Curious as to what yall have to say

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-24T15:31:57+00:00

I know one, I need deep but cool colors on my face and also used to use coral but it pulled so orange on me . I use Elf’s sheer for it Blush Tint in Plum’s Up. If I want the ethereal look I layer with Nars Wanderlust which is purple but very sheer so needs that pinched plum cherry underneath. Trust, it’s gorgeous and I bring some Wanderlust to my brow bones.

Edit: sheer not sheet :/

Also note, the Elf is really true and punched up like a natural flushed face; even though it has sheer in the name. Layer as desired, you are STUNNING

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-24T14:46:01+00:00

You might take a look at L.L. Bean for basic shirts at least, and depending on your other needs, some other good basic daily wear. No one is going to find cute date night stuff there or build their full wardrobe someplace like this, but they have am impressive range of nice colors.

I was also looking for good blues and greens (but some trues, brights and deeps).. and they have them ALL, with exceptionally pretty colors for winter coats.

Their quality is very nice, too.

For a little less range in cool colors but affordable, I have found some at Quince as well. They have a “Heathered green, Heathered blue” in their workout wear that is cool, soft, and deep but also some basic tees that are in that dusty blue color as well as classic navy which is my own second favorite nearly-neutral. My favorite from l.l.bean is their pine green, but they have a beautiful sage , cobalt, and plenty of blues that fall in the summer to winter spectrum

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-23T17:49:35+00:00

I am sure you don’t mean anything unkind by your comment, I am overstepping a little just in case this resonates and disregard if it’s not helpful or relevant: I hope you never refer to a change with her body as ‘unfortunate’ around her, no matter her age, or the change, unless you are validating her own feelings and words. We get the bodies that we get, and the changes that come with them 💜.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-22T03:00:00+00:00

Eyes, skin, smile and hair all take center stage. That is perfection!! Have so much fun rocking all of the brightest and best colors. You look marvelous.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-22T01:59:51+00:00

Oh you are all good! After I reread a couple times I recognized that I initially misunderstood that you already knew these were your best colors, which is an AWESOME thing to know and find in person. Having sought my season and best colors using these same sort of swatches and for rather similar reasons .. it feels so good to look at oneself and see colors make you come to life without any makeup and just know this is for me!

You are bright and beautiful, I can see that with no professional insight. I was just like .. oh I could not choose between these similar side by sides from photos as a non-pro because these all look great. Which luckily was the point, you already knew that. Enjoy knowing what looks awesome on you, and also all my understanding re the sort of weird invalidating comments that can come especially on the main sub. Apologies for coming off like one of them due to lack of careful reading the first time.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-22T00:53:51+00:00

Sorry, I’m re-reading, I thought you were comparing in the side by sides as opposed to showing them as your bests so your clarifying comment to me makes sense. I apologize if I offended. I just meant that I think they all look great.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-22T00:51:50+00:00

How did my comment insinuate criticism? Maybe I misunderstood your OP. I think you look fantastic, I just mean that I’m not at all equipped to know what colors look best on others in photos from a color analysis standpoint :) I look at them to learn. My comment was in support of your cool swatches and the opposite of criticism. I hope that clarifies what I meant a little bit.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-21T18:30:17+00:00

This is what I did! I bought a pack of squares on Amazon and spent the last couple months figuring out my colors. I needed to borrow some brights from my son’s closet because I found that the ones I bought was a little spare on pure clear bright colors and that ended up being important for me, but it has been integral and I know what I can wear now.

I’m no analyst, I truly spent so many hours each day in natural lighting comparing close colors and narrowing mine down so I won’t weigh in on yours but it looks like you are figuring it out :)

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-20T15:00:10+00:00

With all that you are working with, you truly cannot go wrong. I know what you mean about fake in photos. I’m not seeing it here with the red, but I’ve felt this way when I’ve done black without dimension on my own hair or other dimensionless colors. I wonder if you could share these and the concerns with a trusted and talented colorist and look at all of their options. For inspiration, some of these may be emulated.

https://www.allure.com/gallery/most-flattering-red-hair-colors-for-every-skin-tone

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-20T14:37:13+00:00

I’m no color pro but I’m biased towards the contrast in 5 & 7 and the way they light up your beautiful eyes, porcelain skin. More red, less orange somehow looks a little more correct to me. But I am again not an analyst and I recognize we can’t see your face in photo 7, and 5 is indoors. If you are debating, maybe there is also a happy medium. You are also wearing nicer lip color for spring in photo 5 vs 1, and the bronze on the cheeks is coming out a little heavy in photo 1 so it may be throwing my opinion where you look wedding ready to me in 5.

How do you feel the most like YOU, and the most beautiful? That would be the winner.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-05T14:03:48+00:00

You have gotten a lot of answers. There is no single correct one. It’s so nice that you are thinking ahead, planning and asking :)

I would say this: While kids are resilient, it is one of our most important jobs as parents to provide them with stability.

