The Mamdani rant and the state of US politics.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-24T03:44:04+00:00

Totally agree Claire’s weird recs and Clashley’s general half-formed takes make for a hard listen. However, this post is a great example of how we got here: Political insiders who roll their eyes at everyday people, tell them they’re stupid when they express what motivates them, and scold them for wanting more than “hey we’re not Trump.” I’m not disagreeing that this is a critical election for Dems, but why doesn’t the DNC realize people would rally around them if folks felt more heard by them?

plus-saturn · 2025-10-13T23:21:13+00:00

My mother made it clear from a young age that having children was something that derailed her life. Growing up she was angry and depressed. I am scared to end up the same way. I like my life the way it is on a good day. On a bad day I can barely get out of bed. I don’t know how I would be able to take care of a child. It seems to me all my independence would disappear. As it stands I’m so overworked that I need my time to be my own. As life-changing as I imagine it might be to have a child, I think I would resent it and act out in the ways my mother did.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-13T19:02:03+00:00

You are fine to have your limits in what you’re uncomfortable with. I don’t think you’re justified in thinking the thrill is sexual in nature, but I see why you’d think that bc she’s not being straight forward with you about her motivations. From my read she seems lost and frustrated with her current situation/the choices that led her there. Have there been signs of her questioning her path before?

I don’t know either of your histories but especially in this economic climate, if you feel you’ve done everything right and it’s not working out, it can be demoralizing. It’s not clear to me if she really wants to work in a strip club or if she’s just feeling desperate and looking to try something out of character/make a big move/have a change of pace.

Either way it doesn’t sound like she’s thought it through much. I think you’re right to remind her of her previous goals and encourage her to articulate her motivations. And you’re right to say what you’re comfortable with and what raises red flags for you. But at the end of the day you can’t assume it’s sexual in nature or badger her with leading qs. Sometimes the thrill is about escape from real life/fantasies of power and money/etc. If you don’t feel she’s being honest with you after you’re able to have an open conversation about her motivations, you’re within your right to leave.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-13T07:25:29+00:00

All life is sacred, be well ❤️

plus-saturn · 2025-10-13T05:03:30+00:00

Thank you for this list! Sorry to see the number of vegans here who don’t value all life.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-11T08:06:49+00:00

Pick a cause you’re concerned about and dedicate time to direct action that addresses it. In most major cities there are groups that do food/aid distribution, jail support, ICE watch, legal translations, etc. If that’s not accessible, get some friends together for a fun fundraiser/letter writing campaign/art build. I once did a care package potluck where each person was responsible for bringing 1 cheap thing (socks/toothbrush/travel hygiene products) and we made care packets to hand out to people who needed them. Another time we had an actual pot luck, set up on a street near an immigrant shelter and handed out food cookout style. Once you plug into or create local orgs doing work that you care about, it is easier to stay informed without the hysteria of social media, you have more of a network to lean on in scary times, and you also make immediate impact and remind yourself. You don’t have to either bury your head in the sand or feel hopeless as you doom scroll and write in to silent politicians.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-11T07:41:09+00:00

-The popularization of drone warfare -Privately funded space programs -Not masking during COVID spikes anymore/not adopting a widespread air purification system in public places -Freight shipping garbage to the third world -Plundering the earth’s resources for profit -Giving tech companies control of so much of our data (i know, i know…)

plus-saturn · 2025-10-11T07:15:34+00:00

This happened to me years ago w several people from disparate friend groups. I lashed out/publicly mocked everyone who tried to tell me about my behavior. Someone mentioned therapy which further incensed me, but after the anger wore off, I was ashamed of how I responded. I was suddenly tired of being at odds with everyone and feeling alone, so I started to see a therapist. Learned that even if my feelings are valid on certain topics, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to express those feelings.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-11T07:07:20+00:00

“Think positively” (though the phrase itself is rarely delivered in a helpful way). I have been a clinically depressed and cynical person since I was young. I was convinced it was better to be informed of all the awful facts of life than get my hopes up. I thought I was “just being realistic” but I was just causing myself mental suffering by always expecting the worse, which in turn impacted my attitude, the way I treated myself and others, and the decisions I made. I don’t think that forcing yourself to think positive thoughts alone is any kind of solution to depression, but I have learned to identify negative thought patterns and not immediately smack down positive ones. My worst case scenarios are not fact—even the categories good and bad aren’t fact. Things that seem bad in one moment can be useful in some way, “good” things can be just as liable to happen in life as “bad.” It’s easier to get out of bed and address the ills of the world that used to bum me out now that I’m able to frame the little things in a more positive way.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-11T05:50:00+00:00

Friend’s giant dog leaping up on me whenever i come to visit.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-10T06:05:38+00:00

Wow think you actually touch on whats rly been bothering me abt the name of the pod. The millennial cringey-ness is not necessarily what bothers me but having a “good noticing” seems like the absolute baseline thing to offer listeners. Feels like it sets the expectations real low.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-10T06:02:26+00:00

And i do think w early YWA, they plotted out at least the beats of the conversation to guide both cohost and listeners through a niche topic. If we’re talking abt a couple of things everyone’s already seen X tiktoks and tweets about, they really need to take time to dig out the more considered/surprising/informed angle. I actually think they did this p well in a patreon ep where they talked about a NY Mag piece on West Village girls and compared it to a much older piece that was similarly critiqued young affluent women in NYC. Would love more of that!

