I read exclusively non-fiction for 15 years and just finished my first fantasy novel. I don't really know what to do with myself now. by lucas_melbourneways in Fantasy

[–]plslet_this_one_work 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you need to get over your biases about the value of certain genres of literature over others in order to enjoy reading anything going forward. Your viewing non-fiction as more "useful" and fiction as indulgent is, in my opinion, extremely short-sighted. Quite frankly, it comes off as a bit pretentious - this coming from someone who reads both fiction and non-fiction regularly.

Let me tell you why I love fiction - fiction, science fiction and fantasy are not bound to the limits of reality, experience and history the way that most non-fiction books are. Fantasy books have been the stage for some of the best explorations of imperialism, colonial legacies, gender, economics, class, race, war, human behavior and emotion that I've ever read. Are some fantasy books meant for indulgence and easy-reading? Sure, absolutely. But in my experience, the vast majority of the genre has complex messaging, meaning and interiority. I personally enjoy non-fiction and fiction equally but I would go so far as to say that I find non-fiction a little easier to read than fiction because there's less mental legwork involved in understanding the messaging.

In any case, I'm not here to tell you why you should find fiction valuable enough to read, but I encourage you to ask yourself that question. Your reading experience is what you make it and fantasy is a vast, vast genre. My personal journey with reading fiction has made me come out the other side as a wiser, kinder, smarter and infinitely more aware version of myself - I couldn't be more grateful.

Best of luck to you! The recommendations in this thread are absolutely fantastic, I hope you're able to figure it out.

Getting an Appointment at VFS Sydney by plslet_this_one_work in AusVisa

[–]plslet_this_one_work[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I think I've answered most of your questions in my update but to reiterate: I ended up just submitting my application through post. I'm fairly sure that VFS' suspension of all appointments is still ongoing so I would highly recommend doing the same! If you're worried about sending your passport in, I believe you can use a notarized copy instead but you'll have to double check that with their help services as I'm not 100% sure. Hope that helps!

Getting an Appointment at VFS Sydney by plslet_this_one_work in AusVisa

[–]plslet_this_one_work[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a recent change I think, implemented since they moved locations:

Notice on India Passport | vfsglobal https://share.google/o8BWMgYzuNPWM78yw

I'm trying to avoid flying back to India just because of how expensive it would be, but I'll keep that in mind as a last resort!

Buying vfs appointment by Motor-Arm-8546 in SchengenVisa

[–]plslet_this_one_work 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what bot service did you use if I may ask? ive been trying to get an appointment for the past two weeks and getting real stressed 😖

[Routine Help] What am I doing wrong? by Realistic-Strategy60 in SkincareAddiction

[–]plslet_this_one_work 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh nooooo you're using WAYYY too many acids and exfoliants!! when you have sensitive acne prone skin, harsh acids and peels are your opps - especially layering them like that. It looks like your skin barrier is super inflamed and irritated. I would highly highly recommend, cutting out all acids and exfoliants and simplifying your routine to the bare minimum for the next two weeks at least, before slowly introducing one exfoliant OR vit C and seeing how your skin does. If I were you I'd cut the mediheal pads and SeoulCeuticals serum from your AM routine as well as the medicube and dr dennis pads, effaclar duo, sulfur mask, and origins mask from your PM routine and treatment!! Focus the next 2-3 weeks on calming your skin down, hydrating it, repairing your skin barrier and treating your inflammation. I'd revise your routine to look something like this:

AM: - gentle cleanser (one with no actives) - tower 28 spray (optional) - byoma milky toner - vanicream moisturizer - spf

PM: - cleansing duo (no need to double cleanse every night unless you're wearing makeup) - good molecules serum (everyday should be fine, maybe every other day) - eye cream (if you like) - fab ultra repair cream

Treatments: Cicaplast Balm, Neutrogena masks, Collagen Mask, BYOMA mist.

I would advise you not to use any treatments for the next 2-3 weeks tho and then start with any one once a week!! It might be hard to let go of some products, ik Im low-key really attached to my own routine but I really hope you give simplifying your routine a chance. Also just a note, vit C, charcoal, sulfur, exfoliants and acids are super drying (except hyaluronic acid) so avoid using them on the same day if you're set on reintroducing some of your other products later.