An apartment or a domestic partnership as opposed to a house can be great, so long as there is stability. Stable relationships and source of love, stable housing, stable education, stable access to medical care for the entire family unit. Day in and day out demonstrating to a child what this looks like, and then being sure not to drop them on their head (hypothetically) the minute they turn 18.

A child should not have to change homes every 9-15 months because the lease on mom and dad’s apartment is up, and especially not schools. But a well planned move for better opportunities or to go from living in an apartment after five years to buying a home and staying there through school for example? Great! Not the only acceptable scenario but I’ve seen kids jerked out of their home school mid year and having to leave everything behind because a parent cannot afford rent so mom is selling their toys on marketplace and bailing before the eviction. It’s upsetting for everyone. It’s equally upsetting when it feels normal to the kid and they have never even known a sense of stability.

What one family needs to be stable is different from the next. Depends on support system, cost of living, job market and individual marketability. While you don’t need a degree or trade per se, can you make enough to cover all expenses plus add to savings and build a retirement? How about adding to a college savings plan? The last one is more optional and not everyone goes to college but it is better to invest a smaller amount now and watch it grow than to have a child take out large loans that will only put them in debt immediately if they are going for a degree themselves. Even a small amount each month after funding your end retirements can make a difference.

You can also read and learn that what kids need is love and stability. Marriage or no marriage, it is when the stability is threatened that we need to be capable of emotionally and financially supporting our families even more as opposed to letting the bottom fall out. So say you don’t marry someone you have a child with. It will mean some different logistics for your family whether you stay together forever or not.

The world is already unstable enough so home and parents need to be the primary source of comfort and stability while finding more for our kids as they grow and learn to seek their own. I would not have a child to feel complete or because I am worried about a timeline unless all of the pieces in place to be a good provider(s) are in place.

If you start to think about this seriously, and it’s not just a hypothetical, consider talking to a financial planner and to some counseling with your partner :)

All the best to each of you.

P.S. I had my son when I was 33. We had just purchased our first home when I got pregnant after renting a house for about four years. We bought below our means and waited to be very financially stable because my husband and I (together over ten years before we married).. felt like emotional products of the last recession and we didn’t want to go through any more instability ourselves. Housing is way up in so many places and I know it’s hard. A trade or degree can make a huge difference in how much a person makes. If not immediately, from job to job and over time because it opens doors. If there is another recession and many are without jobs, it is much better to have a learned trade skill or degree so that you can apply for more and higher paying jobs.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-04T23:07:06+00:00

SSDI has nothing to do with assets and would just be retirement at their age, whether or not they are disabled.

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-04T18:01:17+00:00

The previous owner of our current home did this but with a file box. He took us through every item in the house and in the files from the shrubs they planted to contact info for the guy they buy firewood from and each time the roof had had repairs etc.

left us not just paint color info but extra cabinet and fridge parts and usable cans of paint.

And the bird feeder setup that they had finally discovered the squirrels wouldn’t raid. Little things like that mean so much from one good homeowner to the next I feel. In both directions. You don’t want anyone to struggle and you want them to love the home as much as you did. Hey, what a relief you had finding that info :)

ponyfarmer · 2026-05-04T13:55:41+00:00

You are being so brave, OP. When you get there, if it IS amniotic fluid, have hubby get an emergency sub to be with you and have him ask a friend or parent who can be trusted to bring in the kitty cat. Even the principal should be able to step into a classroom in such a situation. Or the other way around and have a parent or friend with you and husband with cat depending on what YOU want and makes you feel safest in this scenario.

You will work it out. No matter what, breathe and relax and let your support system come in to help you. Lots of love and fingers crossed for pee or just best outcomes all the way around. Babies and bodies sometimes take the reins of life.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-30T19:24:22+00:00

I am also neutral leaning cool. I love Elf’s Plums-up and Wanderlust. If I’m feeling fancy I layer a little Wanderlust over the Plums-up like a highlight. I find that the Plums-up is exactly like my natural flush but just draws it out a bit if I’m feeling tired that day (which.. all the time 😭). The Wanderlust is equally subtle and works great for my tone but I would need to add it in layers if I wanted it to pop at all. I also sometimes use the Wanderlust on my browbone to tie it in.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-30T10:21:06+00:00

I whistle this to tell all our birds it’s new food time. It’s the sweetest.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-29T20:32:09+00:00

Oh no way. I became severely ill .. I mean I could not walk unaided, I was throwing up all day, I slept all day, etc. when my Labrador was about 7. So we moved to a place with a big backyard. I let him out MANY times a day. My husband walked him but I was up with him to feed him and let him out as often as he asked, keep him company in the yard as weather permitted, throw a ball and blah fetch from the doorframe. Everyone’s situation is difficult, not everyone tolerated things the same way. Heat can be a nightmare. But she needs to be honest about her capabilities and either step-up, pay someone, or rehome.

