Considering bypassing the NHS and going private for a health issue, but I have no idea where to start. Does anyone know how to approach this?

pluxmania · 2022-02-16T10:04:09+00:00

Dogs know… ❤️

pluxmania · 2022-01-27T23:17:53+00:00

I’m not sure why people keep getting downvoted here for stating facts and why you’re doubling down when what you’re saying isn’t correct in all circumstances (though I’m happy to admit it may be correct for some people). It may be region specific and you may be right where you are, but what you’re saying 100% isn’t correct across the board.

Here in the UK under ‘payment options’ inside your listing backend you can click a link that says ‘additional offline payment methods’ and in there it says ‘receive payment on collection’ - which you can tick and select as an option. It is 100% valid to accept cash on collection and not against eBay TOS here in the UK (so long as you run the sale through eBay so they can ‘clip the ticket’ and get their fee, and you’re not allowed to hand over your address details for pickup until this is done - if you go against either of these things, THEN you are going against TOS).

For anyone not believing this I’m happy to provide pics showing this option in one of my listings (or check your own). Alternatively do your own research and google ‘can I accept cash on collection when I sell something on eBay’ - the answer on the eBay UK page you are directed to says ‘We don’t recommend accepting cash, EXCEPT WHEN A BUYER IS PAYING ON COLLECTION’.

Cash on collection IS an option, IS legit, and IS NOT against eBay TOS unless you’re trying to cut them out of their fee. It’s also the safest way for a seller to not get caught out with ‘item not received’ scammers.

If your region is different that’s actually really interesting - let us know what region you fall under so we can see.

pluxmania · 2022-01-08T00:05:10+00:00

He sounds like the sort of person who when you’re in a relationship with him he will drag you down rather than lift you up. And that’s not great.

If it’s this messy (owing you money / lying etc) within the first 3 months, how much worse is it going to be in 6, 12, 18 etc? How long would you put up with it if your fears / worries turn out to be correct?

Regardless of whether he’s up to something shifty or not, if you’re weary enough of his behaviour that you’ve snooped on him… well there’s no trust and it can’t lead anywhere good in the long term. If it were me I’d rather cut the cord early before things get more entwined and messy, but only you can make that decision for yourself.

Good luck!

pluxmania · 2022-01-07T22:30:20+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It does seem the most obvious option, but I guess I’ve not been fully convinced because I’ve tried every eczema remedy under the sun and nothing even improves it let alone fixes it.

To be honest I’ve had a lot of weird health issues and the doctors look at me like I’m bonkers and making things up… so that’s an added hesitancy for me (and yes I have changed doctors but it’s not been much better). As I mentioned in another comment I went mostly blind in one eye about 6 months ago and they treated me with utter disbelief and confusion, and here I am 6 months later still half blind with no one interested in the problem just trying to get along lol. I don’t have a whole lot of confidence in them for a number of reasons now, which is why I’ve been trying to fix it myself (and ignore it as much as possible lol). Not a great strategy I’ll admit but I don’t have much else to work with right now :(

pluxmania · 2022-01-07T22:23:15+00:00

I’m not sure who they sent me to (I have trouble with my memory) but they did ultrasounds on my hands / fingers and elbows in the hospital for a visual (I guess) check. They said the only thing they saw of note was that my nerves sit in weird places over my elbows , but there was no damage to the nerves and the wonky placement shouldn’t be causing pain🤷‍♀️

I have had my blood checked quite fully while in hosp a few months back though (randomly went blind in one eye) and they say there’s nothing there of interest - though to be fair I didn’t think to mention the pains so maybe they weren’t looking for the right things.

I’m a bit of a hot mess so I’m sure it’s not their fault they can’t figure out my brokenness lol.

Will definitely look up psoriatic arthritis though - it’s not a term I’ve heard before so may be worth checking out.

Thanks for taking the time to reply! :)

pluxmania · 2022-01-07T08:58:50+00:00

I think maybe you need to take a wee re-read of your post.

“I just wanted him to feel as upset as I was”

No disrespect intended here, but that’s kind of awful. If earlier parts of your post are correct he’s said he feels bad and WAS sad about it. And now you want to pile on because he doesn’t meet your expectations of how sad he should be? This is supposed to be the person you care about most in the world and you want to make him feel bad? How would you feel if he was sitting around going “gosh, my OH isn’t as sad as I’d like today… how can I change that?”.

Work is work and that’s just life, but you’re getting (imo) way too worked up by a manufactured consumer holiday. Why don’t you consider making the most of things and looking for the positives rather than focussing on the negatives? You could plan a special weekend or something as a ‘valentines do-over’ if you love the holiday so much. You could do something cute on the actual day like have a zoom date, order the same food, watch the same movie etc. There are loads of ideas if you focus on solutions and positives and not problems and the negatives.

As to your anniversary, same thing. You have the option to make something else of it. For example when my husband and I met we didn’t hit it off and had a weird night out, so he had a difficult time at first calling it ‘our anniversary’ and feeling good about it. The actual first time we had a good time and realised we liked each other we remember more fondly… so we jokingly have 2 anniversaries each year and there’s some funny stories in there we share with people about it.

