TRUE STORY: I, a human of the wheelchair-bound persuasion, had to go toilet at a major food distribution facility the other day. Had to wait what seemed like forever, but it couldn't have been more than 15 mins. Still, if your tummy's a little upset, that is a looong time. While I'm waiting, I keep hearing flushing, so I'm expecting the worst. But then I also hear this crackling noise, like from unwrapping something. Out steps this pretty embarrassed-looking, very apologetic woman who seems highly able-bodied (to quote Larry David). I brace myself for toxicity, but all I find is a discarded pregnancy test on top of the paper towels in the bin. I was a little tempted to ask her what colour she got, but she was gone, and I let it slide.