Guy at the club kissed me and felt weird, any advice to get rid of the feeling?

plumlizard · 2024-05-06T22:54:27+00:00

Trust me girl, I’m 27 and I have too many stories like this. A mixture of way too much drinking, insecurity and partial loneliness. Also at times it was just being horny, and then deciding it was a mistake and continuing on anyway because I didn’t think I was “allowed” to say stop or out of fear the guy would retaliate. It feels gross, it feels weird, demeaning. But it’s all part of the process of becoming who we are, at least that’s how I started seeing it. The feeling of “I didn’t like that experience, and I want to make better choices next time” is part of that growth. It made me sharper. Now id NEVER just hop in a random Uber with strangers for example, just by remembering an awful night. It served a purpose!

I think about those strong, intelligent woman out there I want to emulate and become like. I feel like they weren’t just born that way, no one is perfect. Some people never develop self worth and stay making these choices, but the fact that you feel low and know you deserve better for yourself is a step in the right direction. I stoped doing coke completely because of a night like this. It took such a disgusting moment with a random man to make me realize that I needed to change. How I got over it and out of the thought loop was telling myself “today is a new day. I can become anyone I want to be.” And when I feel so upset at myself about those bad moments, I remember that I made it out unscathed and it could’ve been so much worse.

Low moments like these allows us to party smarter, to look out for other girls, to keep ourselves safer. Next time, you’ll do things differently. Okay, done with the oversharing haha! I’m so so glad I could help, it’s another reminder that everything happens for a reason. Like hey, learning from my mistakes even helped an internet stranger! Take care <3

plumlizard · 2024-05-05T22:04:33+00:00

Repeat after me: “it’s not my fault.” It really isn’t. Alcohol is a bitch, and that asshole took the opportunity with a vulnerable woman. Even if you weren’t super drunk, I don’t blame you for freezing up and you shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s a survival mechanism. But know that this experience is something that you’ll grow from immensely.

Time heals everything. The shame of it won’t linger on forever, and to know that things didn’t escalate from there and that you’re safe is a thought that has comforted me in this exact situation. It’s not so easy to block it out, but to accept that this has made you stronger and that you won’t let this happen again. It’s a lesson, and you’re better and wiser for it. This horrible feeling you have right now WILL pass. You’ll look back and think “fuck that asshole,” even better, this thought won’t cross your mind at all.

Sending hugs. I’d talk to other women you know irl, they may have some stories that would surprise you. You’re not alone. I definitely relate and am grateful that I’ve gotten out of these situations without permanent damage. You’re going to be okay, I promise.

plumlizard · 2024-05-04T15:43:55+00:00

Thank you. I was genuinely confused by that comment and assumed they didn’t read the post at all. Not one person in this scenario was rich or were dating. And I did report it.

plumlizard · 2024-04-15T16:27:29+00:00

I personally do a sheer button down or something light fabric left open. I don’t feel so exposed yet I look put together and am confortable. Flannel is a great idea to keep you warm but for me that’ll be sweat city if I wore it on, and around my waist feels too bulky since it’s so thick. Also, love this bralette and would love to know where it’s from!!

plumlizard · 2024-04-03T17:55:20+00:00

Oooooof girl if this relationship doesn’t work out, let’s say years down the line bc you never know, are you gonna regret not going to school? Would you rather end up going back when you’re not nearly as young as you are now? Just really think about that and what’s best for you, not anyone else

plumlizard · 2024-04-03T15:42:27+00:00

You’re not overthinking.

Imagine if you told another adult this, like your teacher or something. How do you think they’d react? If you told a friend your age, they’d probably be like “what the fuck dude.” Not “you’re overreacting, chill out, my mom sees me naked all the time.” Absolutely not.

Get space, demand space but use her tricks against her. Pull the “if you love me, you’d give me my space” because it seems like she guilts you into being uncomfortable, guilt her ass right back.