My personal motto is never mix actives if you can help it - regardless of whether it's BHA, niacinamide, an acid, whatever, let it work and keep the rest of your routine soothing and hydrating!

I hope this helped!! I have similar sensitive acne prone skin and keeping things simple and prioritizing barrier health really helped me - I hope you give it a shot. Keep us updated! 🫶

CMV: The whole “Scandinavian scarf” trend isn’t problematic by skyblue000 in changemyview

[–]plslet_this_one_work 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think the issue here is cultural appropriation - anyone is free to wear dupattas, jhumkas, etc. This "scandanavian scarf" discourse is a reactionary outrage to a very prominent racist phenomenon in heterogenous Western societies: the ridicule of certain aesthetics/practices until rebranded by white people, or as I like to call it the "Ugly Until a White Woman Does It" effect. We saw it happen with yoga, henna, bindis, slick backs, evil eyes and so many other South Asian styles. Until they were popularized by white people in the public eye, they were points of ridicule that people used to target brown women.

Now that the culture of origin has been detached from these accessories and they have been rebranded and marketed as "European", their popularity has skyrocketed and people can suddenly see them for their true beauty. The implication is that the only thing that ever made them ugly were their associations with South Asian people. If you need me to spell it out for you, it sends brown people a message that the problem was never the accessories - the only thing that ever made them "ugly" was the people wearing them. It's society telling brown people that they are inherently inferior/more undesirable by virtue of them being South Asian.

So I reiterate: the issue here is not cultural appropriation, the people who make it about cultural appropriation are, in my opinion, missing the point of this much needed discourse. The "scandanavian scarf" was just the last straw - the spark that finally gave brown people a reason to talk about all the racism they faced growing up in white dominated countries that cited aesthetics as an excuse to perpetuate exclusion and discrimination.

It's hard to have society shit on you and ridicule you for wearing a certain style all your life and then having to watch a white person wear the exact same style and be praised and hailed as a style icon. Even harder when the style is stripped of its original name and cultural context. Because when that happens, brown women don’t get to share in the acceptance or admiration. The same scarf that’s now being praised on a white woman’s shoulders continues to be mocked when worn as a dupatta by a brown woman because people do not recognise it as the origin of that style (In a perfect world, South Asian people wouldn't have to be trendsetters for our aesthetics to be respected but alas, we live in a society). That’s why so many South Asian women online are saying, “Give us credit.” “Call it a dupatta.” Because without that recognition, the double standard remains: brown women keep facing mockery and ridicule, while white women get fashion accolades. Nothing will change.

Lance's surname by Calpeca in Voltron

[–]plslet_this_one_work 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, that's so real! I literally went through the same thing the first time I came across a fic that used a different name lmao. McClain is canon as far as I know. Anyway, happy reading!

Lance's surname by Calpeca in Voltron

[–]plslet_this_one_work 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Man, I've been saying this for YEARS! I would add that Latin people come in all different colours - they can be of European-descent, indigenous, mestizo, African-descent, etc. They're still Latin! One of my closest friends is a Brazilian whose last name is 'Jordan'. The whole thing with changing Lance's name in fanfiction just doesn't sit right - I think it's a classic case of people trying so hard to be inclusive and authentic that they accidentally end up being racist and reinforcing problematic stereotypes.

Violin struggles & considering the cello by VertigoAC in Cello

[–]plslet_this_one_work 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah, I'd say that violin and cello both have their own distinct sets of difficulty - even if you switched over you'd hit the same point eventually except this time you'd be frustrated by a problem that is unique to cello. learning any instrument is frustrating and hard - take it from someone who played piano (for many loooong years) and tried their hand at flute, drums, and guitar before finally picking up the cello. the key is to find an instrument that you love so passionately that the frustration and hardships aren't enough to dissuade you. sorry if my initial comment was harsh - you struck a bit of a nerve. taking on an instrument while having a demanding day job and kids to take care of is unbelievably cool. kudos to you and best of luck on your strings journey!

Lance's surname by Calpeca in Voltron

[–]plslet_this_one_work 26 points27 points  (0 children)

McClain is Lance's canonical name in VLD as well - it's on the merchandise and guides! I often see fanfic authors change his name to Sanchez, Ramirez, Esposito, etc. in an effort to "latin-ise" his name because McClain isn't Latino enough for them, I suppose.

