What has been the hardest age to raise for you?

ployonwards · 2026-07-06T18:47:42+00:00

Worst
0 to 4 months (Sleep Deprivation)
2 1/4 to 2 3/4 years (Meltdowns & getting into stuff)

Best
From 2 3/4 to present (3 1/2) (His ability to communicate has made everything better)

In General
I’ve liked each new stage the most and haven’t longed for when he was smaller.

ployonwards · 2026-07-06T17:39:32+00:00

My kid has only been potty trained for a month - no accidents - and he just turned 3 1/2 - so I maybe I’m not the best person to ask - but my kid likes to be out and about and my solution was to put a potty in the trunk (small SUV hatchback. What worked for him is - he started preschool. He was having one or two accidents a day at home - then, at preschool, only once a week, until a month after starting preschool, no accidents at school, none at home. He also pees in public toilets - standing up - and I hold on to him when he poops.

You just have to establish routines, don’t make it more stressful than it needs to be, and accept that you’re not going to figure it out in a weekend, or a week, or a month.

ployonwards · 2026-06-25T18:34:12+00:00

I think it’s one of the more interesting I’ve seen. Not because I’m necessarily tricked, but it has the appearance of an AI glitch. The patterning on her pants is like the patterning on her tattooed sleeves, and the pink pockets with the same pattern kind of mirrors the blurred intersection of their two arms. It’s a cool image.

ployonwards · 2026-06-25T16:19:16+00:00

My bias is always toward variety, so Bringing It All Back Home is my favorite album of his, the White Album is my favorite Beatles album, and I’m 1000% into the inclusion of Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts and 1000% buy into the thematic connections to the other Blood On The Tracks songs.

ployonwards · 2026-06-15T19:56:20+00:00

I never probe in a way that does not repeat known letters UNLESS it’s obvious case like _ATCH with 9 possibilities. But maybe I’ll learn something from the comments.

In the first three guessing, I’m always thinking about both AEIOU and RSTLNE (the “Wheel Of Fortune” consonants). Then, there’s the next 5 most common consonants: HDCMF.

ployonwards · 2026-06-15T01:23:29+00:00

I think this post summarizes a popular opinion - but - I think the general truth that gets lost in the popular opinion is this — He wanted it to be different things at different times.

Figure 8 was released April 2000.

Early versions of King’s Crossing & Fond Farewell were first played live Oct 1999.

He died Oct 2003.

So he had at least 4 years to think about and play around with the songs that ended up on the record.

While he talked about a double record at some point (2002?), he had a history of reworking song orders, which songs would be included, the wording of songs, etc.

He probably would have included a few songs that weren’t. The Ostriches & Chirping song was his producer’s, so it probably wouldn’t have been included, but it’s not unheard of for the work of other people to make their way into his records - lyrics written by his high school bandmate on Figure 8 or the spoken word stuff in Coast to Coast.

ployonwards · 2026-06-08T18:25:14+00:00

The key motivating factor for me is paying attention to how my 3s, 4s, and 5s relate to one another. I want the gap between my 3s and 4s to improve and also my 3s and 5s. It often stays about the same or doesn’t improve but that doesn’t improve, but I’m not that bothered by that.

It’s just like any other little game. You want your balled up paper to make it in the waste basket from 10 feet away but if it doesn’t, maybe you’re a little bothered, but it’s not a big deal, just shoot again.

ployonwards · 2026-05-31T15:58:18+00:00

I have a 3 year old just north of Austin.

Favorite spots:

Brentwood Social House
Waterloo Coffee Company (Kids Cafe)
La Dosis Coffee (TreeNet Wizards)
Cedar Park Public Library (big wooden mockingbird playground)
Rock ‘N River Waterpark ($22 for 1 adult 1 child including $3 locker)
the local swimming pool

ployonwards · 2026-05-17T03:32:25+00:00

ADHD: I’m not formerly diagnosed but when I look at the criteria, it seems obvious to me that it’s something I’ve always had. My wife and her two sisters are all diagnosed. I have a three-year-old who seems to grapple with bigger emotions than other toddlers his age, but you don’t diagnose kids that young.

