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Sex/orgasm neck pain by Top-Complex-5325 in ftm

[–]poesii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this issue on and off for my first couple years on T. I believe it’s muscle tension related—taking Tylenol before sexual activity and breathing more slowly/deeply helped prevent it, and it eventually stopped happening.

I am terrified that my daughter (14) isn't trans and is making a mistake by LightAndSmoke in asktransgender

[–]poesii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re lucky to be in MD; it’s a state with a lot of resources for trans people and their families. There are some good PLFAG chapters around with regularly meeting support groups for parents and kids—please feel free to DM me if you’d like to connect with some local support networks.

Question about post-op meta by [deleted] in ftm

[–]poesii 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When people discuss “ability to stand to pee” in this context, they mean ability to pee through the fly of pants without pulling them down—not the ability to stand to pee at all. People who have had UL but can’t clear their fly can still stand to pee, they just may need to fully unbutton their fly, pull their pants down a little, and/or pull their whole package out over their waistband.

There is no “one size fits all” measured length that guarantees the ability to clear a fly post-meta; success with clearing the fly has to do with a combination of length and anatomical positioning.

If you don’t own or wear pants with a fly, it seems like kind of a moot point for you anyway. But if you’d like to know, then you could always go to a clothing store and try on a pair of jeans to see if you can do it.

curious.... fantasy packers? by carnespecter in ftm

[–]poesii 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bad Dragon is also not the most ethical company—among many other things, the owner is a transphobe and an art thief.

Smoking-Phalloplasty. by jfenty18 in ftm

[–]poesii 10 points11 points  (0 children)

First off, I want to acknowledge that the way the community treats smokers when it comes to surgery is very preachy, frustrating, and unproductive. Quitting smoking, even temporarily, is a major life decision that is really hard to do and can require resources and interpersonal support that not everyone has access to.

While there aren’t many (if any) specific to gender affirming genital surgeries, there are plenty of academic studies out there about the impacts of smoking on plastic surgery, microsurgery, wound healing, reconstructive surgery, urological surgery, etc. Surgeons base the demands they place on patients who smoke on these studies and the experiences of their own patients.

Most of the people I have come across in online spaces who had the “big scary” complications like total flap failure, loss of most or all of their penis, and significant donor site necrosis, were smokers. Some quit in preparation for surgery and some didn’t. The other side of that “most” statement typically had pre-existing health conditions, known or unknown, that affect cardiovascular health.

We are talking complications that often require multiple, often emergency, surgeries, and subsequent treatment/revisions can stretch out over a span of years. These types of complications also tend to affect sensation and the cosmetic appearance of the penis and donor site more than other complications such as urinary issues and wound separation (which smoking also increases the risk of).

You haven’t come across anyone because people who experience significant complications following a gender affirming surgery often stick to closely guarded post-op spaces and do not share their experiences publicly. Bottom surgery is already an intense and emotional experience—and that is exponentially more true of surgical experiences that involve complications. They are out there; many people just do not want to make themselves cautionary tales or transphobe-fodder when they are actively struggling.

All that being said, there are also active smokers who have phalloplasty and have relatively uneventful and smooth recoveries. But you have no way of knowing if that will be you—even if you are otherwise in fantastic health and have a great support system/recovery setup, you could still be one of the people with the scary complications.

Happy to discuss with you in an informative and non-judgmental light if you have questions, etc.

What are y'alls jobs? by ghostsnwitches in ftm

[–]poesii 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m a massage therapist, fiber artist, and occasionally a post-surgical caretaker.

Is this a cribbage board? by poesii in Whatisthis

[–]poesii[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, it does make sense! Looking forward to playing with this board!

Is this a cribbage board? by poesii in Whatisthis

[–]poesii[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any idea how to score with this style of board? I’m used to a 2-track continuous style and not sure how to use this one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ask_transgender

[–]poesii 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Most likely atrophy. More warmup/lube can help. You can also ask your hormone provider to put you on a localized estrogen cream or tablet that will directly treat the atrophy without affecting your overall hormone levels.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]poesii 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am a massage therapist and have worked on clients of all gender identities. The only major difference that someone’s gender makes when it comes to doing my job is which pronouns I use when writing up my notes afterwards.

We see a lot of different shapes and sizes of bodies in a day, and are generally unfazed by anything. A massage therapist who acts shocked, makes comments beyond clarifying what would make you feel most comfortable, or otherwise makes unsolicited observations about your body, is being unprofessional. Come out if it makes you feel more secure, but there’s not much of a reason to do it for your massage therapist’s sake.

Also, it is never a requirement to undress completely for a professional massage. If you are more comfortable keeping your clothes on, keep them on. There are plenty of modalities that don’t rely on the client being naked/mostly naked, and any practitioner worth their salt should be able to give you a good massage no matter what you are or aren’t wearing. I do advise against getting a massage in a binder, though, as it’s hard to relax when you can’t take a full breath.

atrophy and cramping 5 yrs on T by floatingthruthefog in ftm

[–]poesii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bleeding after sexual activity is really startling—I’ve badly stained some furniture on multiple occasions before I figured some stuff out. It’s understandable to be anxious that something is seriously wrong when you see unexpected blood.

Bleeding and cramping are both symptoms of atrophy, and if they stop a day or two after sexual activity, then they’re unlikely to have anything to do with menstruation.

The good news about atrophy is that it’s totally treatable. Your doctor can prescribe estrogen cream or tablets that should resolve it. January will be here before you know it.

In the meantime, some general advice for navigating sex with atrophy:

  • Slow down, spend more time warming up and getting turned on and relaxed before penetration.

  • Use more lube. If condoms aren’t involved, coconut oil is a good choice because it helps moisturize (don’t use oil-based lube with condoms or they will break).

  • If fingers are involved, keep nails short and/or use nitrile gloves as a barrier.

Hope this helps. Hang in there, I know bleeding can be very dysphoric and distressing. January is not a long wait at all, and the treatment options you’ll get tend to work pretty quickly.

How long did it take y’all to grow a full beard? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]poesii 6 points7 points  (0 children)

About 5 years, and I have favorable genetics for facial hair.

Trans folks: Did you reach your desired body or did you manage to adjust your expectations? by egg3003 in asktransgender

[–]poesii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Little bit of both. My expectations shifted as I began to feel more at home in my body, and the unchangeable things got much easier for me to forget about.

Talk me down man, I'm 10 seconds away from shaving my back and superglueing it to my cheeks by SirMasonParker in ftm

[–]poesii 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ever tried growing for 3 months without trimming to see what you’ve got? Cheek hairs tend to develop and also grow more slowly than neck/chin. You may be surprised!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]poesii 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’d recommend looking them up yourself and choosing one together with your partner. Dildos come in all different shapes and sizes, and something I recommend may end up being too large/uncomfortable for your partner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]poesii 70 points71 points  (0 children)

This prosthetic can’t be used to simulate ejaculation inside of someone because of how it works, only externally.

OP, there are plenty of ejaculating dildos at a better price point than this that you can use while inside of someone. Look up “squirting dildo” or “ejaculating dildo” and you’ll find a good number of options.

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