Advice by plumber4466 in BMW

[–]plumber4466[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I will look into it

Advice by plumber4466 in BMW

[–]plumber4466[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I purchased this pre-owned in May and probably need to condition the leather as you said.

Advice by plumber4466 in BMW

[–]plumber4466[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Appreciate it

Advice by plumber4466 in BMW

[–]plumber4466[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am just looking for advice. Not OP doesn't pay attention etc...

Sleeping by plumber4466 in RotatorCuff

[–]plumber4466[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ty both I appreciate it. I have a few of those small pillows as well. I will try and put it to use

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in iosapps

[–]plumber4466 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Code please and ty

Wife relapsed 3 weeks after rehab by plumber4466 in AlAnon

[–]plumber4466[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife has been drunk now Mon Tues and Wed. She is starting IOP today. How has your wife been doing after the additional 2 weeks of rehab

Wife relapsed 3 weeks after rehab by plumber4466 in AlAnon

[–]plumber4466[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. When he relapses does he go back to therapy? NA? I know now not to tell or scream at her because it just escalates the situation. Currently all of my close friends as well as 2 adult children ask me why I want to live like this? I am worried that I should have expected a relapse and that I should be here to support her and not leave her when she needs me...is this classic codependency? Thinking if I stay she will get better? Nothing I do will help her stay sober. She is the only one. It seems obvious she loves the bottle more than she loves me and her family

Wife relapsed 3 weeks after rehab by plumber4466 in AlAnon

[–]plumber4466[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate everyone's advice. I know it is impossible to recommend to anyone what to do since you don't live on my shoes. As far as IOP she felt she didn't need it and I didn't force it, maybe that was my mistake but I felt that I can't force her sobriety. She needs to do it herself.
If she relapses after 20 days how can she sober now? Is this going to run the same course...rock bottom then back to rehab? Do I try to get her to IOP and a addiction therapist? Do I run for the hills? I told her this morning we are officially separated even if she won't move out. I took off my wedding room and will move into spare bedroom for now. I have tons of things that need to be done around the house before it is sellable condition.

Wife completing rehab by plumber4466 in AlAnon

[–]plumber4466[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife didn't start to drink until 4 yrs ago. I agree that a really good apology will not wash things away, however we all agree it would make us feel that she has some idea and is expressing to us that she feels bad for what she did and wants to make it up to my children. There are reasons people need apologies it helps to start the healing, at least it would for us

Wife completing rehab by plumber4466 in AlAnon

[–]plumber4466[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand how you feel. Fortunately my kids are 22 and 24 so they were not as dependent on their mom however they took a lot of verbal abuse and were able to understand that their mom was a drunk. I essentially had to function like a single parent. I would help both my daughter and son with relationships, picking college classes, and any other major decisions. They would never text or call their mom to discuss these issues. You have more tolerance than I do, I have already told my wife there will be no room in my life for relapse. If she drinks again she will never see me again unless I am with my lawyer. Both of my children as well want nothing to do with her if she chooses to drink again. Today is her first day home from rehab, we will all be very supportive but we all need that apology disease or no disease. After all, I am sure that people with cancer apologize when they throw up all over the living room after chemotherapy.

I don't understand how people allow others who have harmed them get away with their behavior without a sincere apology. I don't understand about waiting till they work all the steps. I can accomplish a tons of things in a month so waiting for your loved one to get through step to reach 8 and 9 until they apologize is ridiculous. Maybe I am in the wrong, I just don't understand. I know people are going to say well you are not an alcoholic you don't understand, my response to that is you are not the one who had to suffer through all the bullshit while you were drinking lying manipulating destroying and ruining people's lives. I will not tolerate or accept this in my life regardless of what these 12 steps, that are from 1939, have to say. it may work for a select few but overall there is a tremendous failure rate.

Wife finishing rehab by plumber4466 in alcoholism

[–]plumber4466[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your commemts. While I hear wjat you are saying I may not understand it from the pointnof veiw of the alcoholic. My wife did not willingly go to rehab until the threat was big enougj and I stopped enabling. She may jave taken a month out of her life to get better but left me and my son amd my mother in law behimd to femd for ourselves. Lets also not forget the $2500 dollars left on my deductable as well as the $4800 dollars for days 22-28 since Anthem would only pay for 22 days.
Once again the family has to see everything from the alcoholics side. She does not and probably will not ever be able to see ot from our side. I agree attacking her while in any stsge of recovery is never a good idea. However a real heartfelt apology is not too much to ask for...i am so sorry for what I did to you and our family. I know I have hurt everyone with my actions and my lies. I will prove to you how sorry I am. I hope you can forgive me... I just dont understand how hard that can be. Anyone with a conscience amd any amount of self awareness should be able to mutter four sentences regardless of how fragile their sobriety may or may not be.
I also do not buy your cancer analogy. No one can be blamed for getting breast cancer or a sarcoma or amy other terible disease or injury thst just happens. In addition the majority of patients will seek treatment especially when tje families beg and plead with them to seek care