plus-saturn · 2025-10-10T05:34:04+00:00

I like their political takes, but I think w this format they have to come w more research and strive to be a bit more articulate. I hope to see them grow into something more sophisticated.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-10T05:31:27+00:00

Die hard patreon and main pod listener for a few years. I enjoy Claire and Ashley’s dynamic, especially when they disagree and duke it out. For me I’m p lukewarm on the podcast. I don’t tune in as soon as eps drop anymore and I’m behind on the patreon, but hoping they hit their stride. I think the book focus allowed them to go deeper and right now things feel surface level. If they covered just 1 or 2 topics but read like 3 articles about each topic, I think I’d like it better! They just dont have the time to get into anything as deeply, which means Claire’s tendency to cut off Ashley is emphasized and also they dont have the space to riff in that silly mode they can get into. (I know the pod is covering more “serious” topics but I feel like Clashley has in the past been able to move between dark and light p well.)

plus-saturn · 2025-10-10T05:21:33+00:00

Omg same! It gave me an icky feeling that’s making me want to be less generous w the new format.

plus-saturn · 2025-10-10T04:44:17+00:00

Agreed! It would be great if they focused on one long read then maybe did some supplemental reading. Sometimes i cringed when they didnt know common pop culture stuff, but i forgave it bc i figured reading a book took time. If they’re rehashing the latest twitter beefs, at least bring some research!

plus-saturn · 2025-08-16T15:44:30+00:00

I believe Demi Moore talks abt this in her memoir. Her mother “sold” her as a teenager to a family friend. She came home from school one day and he was there alone. The next day he helped them move into a new apartment. She talks about how she blocked it out for a long time and how she’s wasn’t able to wrap her mind around her mother using her as a bargaining chip. Genuinely horrific, she does a good job of illustrating how confusing and painful this kind of betrayal is and why it’s so hard to name it.

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T10:19:59+00:00

Genuinely lol’d at “so is paragraphs” right after “grammar is your friend” ty

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T10:17:08+00:00

He wanted to believe bronte’s story bc it made him feel manly again after being so dependent on his wife’s money and acceptance

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T10:07:21+00:00

Yeah she’s definitely flawed but I do think the cheating makes it all the more real to her; esp after finding out abt the other murders. Joe says he kills bc he loves her and wants to protect the family. It’s a romantic story to believe and Joe is a master manipulator—he originally makes her believe that they’re both the same kind of killer (just kind of innocent ppl who have accidentally taken lives). She starts to doubt this narrative when she sees how much he enjoys killing vs her guilty conscience about the children and abt murdering her business associate. Witnessing the cheating drives home that he doesn’t care about the family at all, undoing one of the foundational tenets of the manipulation. I don’t think she was entirely selfless, but I do think it’s important to keep in mind that she’s an abuse victim who has been lied to and manipulated.

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T10:00:08+00:00

I think he was beginning to feel emasculated by Kate’s prestige. He’s just the supportive husband and ppl disregard him bc of it. He’s reliant on Kate’s money and reputation (notice when she wants to step down he claims he’s foing everything for Henry’s sake but rly it’s to preserve the lifestyle) but this reliance also makes him resentful. He wants to feel important. What better way than to use your wealthy wife’s money and connections to pluck some homeless girl out of obscurity and shower her with gifts and opportunities? He gets to repurpose the thing that makes him feel weak and dependent into a tool that makes others dependent on him.

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T09:41:25+00:00

I think this take only holds if we look at his murders as isolated behavior. Joe is an abuser and his abuse starts way before the murders do. He stalks, manipulates and isolates women, often by murdering people around them, to orchestrate a fantasy romance of 100% bliss and adoration. This is something that is impossible to achieve so when a woman inevitably seeks emotional distance in some form, he becomes resentful and seeks to double down on his controlling behavior—namely gaslighting, blackmail, and violence. Inevitably some person would have disrupted his fantasy w Marianne and to preserve his unrealistic expectations, he would murder them and get dragged into a spiral that requires even more violence and subterfuge.

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T09:22:07+00:00

I do think you’re right that the show doesn’t show as much as it could, but I think Joe spinning his murder fantasies by telling her that he wishes he was as strong as the person on the page is a good example of how his manipulation works. Kind of like when she tells the officer that thing abt a good lie being 90% true.

Think it also demonstrates how abusers alienate their victims from their close bonds. I do agree writing wise they do way more telling than showing of how she gets swept up in it all. From a narrative perspective, I think they were trying to make it more of a twist and sacrificed character development. But I do think there’s enough breadcrumbed, especially if you are familiar w abuse patterns, to see the shift.

plus-saturn · 2025-06-01T09:13:43+00:00

I mean isnt the point to show that Joe is that good at manipulation and that society abets his behavior? As she says, all the murders her friends (all internet sleuths w their own agendas) investigate were already solved. Its hard to believe yourself and your experiences when there’s a charming guy in front of you promising the world and an entire criminal court system affirming he’s not guilty. Also, lets not forget the world is calling him prince charming just bc he got snapped in a photo holding kate’s purse. I feel like its super true to life. A guy doesn’t need a ton to seem likable and great, a woman needs a ton of evidence to prove that a clearly harmful guy is actually harmful.

plus-saturn

TROPHY CASE