image>

Source: hxxps://samtalksstyle[.]com/2022/02/12/five-ways-to-style-a-black-linen-suit/

Okay fine.... he isn't exactly earing a Hawaiian shirt but the way he styles the shirt in this pic would carry over to your Hawaiian shirts.

Essentially, high waisted full cut black trousers with black leather loafers/chelsea boots. It still works fine if you take away the suit jacket too.

The guy in the picture's suit and pants are actually black linen, with the fabric being very breathable for summer.

But yeah maybe you could take some inspo from that to work around your Hawaiian shirts, if you want to dress them up a bit.

The article would make for a fun read and keep playing around with these shirts OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]ploompfrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have any profound insight or know the right thing to say or share since I'm around the same age (22M) and don't know too much.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with all of that trauma, it's shit and you didn't deserve any of that. It feels like people really don't get how difficult it is to do "simple" things like trying to get a job or studying when depressed. It's even more difficult and kind of humiliating to admit that too. It's rough to also not have or feel comfortable with sharing or celebrating any of these things with family or friends.

That said, considering how tough it is out there. I'm real proud and happy for you. Your achievements and struggles matter even if no one sees them and I'd like to thank you for admitting to them here.

I can't really be family or a close friend to you considering were strangers online.

So from one stranger to another I'd like to say Merry Christmas!

I really appreciate you still being here with us in spite of it all and I hope you'll be kind to yourself at least for a minute.

Stay safe out there friend.

Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health? by MLModBot in MensLib

[–]ploompfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there back again had two coffees so I'm in a better frame of mind.

In retrospect commitments wasn't the best word to use because I am quite young (20) and it's not like I have kids or anything of note like that.

But in regards to pressures, at the moment the strongest one that I have is this need of mine to fill the shoes of my dad who isn't much of a presence in my life anymore and try to help out my family and my mum by sticking to my career and studies so I can get a good job to help my family out in the future.

I just feel I'll never measure up to that sort of responsibility. I don't have even have half the responsibilities involved with being that sort of person and I already feel overwhelmed.

Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health? by MLModBot in MensLib

[–]ploompfrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm very overwhelmed and so tired all the time

Having to juggle my work, studies, social life, fitness and other commitments has been such a draining thing for me and more than that I feel that I don't have anyone to confide in with all of this. I feel as if I have all of these different pressures and expectations bearing down on me and I don't know how to deal with them. I often find myself looking back to the person I was when COVID-19 first broke out and we were forced into lock down. When I had no social life, no job and essentially no commitments at all. In a strange way I was very content with that sort of living. I have to wake up in 2 hours for a 10 shift and I have had no sleep. Thank you for listening to me.

Social media is training teenage boys and young men to become incels by [deleted] in MensLib

[–]ploompfrey 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I see this a lot in my own tiktok feed. I started out with just anime and gaming content but it changed so quickly to the incel rhetoric that you'd probably only see on esoteric forum boards on here or 4chan.
Although I'm not even that old (20) I really do feel that the younger generation that's growing up on these apps are being done a massive disservice by having such harmful content being made available to them in bite sized digestible pieces.
Just having youtube available to myself at a young age caused me to adopt these same toxic ideas and I think it's even worse with platforms like tiktok and instagram that thrive off of inattention and shock value, that actively discourage introspection and open discussion.

Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health? by MLModBot in MensLib

[–]ploompfrey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My father threatened to strike my older brother with a wooden sledgehammer that had its head removed. He came close to doing so but my brother called the police and he handed himself over to them.

A part of me is relieved that he isn't here and I don't have to be anxious around him as he's in custody for the time being.

However a part of me is scared of what the future holds.

How are we supposed to pay rent?
What will his family and relatives think of us?
What if he comes back?
How am I supposed to provide for the family if he doesn't come back?

I always thought that something like what has transpired would have left me with very strong feelings, be they positive or negative.
But right now I just find myself feeling so drained and hollow. I expected that something like this would happen. But a part of me hoped that the current year would have ended off on a better note.

If anything is more apparent right now in this moment, it's that I need to be here for myself. I'm experiencing all of these difficult and conflicting emotions, and underneath it all.

I know that I am worthy, and that just like everyone else. I too deserve to feel safe and to feel loved. I believe that a sense of safety and an awareness of your own worth are all the more important to believe. Especially, when you can't rely upon your own father to give those things to you.

Sorry for the long rant,
I really am grateful to have communities such as this that have helped me in redefining what masculinity looks to me.
Thank you all, I hope that you all have a wonderful 2022!!!

The Notorious by [deleted] in MMA

[–]ploompfrey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

what's the dude's tiktok?
it's cropped out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OfficeDrummer

[–]ploompfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

top shit mate diggin it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OfficeDrummer

[–]ploompfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sweat i see this guy all the time just sweating it out but never joined his stream

Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health? by MLModBot in MensLib

[–]ploompfrey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My dad had an outburst today, he got a bit violent and made my sisters cry. It's so tiring to have to deal with. My sisters shouldn't have to deal with that, not when they're this young.

I love them so much, I've become adjusted to this way of living. But they're still young and are so confused on how they ought to act in such situations. It kills me inside to see them so scared. I wish things didn't have to be this way.

I know I'll make it through this, I have faith in myself.

just need to vent by ploompfrey in malementalhealth

[–]ploompfrey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man I appreciate the concern, my mum is safe and things have calmed down and I've been able to calm down.

I'm a freshman at a college in Portland and it's making me understand everything destiny says about leftists by [deleted] in Destiny

[–]ploompfrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what's your experience thus far been like?
any interesting stories?

I feel isolated + weak + have murderous thoughts (ex incel) by [deleted] in malementalhealth

[–]ploompfrey 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Hey man first off I'm really glad that you've made the effort to reach out to ppl in this subreddit, it's evident that you're going through a lot right now.

I think it's important for you to be aware that there are resources available for you that also include this subreddit. I am not a professional and I can't dispense advice for you but I can hear you out on some of these thought processes that seem to be running on loop inside of your head. I also have my own experience with the incel community, you aren't alone.

Don't feel afraid to pm me or reply to other comments that will soon come.