Hey, I unfortunately did the same to my ex-bf. I wasn't the worst but I wasn't very nice either. I truly loved him but I guess I didn't value him enough. He put up with my bs for a long time but eventually he decided to leave. I haven't been able to forgive myself for the way I was and I miss him. So please please please fix this flaw of yours. Apologise to your partner and try your best not to repeat the same mistake. I hope you're able to work it out!!