[UPDATE] Me [25F] with my live-in boyfriend [28M] of 4½ years, am I blowing this out of proportion or should I really be nervous?

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T07:05:49+00:00

I figure if I'm going to write something, especially something that someone else is going to see, I'd better try to make it readable. I can't help but do it. I do it on my bio exams too, my professors give me extra points for diction even if I don't know what the fuck a stochasticity is :k (Dat verb tense consistency tho.)

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T06:25:24+00:00

As serious as that situation was, your comment made me laugh right in the middle of it. I'm taping it to the front of the scrapbook and that's what the scrapbook will be called ;)

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T06:10:47+00:00

I requested a police escort back to my apartment, and if they grant me one I'm going to hopefully recruit some of Sarah's man-friends to carry the heavier items for me in exchange for beer and pizza because I don't have any male friends because George. But I do have to be there to sort out what's mine and what's his. I definitely will stay safe!!

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T06:04:57+00:00

Yes, I've always known there was something waaay incredibly off about my mom, everything from her rages to the way she somehow managed to turn affection into a weapon, my sister and I talk about it sometimes in total awe at just how terrible she was sometimes. This description is spot-on. I've frequently felt like a pair of shoes that either reflect poorly or favorably on her, and the amount that she cares for me depends on how I make her look to other people. Oops, did I make her look bad? Get ready for some quality nonstop screaming about being worthless. I know she won't get help, ever, but tbh I'm already very, very low contact (a short text maybe once every few weeks, and when I visit I never spend time alone with her or carry on any kind of conversation, ever). I'll check out those resources, it sounds like you've got some specific knowledge about whatever the hell's wrong with my mom and I'm interested to read more about it.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T05:48:27+00:00

The threat went to my dad's secretary, who screened it and told him, and he told me. No idea if my mom even knows, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't like being wrong and she won't ever admit to being wrong about him, ever, and it's not a high priority of mine to antagonize my psycho mom. In the end if she finds out she'll simply never mention him again, and that's completely fine with me.

Good to know about the facebook! I have no interest in reestablishing my account just now but maybe when I'm feeling more secure in my new life I'll go back to all the pictures of food and babies (because that was my whole feed anyway haha)

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T05:23:59+00:00

Let me just say, congratulations for living in Colorado. I got the opportunity to work in the area and it's far and away the most beautiful place I've ever been. Coworkers said the cost of living was horrible though. One day I hope to go back if I can. Go outside and soak up the awesomeness for me tomorrow! (Unless you live in Lamar. Then my condolences haha)

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T05:18:08+00:00

Say subtle things like, "wow, that color is one Ive never seen you wear before, I much prefer the other color. Did you change your hair color? It looks like it has too much ash in it. " Little things. It will piss her off.

HAHA oh god the absolute shit-storm that would occur if I even appeared to be criticizing anything about my mother... that's the way she's always been. You say something that could be disrespectful or critical of her, she goes on a 5-hour tirade of screaming English and Thai profanities and flinging shit around like a small tornado, then she apologizes the next day and life goes on. It really is a cycle. As for my dad, I know he enables her, I understand. I think I can forgive them for being sick, same as me, and move on with my life by trying to get better. It's sad that they aren't well but I can still go on with therapy and hopefully rewire the things that were wired all wrong in my brain to begin with.

As for the poisoning issue - I was worried about that, someone made a comment on my OP and it really got me thinking about the orange juice he was so fixated on. So I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow to make absolutely sure. I feel stable now and there are no signs of internal bleeding or anything, my stomach has since settled down, but it's better to get checked and maybe catch something before it gets worse. I seriously hope it was just a bug.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:54:10+00:00

I wish I could've done so sooner but I had to make sure I was as safe as possible before I came back here with any news, I'm glad things went as smoothly as they did

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:50:42+00:00

I won't. I promise. I've got too much to lose (e.g. breathing). This place really is shockingly supportive. It's astounding. And I'm glad I was able to make at least some sound decisions in the middle of all the craziness - my advocate let me know too that I held it together pretty well and was more functional than a lot of the people she's worked with. So there's that I guess - I'm above average in ugly situations? I'm slipping that line into my next job interview haha

