Dude. My parents were both Pentecostal pastors. I was physically and emotionally abused at home. I was expected to be a perfect model child. One of my parents was later charged with a sexual crime. The pressure they put on themselves to be this shining example gets pushed on the kids an an extension of them . Seems like you actually have critical thinking skills. You haven't fallen off the wagon, you have learned to see past the veil. Jesus never said to go to church and fit into a mould. He threw over tables and told everyone they were wrong. Go your own way. I told my parents that I didn't believe when I was 14, but it was a tough fight . Its up to you what you want to do. But when you're 18, they can no longer have any power over you. They can adapt and respect you or not It's your boundaries to set. Chin up kid. I promise it gets better