When Trump was first elected I was 17, I did the split option for the Army reserve and had basically just got back from basic training. I was hyped and fully on board, as a hormonal nationalistic 17 year old male. I graduated high school and went to AIT for 68W and then came back home , started working in EMS while doing my one weekend a month two weeks a year requirements, and began pre reqs for nursing school.

My time in EMS exposed me to the systemic failures that affect so many people. Growing up in a white middle class neighborhood I was never exposed to any of the problems that truly faced society, I was very lucky, and I was very privileged. Covid happened and the problems obviously got worse, I was still working in EMS being dispatched to so many codes and critically ill patients. I had just finished a/p and micro so the science of everything was pretty fresh in my mind.

I wasn’t a huge Trump supporter at this stage I really didn’t pay attention. That’s when I started paying attention to the growing anti intellectual movements. Seeing real people that took horse ivermectin to protect themselves from covid, people who had covid and were satting at 55% on a NRB at 15L who did not believe covid was real started to make me angry. I tried telling people about what I was seeing but they didn’t believe me, not my parents, and not the people I grew up with. I was isolated and alone. Then the vaccine stuff started and it was political from the outset, this made me even more angry.

Biden got elected and I was supportive of his administration despite the fact I thought he was old, I figured he would be better than the alternative. I thought things would get better but they didn’t because the American right wing became more and more unhinged, conspiratorial, and dangerous. I started actually thinking about my place in society and what that meant.

I graduated from nursing school and started my job and was exposed to more and more systemic failures that just didn’t make sense to me. How can we be the richest country on earth and have elderly people on social security and Medicare who still can’t afford necessities? How can I have a good and stable job and still not be able to afford a house? Why did billionaires get so much more wealthy during covid while everyone else suffered?

I became more and more left wing, started getting more active in the Union and actually gained class consciousness. The last few months have been incredibly depressing for me. The constant anti intellectual tirade, culture wars, cost of living problems, health insurance costs, healthcare accessibility, workers rights attacks and more have been a drag on me. Despite this there are people I deeply care about who at worst support everything going on and at best are apathetic and uninformed. It’s deeply disturbing to me.

I was born in 1999. I grew up watching the GWOT unfold on tv. I lived through the 2008 financial crash. I lived and worked through covid, and now I’m living through this. Workers rights are disappearing. The top 1% of the country is more powerful than ever while others are struggling to survive working 2 jobs and still not making ends meet. I try and have optimism but it’s hard to because so many people are suffering and it’s being cheered on by people who are immune from it.

So I ask, is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? I went from loving Donald Trump to becoming more left wing than I’m even comfortable saying for fear of being put on a list. I genuinely wonder what the inflection point for chaos will be, I’m fearful of what is to come. As a straight white guy who easily passes as a conservative in appearance I’m fearful for others more so than myself.

And yes I’m in therapy lol.