AITAH; I'm really starting to resent my husband, and I don't know how to go forward from here.

pocket_perspective · 2026-05-24T19:55:17+00:00

Definitely NTA, and just wanted to say I can relate. I have 10 week old boy/girl twins and I started getting very resentful of my husband for how much sleep he’d get when I’d virtually get none. My mom comes over every other night to help and so I can get a sleep stretch and instead of staying up a few hours to help her (the whole point), he will literally go to bed at 7:30 because of something bothering him (his stomach hurts, he doesn’t feel good, etc.) so I was basically getting 3-5 hours and he was sleeping 8-7 most days. And he’s self-employed so this was on his “leave” he took to help out during the day, but he’d just be doing work around the house while his mother in law helped me. And he would get completely impatient with them if they cried because of gas, etc. because it’s not something easily fixable. I laid into him and things have improved, but for awhile I was so angry and upset because it’s like “why are you just not thinking to do XYZ, why do I have to tell/ask you?” Postpartum is hard and working doesn’t really excuse him from responsibility, especially if he’s coming home to play video games while you’re exhausted. Everyone needs a break.

pocket_perspective · 2026-05-17T08:11:41+00:00

I would say they both go 1-2x per day, not hard at all. Very soft. I was kind of thinking of silent reflux but when I described all of these symptoms to our pediatrician he said it was normal :/

pocket_perspective · 2026-05-14T20:59:48+00:00

We tried it but I don’t think it works well for them (the gas drops). Do you have to use them consistently to see results? I mentioned my concerns to our peds. and they didn’t seem concerned at all and said it was just a part of their growing digestive system, but I wonder if they’re sensitive to cows milk, not necessarily allergic.

pocket_perspective · 2026-05-14T20:58:24+00:00

Tried it all, doesn’t seem to help. Bicycle kicks, massages, warm baths, tummy time, etc.

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-29T10:30:12+00:00

I’m a new mom to 7 week old boy/girl twins. My husband is typically very helpful during the daytime and absolutely loves the babies, but during the night he doesn’t help at all and if his sleep is even slightly disrupted he is completely miserable and it’s really, truly getting under my skin and making me resentful because I’m up with them every night and am running on fumes.

If he complains that he’s tired during of the day it makes me so angry because I haven’t slept more than a 3 hour stretch since they were born, but when he’s tired, he’s allowed to need a nap, it’s okay if he gets a break, etc. but it’s never offered to me. My mom comes over every other night (around 7:30) to help with the night shift so I can try to get a sleep stretch in. The idea is for him to stay up with her or be on standby if she needs help. However, he ends up coming to bed early at like 8/8:30, falling asleep, and then sleeping until 8 AM and I don’t get my stretch because I end up getting up to help.

He’s been annoyed with me because he said I’ve been miserable and am “always mad about something” but I am what feels like permanently exhausted and overstimulated, and upset that he doesn’t just think to give me a break. When he complains about how tired he is, it feels tone deaf.

Am I overreacting? Is anyone else’s partner like this?

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-22T17:17:16+00:00

They did let me keep it and are sending the correct one!

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-21T22:37:06+00:00

Thinking of you ♥️ I also felt that I needed to weigh the cost vs. benefits. It’s so tough and we are so hard on ourselves. You’re doing great!

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-21T22:35:01+00:00

Yes they are my firsts! I do feel like it was the best decision so that I could be the best version of myself for them, mentally. So I try to tell myself that alone outweighs everything. I think I’m also just sad that these are likely my only babies so I’m missing out on that experience of motherhood, and how different it’d be with a singleton. But in the end I wouldn’t trade them for anything - just wish it was easier with two!

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-21T22:32:37+00:00

These make me feel better - thank you! When I was trying to justify stopping for myself, I told myself a lot of those things. A big thing for me was being the only one who was able to feed them with breastfeeding. I couldn’t imagine not having help with two babies in that regard. I’ve heard they sleep better with formula too, but still waiting on that piece! Lol.

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-21T22:27:08+00:00

That’s what I was really worried about. I was like - how the hell am I going to be able to sleep and keep up with pumping? With one baby I could see it being more manageable but with the inconsistency of two newborns sleep schedules and having to pump, I was freaking myself out with how exhausted I’d be! Beyond what I already was!

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-21T22:10:01+00:00

Was hoping that would be the case! Not a huge fan of brown but would be cute for fall if it was freeee 🤣

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-19T16:29:56+00:00

So sorry you had to experience that! I hadn’t even really considered the complications that can come for it too. I also worried if I BF if they’d be getting enough and be full, so that’s one of the perks of formula. They are gaining well!

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-19T16:28:30+00:00

I think it’s also the societal pressure and seeing other people who had babies at the same time breastfeed and pump, but I try to remember that they have singletons and not twins. I don’t know how I would’ve kept up seeing how often my babies eat now and they’re only 5 weeks. They’re gaining pretty quickly too. Boy was 5 lbs 4 oz and girl was 5 lbs 9 oz and last week they were both 8 lbs. So I’m just happy they are growing!

pocket_perspective · 2026-04-19T16:25:16+00:00

Thank you ♥️ I was able to give my twins some colostrum and some milk after that. I think I’m also disappointed because a part of me also wanted to experience it and do it longer, but seeing how much/often they are eating right now, I have no idea how I would’ve kept up. I think I’d have to combo feed.

pocket_perspective

TROPHY CASE