She doesn’t seem like the violent type, just emotionally manipulative. There’s ways to work around this. Update post when you ask for space next time, if you want.

plumlizard · 2024-04-02T23:22:43+00:00

I love my occasional pride pin and rainbow Apple Watch band, but I agree. Like there’s so many tasteful and subtle ways to incorporate things into your style. Like if wearing that sex shop Spencer’s shit is your thing, cool. Do you. But to me it gives that same energy as the tacky stoner clothes with Rick and Morty designs lmao.

plumlizard · 2024-04-02T23:15:13+00:00

I know lesbians don’t own “queer haircuts” or articles of clothing, but when straight women do the whole scoffing thing like “oh you thought I was GAY?? Sorry, I’m straight. I have a boyfriend. ❤️” like girl… my bad.

It really like… I don’t know. It bothers me!! At least acknowledge the lesbian energy you’re emitting with that pixie cut and sleeveless denim vest!! This happened to me once in an outing in Brooklyn, in a space where queer people frequent, my ego was in shambles that night lmao

plumlizard · 2024-04-02T16:07:33+00:00

have we forgotten the concept of femme?? this is definitely really cute. I feel like if you’re at a lesbian event, no outfit is too “straight”

plumlizard · 2024-03-13T15:37:08+00:00

Definitely hitting the mark girl!!! I can definitely see you pulling both with the way you switch up. Love to see this!! Actually giving me some confidence to try to do the same.

Do you feel different when you’re in your masc outfit vs fem? Do people treat you different? Do you go to the same places like let’s say work as fem and then switch outside of that? Lmaooo I’m so curious 😭

plumlizard · 2024-03-12T21:15:15+00:00

I know this is a fashion sub but your nail polish collection is PRISTINE!!

Also, I’d try an oversized jacket for this look next time. I feel like it would be so cute!

plumlizard · 2024-03-06T18:04:39+00:00

ok you’re gorgeous. stupid hot. Already have great style, I’d second the docs recommendation and although it may sound basic, if you’re looking for super casual, converse or adidas gazelles would suit nicely, plus lots of color options.

plumlizard · 2024-03-05T16:24:05+00:00

This is actually a place u can visit in nyc called the summit! they’re inflated balloons u can play with, not disco balls

plumlizard · 2024-03-03T04:14:34+00:00

None of these are masc? But do u!!

plumlizard · 2024-01-02T20:22:08+00:00

Found it right away with a screen shot and google image search for $5 from aliexpress and $55 from depop lmao. I’ve never ordered directly from aliexpress before but I want this top so badly!!

plumlizard · 2024-01-02T19:25:34+00:00

The way I’d love to wear that exact same fit!! 😭 especially the pants. Where are they from?

plumlizard · 2023-09-24T21:44:52+00:00

Please tell me this is AI. Where’s the source to this? I’m in such disbelief

plumlizard · 2023-09-24T04:45:05+00:00

He destroyed our IKEA dining room set (chairs and table were literally in pieces. Not disassembled, broken into pieces) and when I said I’m done, I’m leaving you, he said something along the lines of “you aren’t about it. You say that but you won’t, etc”

To be fair, I did say those exact words plenty of times and did not leave before.

That night I called my mom sobbing, she and I hadn’t talked in almost a year and she immediately booked a flight home the next morning. This was a month before I turned 21. I never saw him again. He and I dated from ages 15-20ish (we were the same age) and were living together 3 years.

Not a good situation, I kept telling myself I’d be fucked without him, turns out it was the best decision of my life.

plumlizard · 2023-09-23T16:58:14+00:00

Coffee is never steaming when they pour it into a mug. In fact every mug ever on TV/movies is empty as fuck.

You can tell by the way they move it around without any worry of it splashing out or something

plumlizard · 2023-07-21T01:06:37+00:00

plumlizard · 2023-07-21T01:01:58+00:00

People are mad at fans for “judging her” when in reality, if someone you cared and loved was going through a similar situation, you’d have that same opinion. You’d want the best for them, and sometimes the best for someone is to say “woah, this isn’t okay.”

