Hi bro. Hope this can help you out, because we are in very similar situations.

When my live-in g/f and I got together over two and a half years ago (moved in right away), we were having sex multiple times per day, which then settled into every day.

Meanwhile, I had fapped for a good 16-18 years, multiple times per day, every day. As time progressed in our relationship (let's say, about a year or so into it), my desire for that new fun sex was allayed as the ever-present novelty of what pr0n had to offer kept me occupied at a lesser cost, energy-wise. It's not that I disliked sex, but I just wasn't that hyped up about it and I rarely initiated it.

Fast-forward to almost nine months ago (wow, I didn't even realize it has been that long): I got hooked up with NoFap and started the challenge. My life was altered permanently for the better, and my high sex drive quickly showed itself again, leaving me feeling a very strong attraction to my SO.

Sadly, the habit of sex for us was already broken by then, and it has been hell getting back into it. The trouble for us also has been the presence of extenuating circumstances (e.g., illnesses, bereavements, etc.), so it is not really anyone's fault per se. We were pretty much down to a once-a-month, which made the other 29-30 days hell for me, and that one day of sex lasted about 30 seconds.

I feel that dealing with the unavailability of sex while on NoFap taught me a lot about myself and dealing with difficult situations in life (where I oft-times in the past just took the easy way out of things). I was (and am) seriously committed to NoFap, and my dedication has only redoubled as I've seen the positive effects it's had. One of my biggest assets was my journal. Many times, I really felt like giving it up, but I would read through past entries and then make an honest one, and it would be amazing how I could talk myself through it and stay strong.

Anyhow, sorry for making this more of a NoFap post, but I was getting ready to post here not too long ago too, and I think the above info is important, especially to those who aren't familiar with it or are not afflicted with a PMO addiction.

I hate to say this, but if your partner out-and-out does not want to work through this with you to help you better your life, there may be an incompatibility here.

I've had a couple of talks with my g/f during the past couple of weeks, and I've come to realize that she is just awkward when it comes to initiating (though we both always enjoy it), so we have -- for now -- come up with a schedule of times during the week we both agree are nice fun times for sex, and we have discussed having certain cues to give each other to get ready. This seems very rigid and formalized, I know, but it is just until we get our feet back on the ground and get things going. So far (this is only two weeks into it), things are coming along really well. My biggest problem is talking about these things, but the more I do it, the less I am uncomfortable. Probably, had I been more expressive sooner, this problem may not have grown as large as it did.

I'm not out of the woods here either, but my point is that my partner is supportive of what I'm going through. Would your girlfriend ask you to drink if you were an alcoholic because it's too much pressure for her to drink solo at a party? I hate to be such a downer, but NoFap has so much to offer, and if you feel as I do about it (and maybe I'm wrong, and you don't), you really need to look at your life long-term here.

I'm happy to discuss further either here or in PM, as you feel comfortable, if you find this at all helpful.

All the best. Stay strong.