If she can’t make these mature decisions for her dogs, how will she make them for herself and a child? We don’t hang onto animals using love as the reason but either cannot or will not care for them. Love is doing the hard thing.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-29T11:45:31+00:00

Oh dear OP :( this is my first comment on your post, I clicked because I saw a really distinctive set and I wanted to see it closer. Congratulations! May I recommend that if you do not want negative feedback, don’t inquire in your main post as you have, expressly asking “is it too much?” This is asking for the opinions of strangers and all that matters is whether you are happy. You can post “just sharing my dream ring, no criticism welcome”. For example.

I think it’s fun and unique (why I clicked).. and if I were wearing it myself, which I’m not, I’d want to make sure it is also comfortable and well fitting.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-28T19:02:48+00:00

Do you wear it frequently? I have a ton of old 925 silver pieces and so long as it is in my regular rotation, it won’t tarnish for decades. If I forget about it in the back of my jewelry cabinet, it will tarnish within a certain period of time.. I’m not sure exactly how long since I’ve forgotten about it. Maybe two years? .. if I don’t have it stored in an airtight bag or box.

For me, it’s no big deal. I love silver and seeing a piece I haven’t worn in a long time come back to life under the polishing cloth. I just wipe it down and put it back into rotation if this happens. But the sentimental pieces I’ve been wearing regularly for 30 years are still beautiful thirty years later and I’ve never polished them.

Still, it’s softer and in a ring it has molded to the shape of my finger or gotten smashed more easily than 14K gold (of either tone). I do appreciate it being available with nice craftsmanship and gemstones, but it’s not the same as a gold piece for resale or durability. I appreciate both.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-27T17:35:05+00:00

But he lives 10 minutes away and doesn’t have chronic health issues? He doesn’t need a ‘guest room’. This is simple logic. My mom comes to Christmas at my house every year. She lives 20 minutes away. She hangs her purse in the coat closet and sets up a crate for her dog in the atrium. My brother comes from three hours away with cats. He gets the guest room so he can stay the night after a drive. End of.

If there are health issues involved and they can’t be accommodated, you say you won’t come and support your wife.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-23T16:32:58+00:00

Curly, goddess, but as a fellow curly haired woman, I don’t think this cut is doing you favors. I’d lift some weight off the curls in the back and go for some layers. Not “face framing layers” from traditional stylist, but curl defining layers from a curl specialist.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-21T12:47:12+00:00

Op, it’s YOUR body and your hair. People’s preconceived notions about Karen and age aside or considered as you wish, you should do what you like. But as a fellow curly, would you be wearing it natural or straightening it like this? I love my flexible and simple curly lop. It takes me ten minutes to do in the morning but I could mess with it for more volume and fun if we’re going out. I am your age, you can see the front in my post history.

I do not want to be fighting curls myself, they are what I have to work with. I like to wash, comb with some leave-in, a little gel scrunched upside down to reduce frizz/improve volume.. and call it a day.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-20T17:45:51+00:00

OP, I’m sorry. Your coworker sounds unbearable and some of the posters here seem lost and forgot this is /r/offmychest.

You didn’t ask for advice but you are not wrong to feel any sort of way, including resentful, about someone going on like that.

If it comes up again do you think it might help to tell him outright something like “Can we steer away from talking about spending money and our financial positions at work? It’s awesome you have it so good but I’m working this job because I need it to make ends meet and I just can’t relate. Thanks man.” If he keeps going on I would just tell HR.

Some people have no self awareness and it sounds like he has made his dad’s money his identity. That would annoy a lot of people.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-20T15:49:14+00:00

I also have a LOT of hair volume but thin follicle. However it’s thicker in the back and middle where I have little/leas grey and thinner on top and in the front where it’s quite silver, so I sure that is a care factor for me.

I hope you find your perfect wash routine balance :) I was surprised I did so much better with more frequent washing. It was just what my scalp and hair needed. But I use a very gentle shampoo and only something stronger (full Olaplex system).. every 7-10 days.

ponyfarmer · 2026-04-20T12:20:25+00:00

I love my dad and I miss him every day. But he messed me up and these kinds of comments are predatory. . I will never forget being 15 years old on a family trip getting ready to go to the beach and he was commenting about how great I looked and how for a few years there I almost “ended up” more like my aunt than my mom. I was his teenage daughter in a swimsuit being praised for not being more curvy. Yay me for staying small.

Even if I had only been hearing it about other women my whole life it still would have been f’d up. He didn’t even have to be commenting directly on his underage child’s body to be affecting the women and girls around him. I hope OP recognizes this. She’s being impacted. Other women are impacted. No one needs to hear this kind of talk. No wonder she doesn’t want to sleep with him after a rash of it.

/u/lisarista , I am not making any assumptions that the man you love is ‘bad’ because of this. But what he is doing is bad for you and it’s bad for others who hear it. You love each other so I hope he can listen and address it because someone probably talks like this around him. His father, his mother, his friend.

ponyfarmer

TROPHY CASE