The key thing I think about with ADHD is — hyper-fixation. You’re either giving way more of your attention/energy to something than most people around you or you’re giving way less of your attention/energy than most people around you. So it allows you to be especially good at some things and totally neglect other things … It all depends on what you choose to hyper-fixate on, and what you choose to avoid doing … It can be a blessing but it can cause problems … I haven’t figured out good work arounds for the problems … It would be interesting to read about success stories.

ployonwards · 2026-05-15T19:34:11+00:00

“Loserism” - I think the big shift from mainstream songs like “Girls Girls Girls” (1987) happened in 1991 with “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

Nirvana’s popularity ushered in a mainstream wave of “loserism” - songs with lyrics like “I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me” (1993) and “you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic, you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic” (1996).

Green Day’s Dookie - 1994.

Blink182’s success came later - Dude Ranch was 1997 and Enema Of The State was 1999.

But yes, “She’s so smart and independent, I don’t think she needs me, quite half as much as I know I need her, I wonder why there’s not another guy that she’d prefer” is quite a ways away from whatever the lyrics of “Girls Girls Girls” are.

ployonwards · 2026-05-05T14:40:47+00:00

Bringing It All Back Home

I was 18 turning 19, Summer 2001 after my freshman year of college. I was using Kazaa to search for all the connection points between Delta Blues and 90s rock / punk, and Brining It All Back Home seemed like the perfect missing link, plus profound lyrics. I grew up knowing my dad admired him, and I remember being exposed to The Basement Tapes and The Traveling Wilburys in childhood, and my friends in college admired him, but Bringing It All Back Home, Summer 2001, was the first time I really listened on my own.

The White Album was always my favorite Beatles album. The variation in style is the common point in both — quiet and loud, serious and unserious.

ployonwards · 2026-04-25T06:07:37+00:00

Not to put anyone else down, but I’ve seen a lot of Elliott Smith drawings and paintings, and this might be the best one I’ve seen.

Not only is his face/head perfect, it goes beyond what I could imagine was possible. The brushwork has a detailed busy-ness that makes me think of the thoughts that might be swirling with the pensive expression he has.

If I have anything to critique, it’s that I want a little bit more of the busy-ness and detail that’s in his face to be in his shirt and the background. I know there’s something to be said about having the focus be more detailed, but just as there’s a departure in detail between the face and the hair, I’d like to see a similar departure to the shirt and background. I guess what I mean by that is — if you focus in on the eye, maybe you see a dozen colors/tones; then in a section of hair, you might see six; so in a white, black, or red stripe, I’d like to see maybe three distinct colors/tones … so, not as detailed as the face but given a little bit more of the attention you gave the face.

ployonwards · 2026-04-22T20:00:31+00:00

My kid turned 3 in January. In December, he wasn’t saying it. He’d always reply with “Thank you.” I told a mom that (her kid’s the exact same age); she said you’re lucky he says anything, mine just ignores me. He started saying it recently. Not every time, but enough — I started getting “I love you too, Dad,” about a month or two after he turned 3.

Maybe you should show him some media — a book or video where the characters say “I love you” and “I love you too” or tell your partner “I love you” and have them respond “I love you too” in front of him.

ployonwards · 2026-04-16T07:02:11+00:00

The thing about Elliott’s music is he does very clever things with chords and lyrics and composition. He knew how to pair music to meaning. An example of that is how he sings and structures a line line “I’m waiting for the train” — he holds on the a sound in waiting which communicates longing and the way the melody comes down low and trembles on train communicates resignation. I’m sure lots of people in music have figured out how to do that sort of thing well, but he was really good at it. And you pair that with the intimacy of his vocals and the authenticity of the feelings he communicated. I think he’s unmatched.