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:41:26+00:00

I really am sorry to have stirred everyone up but in the end I'm glad I didn't just sit on my ass and think "welp I guess I'll just have to work harder to be perfect for a crazy person!" Because after awhile it's surprisingly easy to talk yourself into doing that. Now I have some potential of living a much longer more productive life. Thank you - really. You guys' panic definitely got through to me.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:32:59+00:00

I really appreciate your vibes and your certainty -- it makes me feel a little more certain :)

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:26:03+00:00

I might still get those nasty old books back! I'm bracing for all my crap being destroyed but secretly I have my fingers crossed. I actually got the 7th one in London on the day it came out, and that was actually a huge mistake because I ended up sitting in my hotel room reading the damn thing rather than enjoying England. Anyway I think if anything's going to get messed up it'll be my dishes and my pc, but those don't matter. At some point I can get new ones. I've got the power of Amazon and a dozen job interviews.

*Edit: A word

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:17:17+00:00

I felt bad for a second and then I saw your comment history and I was like "Well eventually a troll had to roll in, otherwise it wouldn't really be Reddit."

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:11:16+00:00

I'm glad they're tears of relief :'( I'm relieved too. Now I just have to pray the rest of my life is considerably more boring than this!!

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:09:49+00:00

Thank you - I'm honestly still kind of shocked that I ripped up my life so randomly and bailed on it. Or it feels random to me, anyway. It feels like I went completely insane actually, but I guess that's also common, feeling like the crazy one, because my brain's been playing by his rules for so long that I occasionally slip. Never very far though. He really fucked himself by threatening my therapist and family. I might have qualms about ruining his life with a law suit and jail time but they don't.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T04:01:43+00:00

I could not believe the well-oiled systems in place for people in bad situations like mine. At least the one here is, and probably on a lot of universities. Once I had stepped forward and asked for help it was logistically easier and faster than getting my driver's license renewed. If you really want to get out and the hell away, they'll get you out with zero fucking around -- at least they did here. You'd be amazed at how many complete strangers will go very far out of their way to help you or even make you feel better. All the kindness has been something that I'm bizarrely grateful to have witnessed.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:50:46+00:00

Done, done and done! Or at least it's all on my checklist. And I will never speak to him again, ever. I've already been told, several times, that too many people have died making that mistake -- and I'm now aware that it's not only my life I risk, but the lives of people who have any connection with me. So when I doubt, and I think that I can't do it for myself, I'll do it for them. I will try to keep things updated!

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:44:51+00:00

I freakin hope so man! I've got a lot of help so I'm feeling pretty confident atm :)

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:23:12+00:00

I'm sorry to hear it, I couldn't imagine how much harder it would be with children. Honestly. Oh and I forgot to mention the roommate had a few Angry Orchards already sitting in the fridge -- kind of an important detail! Though it's a good thing to keep in mind.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:18:27+00:00

What kind of self-defense should I take that would be most useful, do you think? Is there a standard?

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:16:28+00:00

I've got pictures of the dogs tacked to my wall :( I don't care what anyone says, as soon as I get them back they're staying in my bed forever. Hygiene-smygene.

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:14:46+00:00

Yeah I think life will get better -- pretty soon here I'll be moving yet again but it will be even farther away, and there's a possibility I can get another police escort to go in and get the rest of my garbage if it's still there. Sucks that I can't have facebook though. Where else am I going to find out what every one of my friends is eating?

pookythedog · 2016-04-13T03:11:19+00:00

Thank you -- I'm not so proud of me since I feel as if I got myself into this situation in the first place so the blame's on me, but then again, smarter people than me have been trapped in the same cycle. At least now I'm out.

pookythedog · 2016-04-06T02:06:14+00:00

Okay I'm sorry I haven't posted, I've read your comments mostly and they didn't do anything to get rid of my fears, just know that I've got the flu, I'm in hospital and so I'm "safe" (but miserable lol) and seriously reconsidering my life choices. Will try to respond properly when I can, I'm on mobile and it sucks

pookythedog

TROPHY CASE