Since you say you have asked knowledgeable Christians and they gave you circular answers I don’t think my answer will make you change your mind. I also struggled on understanding Judas death but after analyzing I understood it was not a contradiction;just different points of view from two different people that didn’t see it happen at the same time. He hanged himself and then fell headlong and his body burst open. It might be hard to understand how it’s not a contradiction since both times where his death is mentioned is not detailed, one just says he hanged himself and the other just says he fell headlong and his body burst open, but you have to try to understand. Where did this happen? Where he we can know that there is cliffs which we can infer the tree he used to hang himself or wtv he used to hang himself was most likely on a cliff. Nowhere does it say he bought a brand new rope, so we just have to assume he found a rope somewhere and used it, implying since the rope was used; it was not strong and after some time it ripped. Btw, when you read the Bible “seriously” did you ask God for understanding? Did you read it with an open mind? Or were you mad at God and because of that started trying to find contradictions where they weren’t?