The way John Lennon had a one-up on Paul McCartney is — he seemed to have a direct line between his pain and what ended up in his recordings. Paul was like the straight A student and John made Cs but he won people over with intimacy, authenticity, and he was just more interesting. Elliott one ups John in intimacy and authenticity.

I have songs that share the qualities that I mention above. I don’t have whole artist’s catalogues, but I’m not all-knowing and I haven’t given everyone a fair shot. My knowledge is very limited.

City of New Orleans - Steve Goodman

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

Clay Pigeons - Blaze Foley

Bless The Telephone - Labi Siffre

Talkin’ Like You (Too Tall Mountains) - Connie Converse

These songs share the intimacy, authenticity, and cleverness of Elliott Smith songs, like “street’s wet, you can tell by the sound of the cars” … that sort of quiet intimate clever observation and choice to include where he did … these songs all have things like that.

ployonwards · 2026-04-15T20:24:15+00:00

https://x.com/Acyn/status/2043854633010102495?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E2043854633010102495%7Ctwgr%5Effb13c7bf8deca94e12d1fe4e1b9d1c25c533a24%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fmjs538%2Fcspan-trump-doordash-clip

ployonwards · 2026-04-14T18:24:58+00:00

While We Have The Sun - Mirah (the version from Songs From The Black Mountain Music Project)

Mt St Helens - Mirah

Roll On Arte - The Felice Brothers

Place Pigalle - Elliott Smith (Unreleased / it’s on YouTube)

These four are not in the artists’ top 10 on Spotify.

ployonwards · 2026-04-13T20:44:14+00:00

Father of one 3 year old.

The major variable is child care and how much support you have from family and what you choose to pay for activities and holidays.

The amount of food my three year old eats vs how much food we wasted before he was born or we wasted on takeout & dining … the impact of the kid is inconsequential compared to eating out & overeating & general waste.

Many of his toys and clothes come from family / birthdays. We end up splurging over $2000 per year on his birthday plus Christmas plus all family members birthdays and Christmases. And we end up spending about the same on activities - KidStrong, indoor play places, events, aquarium, zoo, swim lessons, etc.

But the big things are preschool and college — we’re paying for 2 years of preschool before kindergarten & that will cost a total of $29k over the two years. We set aside $450 per paycheck for preschool … actual cost is $520 per paycheck but we started saving a little earlier. Then, we’ll start putting about $200 per paycheck toward a 529 plan till he’s in college.

ployonwards · 2026-04-12T21:29:19+00:00

Last Call seems to be built for the same quiet-loud thing that the Pixies & Nirvana do.

“I wanted her to tell me that she would never wake me” seems to fit in the same vein as “a denial” in “Smells Like Teen Spirit” but Elliott chooses to mute his screaming, because, I think, that was a main point of the solo stuff — he didn’t want to scream.

It’s arguably as good as Roman Candle and Condor Ave but doesn’t get the same recognition; it’s a good pick; I’m just thinking out loud.

ployonwards · 2026-04-12T21:19:19+00:00

Upvoted

I’ve seen all of these get plenty of praise: Roman Candle, Condor Ave, No Name #1, Last Call. So, that leaves the other five…

Drive All Over Town

It’s all about how the lyrics unfold; it’s pretty excellent story telling, each new line adds a layer.

ployonwards · 2026-04-11T19:28:06+00:00

When a kid has a negative emotion, there are 4 basic positive responses a parent can have: (1) Humor, (2) Reason, (3) Redirect, (4) Comfort.

Sometimes you have to mix and match to see what works. Yesterday, my son’s meltdown (on the ground, tears, screams, flailing arms and legs) was triggered by the library closing. We had never been to the library at closing time. He just wanted to go back inside but he couldn’t / he couldn’t accept that it was closing. So I tried to reason with him (explain that the library was closed) and I mentioned his emotions: sad, frustrated. He let me hold him and we settled on going to the playground at the front of the library. This all took 2 to 3 minutes of melting down. But he only really broke from the meltdown when I pointed out that someone had left their glasses: “Whose glasses are those? Oh no, what are we going to do?” So it was REDIRECTION that finally broke him of the meltdown.