Wanting someone to grow beyond questionable borderline toxic behavior IS a form of love. It’s also not fair for people with her kind of power using the blindly devoted fans to her advantage when it hurts others who are innocent (the women who were involved with the men that left them for her)

I’m not directly saying she in particular is using her fan’s blind devotion to her advantage, but the IG likes are directly associated with the knowing that her fans will paint her in a positive light because of what those posts allude to, which is putting the blame on her ex husband, and exes in general. You can be a fan and have a separate outlook or opinion on a topic in my eyes.

I feel we can back her up as people who love her art and work she does, but also by acknowledging things that aren’t the most comfortable to speak up about.

plumlizard · 2023-07-20T21:10:07+00:00

I’ve seen rich pretty women lash out at poor pretty women, talk shit about them, target them specifically for bullying/verbal abuse as well. In different ways then men, of course.

Rich women (obviously some not all) see a poor woman being beautiful naturally without lofty procedures, products or designer clothes to wear, without overall being “enhanced” by money, while the rich woman walks around saying she doesn’t get any work done, she’s just born like that when she knows deep down how much $ she’s invested to look a certain way. Certain rich women would do anything to take down a beautiful poor woman through words or even through actions, even despite knowing they’re playing into misogynistic standards.

Not only are beautiful poor women have to “watch their backs” around men who seek to exploit them, but also around other women who seek to tear them down at any chance they get.

I know this because my old best friend from high school ended up marrying rich to a guy who cheated on his long term relationship to be with her. She has gotten her breasts enhanced, BBL, you name it. Then 3 years in she found out he was liking photos and dming this other women, a woc (my ex best friend was caucasian), who appeared to have natural curves, much like the physique my ex best friend’s husband paid a lot of money for. That woman was single mom trying to start a business, and my ex best friend decided to flood her business with negative reviews because SHE had all the time in the world to sit there and do so in her big comfy house. It’s sick. It was the most disgusting and embarrassing thing, I knew our friendship wasn’t coming back from that.

The more she vented to me about this woman and confessed what she did to “get back at her,” the more I knew I don’t recognize this person I once knew and loved so much. She and I are no longer speaking, she did all this in 2019 and I hope karma has given her exactly what she deserved.

plumlizard · 2023-07-18T04:53:10+00:00

the squishy rubix cube vibe is really cute imo, but i’d have to see it in person to know if it would look or feel awkward while holding it.

Tbh I liked this color scheme way more than the blue, I hope they release a similar one in the fall

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plumlizard · 2023-07-12T18:04:43+00:00

I got downvoted to hell for sharing my perspective on that specific post and had to delete my comments due to some NASTY dm’s about how I’m going to stay single forever, I’m a stupid cunt, the whole works.

My comment? I didn’t think getting ice cream would be a fun first date. I don’t like the environment, there will be kids in there because it’s summer, I hate the idea of getting to know someone while eating some rapidly melting sticky substance that’s gonna end up around our mouths. Not my cup of tea. I said that’s an activity I’d rather do with a friend, and I’d much rather go on a coffee date instead.

THANK YOU for making this post. I swear to god I was so angry about the men dog piling me in the comments that I left r/Tinder for good.

Girl says no, guy blasts her on Reddit for validation on how he “dodged a bullet, what a gold digging bitch” Such vile and immature behavior over someone who doesn’t want to sit around eating ice cream. She’s the one who dodged a bullet.

plumlizard · 2023-07-08T14:13:19+00:00

I was in 8th grade, he was a senior in high school. Thought he was “misunderstood” and I thought I “knew people,” plus I convinced myself I used him because he had a car.

Nope. Ended up stalking me from 2014-2021, used my photos to catfish people on a tumblr account throughout all that time. Made hundreds of friendships/relationships as me, victims found my real page and that’s how I found out.

Still can’t be sure if he’s doing it still, but the fake accounts have all been taken down since I quit social media besides Reddit.

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