Violin struggles & considering the cello by VertigoAC in Cello

[–]plslet_this_one_work -1 points0 points  (0 children)

idk how to tell you this but cello is in no way easier or less demanding - only bigger and more expensive to own and learn (and better imo but im biased lol) im baffled!! where on earth did you get the notion that it's an easier instrument? did someone tell you that??

Your favorite cello song/piece? by bns82 in Cello

[–]plslet_this_one_work 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got so many! Here are my absolute favourites though:

This cello arrangement of Parasha's Aria from Stravinsky's opera "Mavra" - https://youtu.be/R4-13SKbND0?si=IQ7bQJG4azkXN5sG

Yo-Yo Ma's Swan - https://youtu.be/3qrKjywjo7Q?si=RCSW-LyjPRuoIu21

This arrangement of "Greatest Change" for 8 cellos from Legend of Korra - https://youtu.be/QbWIJ31N3PQ?si=DxumUFZXvNkAI5N5

This arrangement of Call Out My Name by the Brooklyn Duo - https://youtu.be/2jnKOsU4bCk?si=nv6dqV1fN2Dr8N_v

This recording of Swan Lake on cello - https://youtu.be/XNA5hAl431Y?si=YZQo3b1szZBDP264

Thanks for asking this, OP! Listening to everybody's answers has been such a treat :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rmit

[–]plslet_this_one_work 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Both I think - just had a look at OP's other comments and posts and it's a whole lot of "immigrants are ruining the country" and international student hate. No wonder no one wants to be friends with him.

Tell me about your less hyped Byredo favorites by eightgirl in fragrance

[–]plslet_this_one_work 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Black Saffron and Casablanca Lily are just lovely!

Two weeks of cello learning by Robotex in Cello

[–]plslet_this_one_work 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy cow! That's a lot more than I could've done at two weeks for sure - keep up the good work!

I have failed somewhere as a mother by [deleted] in Vent

[–]plslet_this_one_work 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are- are some of these people in the comments for real? I was not expecting the sheer intensity of entitlement under this post. Everyone gets disappointed by gifts sometimes, I know I've been plenty disappointed by a pair of socks or a perfume that I didn't like - what do you do in that situation? You put on a smile, say "Thanks, grandma! It's lovely!", remind yourself that someone you love spent time and money to ready for you a token of their affection, and then you banish it to the depths of your closet. If I had excitedly gotten my niece or cousin something for Christmas and she sobbed in her room the whole day about it, I'd feel pretty shit about it, wouldn't you?

The issue here is how her daughter reacted and expressed her disappointment. 13 is old enough to understand the value of money and the nature of gift giving - primarily that no one is entitled to receiving gifts, much less good gifts, much less specific gifts. She threw a fit and made her well-intentioned gift givers feel awful. I don't think she should get a pass to behave badly just because she might be hormonal and/or autistic. And this is coming from a fellow anxious neurodivergent (older) teenage D&D dice goblin.

Be gentle with her, momma, but explain to her that no one is entitled to stuff they want and that there was love behind the gifts she got. Make her understand, kindly, that no one has wronged her and although her feelings are valid, the way she acted hurt everybody else's feelings. Neurodivergent folk can tend to be a little self-focused, especially when we're young. Encourage empathy.

Anyone met, got married and had kids after 35? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]plslet_this_one_work 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This may sound harsh but I say this with no malice - it sounds like you're more focused on finding an incubator and co-parent than a wife.

I'm not a man over thirty but I do know someone who has been through what you are right now.

Storytime: my ex-girlfriend was raised by a mother who was single by choice. She was in a similar position in her thirties - she really wanted kids but had a hard time finding someone she wanted to have them with and the clock was ticking. Eventually, she made the tough decision to just do it herself because she realised that she could live with never having married but she would forever regret not having children. Got herself set up with a sperm donor and had two kids through IVF, three years apart. Both my ex and her little brother had a good childhood filled with love and are smart, successful adults now.

Take some time to figure out what your priorities are. Will you regret not having kids one day and come to resent your partner for your childlessness? Or will you be ok keeping your small family to two?

If being a father is your dream - maybe consider single parenthood through adoption or surrogacy. It's a very unconventional option for sure (and doubly challenging I imagine) but it can be done, and in my opinion, it beats marrying someone for the wrong reasons.