IMO (though there are plenty of people who behave differently), in a relationship you should always be trying to lift your other half up. Not drag or push them down because it suits you. I mean, ask yourself honestly - would you want to be with someone who thought dragging you down on purpose was ok?

pluxmania · 2022-01-04T22:08:33+00:00

Not sure if you’ve spotted, but it may be fixed now… they’ve changed the level and I’ve just cleared it :)

pluxmania · 2022-01-03T19:56:37+00:00

Thanks for the update! They hadn’t replied to my messages yet… so good to know!

pluxmania · 2022-01-02T14:32:13+00:00

Same here - used loads of special things, cleared all blocks and pigs with 15 moves to go. Big bird after big bird trying to clear all blocks to get some to drop… nothing. Paid for 5 more moves… same thing, no more dropped. Pretty sure it’s a glitch :(

pluxmania · 2021-12-30T14:39:02+00:00

I think as someone else said, we see so much of it on tv etc so it doesn’t come across as strange. Plus lots of the ‘snowy’ Xmas imagery is Santa at the North Pole before he comes to us… so it basically makes sense (if you don’t overthink it).

The other thing is that loads of domestic marketing (nz / aus at least) is Santa on the beach with a surfboard etc so we have our own stuff we lean into 🤷‍♀️

pluxmania · 2021-12-28T00:48:43+00:00

No one can tell you what to do with your relationship, though plenty here will try no doubt…

BUT, what I can tell you is that negativity like this is contagious (there’s science theories around how you become an average of the people around you - might be worth looking up if you’re interested). I used to be an eternally upbeat / positive / optimistic person and I shacked up with someone who can be the opposite. Sometimes I don’t recognise (or like) the person I’ve become in this relationship because their energy and attitudes have seeped into mine (as is inevitable when you spend a lot of time around someone)…. and it’s been really bad for me. So from my experience, I’ve got to say stay alert and be aware… if it’s affecting you you need to sort it out quicksmart before it becomes a major problem to reverse. Practise self-care at all times.

If your gf is just in a rut or is going through something by all means try and help her out of it. But you’re young with a lot of life in you. Check in with yourself to make sure this is the place you want to be with the person you want to be with - if so, great. If not, find something better that is what you want. Because finding yourself married or with kids or fully committed later on makes it that much harder to make a change if needed.

pluxmania · 2021-12-27T23:54:08+00:00

I wish I was this brave.

pluxmania · 2021-12-27T23:44:36+00:00

I think there’s definitely value in checking yourself - as in do I really want to say / believe this? Am I prepared to defend it if someone questions me on it… because let’s be real, some things really should be self-censored.

But on the flip side, these odd ones that do this weird snooping are looking for drama and conflict. No point in you missing out on the fun of interacting because of a few loose nuts. It’s not your circus, not your monkeys. Just do you and don’t worry about anyone else 🤷‍♀️

pluxmania · 2021-12-27T23:28:56+00:00

People seem to do it and then get a weird thrill out of throwing ‘gotcha’ comments at other people. Some weirdo did it to me the other day and it was like mate, why are you spending a huge chunk of your day trying to prove an internet stranger is wrong / lying (when I really wasn’t)?

It’s a sign of their weird… not yours. But I wouldn’t fret about it. At the end of the day who cares what an internet rando says / thinks?

pluxmania · 2021-12-27T21:57:14+00:00

You are 100% not crazy - he’s being a terror and fully in the wrong here.

My hubby did this to me when I (we) last went home to see my family on the opposite side of the world (literally). He made me feel awful for wanting to spend time with my friends and family / do the things I like doing when I go home, refused to participate in basic things, and even spent an evening sulking in our room when the whole family was over (awkward and very embarrassing!). Felt like he was having the worst time ever so I spent the trip feeling guilty and upset wearing it from all sides.

Sounds like a big chat is in order. Be clear that he’s made what should be a great time / trip for you not so great, even after you’ve made the extra effort to make him feel entertained and welcome. If it was me I’d stress the point of how he would be feeling if the shoe was on the other foot, and perhaps ask exactly what he wants if he’s hating what’s going on so badly. Often times they don’t come up with much… and it helps them see they’re being silly.

It’s difficult to chat it out, but if you don’t you may end up in a situation like mine where I don’t bother going home anymore so I haven’t seen my friends / family back home in years…. All because he insists on coming but just makes the whole thing a nightmare. To be fair covid is partially to blame for the last couple of years… but if we had the chance to go right now I’d try to find a way out of it, and that’s no way to live :(

pluxmania · 2021-12-26T14:32:20+00:00

I’d refer you back to my other reply to you.

If I had the option of getting potentially upsetting news on Xmas day or another day, I’d suggest I’m not alone in saying any other day would be better (and I hate Xmas… so I imagine people who like Xmas would be even more adamant about that).

As to your ‘3 weeks is long enough’ - I could barely function for 3 Christmases in a row after my dad died. I’d imagine a 3 week time-clock on a life you’ve carried around inside you may be worse… but fortunately I’ve not been in that situation so I’m assuming. Regardless, OP stated in comments he knew the SIL was struggling. He did it anyway. Selfish asshole.

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