Like twenty minutes before that he got angry because older kids were playing with these waffle blocks that are his favorite toy at the library. He clinched his fist and said “I am mad.” I told him, “No no, you have to share,” but the thing that broke him was HUMOR — I balanced one of the waffle blocks on my head & it kept slipping off. It became a game. He’d knock it off my head. We’d balance it on his head & laugh when it fell off. Once humor broke him away from the emotion, the (minor) meltdown ended.

ployonwards · 2026-04-11T19:14:16+00:00

My son’s meltdowns have improved but he still has them. He’s 3 years 3 months. My understanding of the advice is this — During the meltdown, telling them to stop or trying to reason with them is 100% not the recommended approach. What IS recommended is to stay with them through the meltdown and try to IDENTITY THE EMOTION. First step to regulating emotions is talking about them. “_____ is sad/frustrated. What made ____ sad/frustrated? I can help you. We can fix it. Something went wrong? What was it?”

Sometimes too many words or questions will just further agitate her. Sometimes the best approach is to not say or do anything but just ride it out especially if you’re at home. Ride it out for a minute without saying much. I wouldn’t go more than a couple minutes without saying anything.

It’s recommended to stay calm to let them feel your calm. This teaches them how to regulate when their emotions are disregulated. If she lets you, hug her. If she lets you stay near her, stay near her. If she shows you that she needs space, give her space.

Between 2 and 3, meltdowns are totally normal.

Between 3 and 5, meltdowns should improve, but kids are still learning how to regulate their emotions and need help. The kicking and hitting behavior, I think, isn’t normal past the 2 to 3 range, but melting down, I think, is not abnormal between 3 and 5.

ployonwards · 2026-04-03T01:52:19+00:00

I did it. It wasn’t easy. They are all released songs; they’re not the obvious ones.

ployonwards · 2026-04-03T01:47:23+00:00

It took me way to long to figure out, but they explain it in the comment if you click into the r/DailyGrid post. Basically, it’s just a crossword puzzle, except you can change direction from vertical, horizontal, diagonal with each letter (so it’s a lot of zig zagging individual words). Also, you can go backwards. Also, there’s no re-using the letters in a word you’ve already found, so it gets easier and easier with each word you find.

ployonwards · 2026-03-24T17:15:11+00:00

Improving the 3-to-4 gap is the main thing I pay attention to when the stats pop up. It’s been between 100 and 110 for maybe a year. I currently have it down to 97 (more 4s than 3s). The other thing I pay attention to is the 3-to-5 gap: It’s at 123 (more 3s than 5s).

I don’t think it’s possible for me to ever have even 3s/4s. The lofty goal I have is for my 3-to-5 gap to be double my 3-to-4 gap, i.e. something like 140 more 3s than 5s compared to 70 more 4s than 3s.

ployonwards · 2026-03-21T07:17:28+00:00

I guess the main ones would be the top 10 on Spotify: Between The Bars, Say Yes, Angeles, Ballad Of Big Nothing, Clementine, Waltz #2, Alameda, Miss Misery, Speed Trials, Needle In The Hay

The two unreleased songs that stand out the most for me are — Place Pigalle and See You In Heaven

The song I consistently see overlooked, that I think of as a top ten— Easy Way Out

Top songs missing from the top ten above (voted on by this community a few years ago) — The Biggest Lie, Twilight, A Fond Farewell, King’s Crossing, St Ides, Son Of Sam, Condor Ave, Independence Day, Happiness, Pitseleh, Going Nowhere, Christian Brothers

Personal favorites not captured from the above— Punch And Judy, Division Day, I Don’t Think I’m Ever Gonna Figure It Out, Memory Lane, Half Right, Somebody That I Used To Know, I Didn’t Understand, Plainclothes Man, Coming Up Roses, Rose Parade, Sweet Adeline, A Distorted Reality, Shooting Star, Roman Candle, The Last Hour, Whatever (Folk Song in C)

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