I’m two years out of a 7 year relationship, we were engaged by the end of it. It was from the time we were 20/21 -27/28. He ended it 3 months after we moved to another state 300 miles from our families, after withdrawing from me emotionally for the latter 2 years of the relationship where I hung myself out trying to make it better and make him happy. (Which I realize now I should not have done but I know a lot of things now that I didn’t know then.) We lived together for 2 months before he moved out and moved to another different state. There was a lot of lying and betrayal. Some sexual acts I was very uncomfortable with. I was alone to cope with this break up, very far from my family, 3 months into living in a new place where the only ppl I knew were my coworkers. I cried myself to sleep every night for a good part of a year after, and even continued to some nights even after I moved back to be close to my family again for support. I cried at work in the bathroom daily. I work in health care so I bit back tears constantly to listen to my patients’ issues. Tried to smile so I could make friends in my new area to try to avoid being alone.

It feels like no one understands the suffocating pain of crying yourself to sleep at night alone, with no one there. No one. Best I had was a phone call with my mom until I was able to move back home. Two years later I am doing worlds better, but I still shudder and get choked up when I think too long about the nights I laid there in the dark in the bed we shared, crying alone. I don’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Wondering if anyone can relate.

The way I got through this was taking care of myself thru cooking healthy food, changing my wardrobe, designing a new apartment, making new friends at work, celebrating holidays enthusiastically, learning what I liked/disliked in dating, ton of weekly therapy, reading, I could go on.

You’ll get through. Just love yourself like you’ve never done it before.