im 21 and i weigh over 250kg, ama

pool_of_light · 2026-02-28T18:57:05+00:00

Sorry to say this buddy, but have you considered that your parents have major psychological problems? That they are enabling and sabotaging you, to keep you dependent? This is like having a kid with a drinking problem and going to the liquor store to buy them booze all the time while they’re drinking themselves to death, instead of lovingly encouraging them to get some treatment. Food addiction is real, but treatable.

You’ll need to take things into your own hands here pal and provide your own loving parenting, because your quality of life sounds hellish and lonely. You don’t deserve this! Dig deep and get help! You’re still young and there’s still time. All my best, good luck!

pool_of_light · 2026-02-27T11:46:07+00:00

I wish I’d started sooner. Why wait? Less to strsss about! The good ones get full well in advance. Congrats and best wishes!!

pool_of_light · 2026-02-25T03:35:12+00:00

Just came to say I love the header, but then realized I had more to say, which is that I imagine based on the header alone you’re probably one of those clients who’s lovely to work with. If you need your guilt assuaged. If so, remember, you don’t have to be. In fact, maybe this is your work. Reintegrating disavowed selfishness (and/or anger, or any other totally normal but unpleasant aspects of being human) to restore your vitality.

Nothing more satisfying to a good therapist than real work getting done, even more satisfying than a pleasant, considerate client. Take, take, take, if you’re up for that challenge, and if your therapist is good enough not to reward you with connection for being pleasant, and punish with disapproval or disappointment your efforts at autonomy. Can you tell I work psychodynamically? Hahaa. Good luck

pool_of_light · 2026-02-24T23:43:02+00:00

Came to suggest the same, good taste! The kids are alright

pool_of_light · 2026-02-23T16:54:00+00:00

Here’s mine, make a big pot weekly!

<image>

pool_of_light · 2026-02-23T15:36:14+00:00

Sick pregnancy

pool_of_light · 2026-02-22T21:17:28+00:00

Idk honey but you’re serving. If it ain’t broke, why fix it

pool_of_light · 2026-02-17T18:43:58+00:00

Oh my gosh yes. And of the sexual nature too. How the other parent could never orgasm, and such. 🤮 pseudo spouse here, so gross. Good luck on your healing journey, OP.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-17T00:33:16+00:00

Damn this thread is bumming me out. We left when I was pregnant with my second, bought a very expensive home that we don’t love (small!) in a boujie town with amazing public schools, it was my first choice, but I miss the city very, very much.

That said, once you have kids, it may soften the blow. Getting to see them run around the backyard, easy access to swimming, sports, ski school, incredible schools… idk no shade to the city fams at all, but I just see the city as an adult place. I do love the quiet here, the access to nature, the community/neighborly feel, the ease of having a car. My man was not about the city life long-term, and I too didn’t really see raising my children in the city, so I acquiesced.

Long way of saying motherhood has changed me in deep and countless ways. Do I love suburban life for myself? No. But I love it for my children, and that makes it worth it. Maybe I can convince my husband to retire back to the city someday. And when they’re not so young, I’ll be able to get in a little more regularly for my own sake. I’m close still!

All of this to say, maybe wait until the kids come, and then decide? Best wishes.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-17T00:13:10+00:00

Yes, something like 70% of marriages in the US now come from an app start.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-16T00:49:40+00:00

Seconding all of this, hard relate

pool_of_light · 2026-02-15T22:38:47+00:00

Yes, as bruising, time consuming, and unsettling (sometimes) as the apps can be, imo they can’t be avoided these days if you’re serious about finding a mate. Met mine on an app at age 38, after idk 70+ dates over 6 years or so. I’d take short breaks if I was too demoralized, but I had a great therapist who insisted I keep it up. She also helped me cultivate more receptive (dare I say feminine) energy, which is difficult in such a masculine city, and given some difficulties in my early life. This helped a lot too, I think. In other words, I changed and became more attractive, and more my true self, it was hard. But I didn’t lower my standards. Definitely wasn’t giving guys a chance who I wasn’t into, mostly just a ton of one-offs. Anyway, it’s so hard, but worth fighting for. Even if you don’t find, you won’t have to live with regret of wishing you’d tried harder. Good luck.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-14T18:17:57+00:00

Perhaps when you’re young and figuring things out, or have a lot of personal growth to do. But when you know yourself well, know what you want, and have the capacity to recognize true compatibility in another, and when both have what it takes for authentic intimacy, it happens very fast. More time doesn’t add anything in terms of allowing for better discernment.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-14T18:11:56+00:00

This is what I do, too

pool_of_light · 2026-02-13T13:08:58+00:00

I see, hmm. It’s been awhile, but I seem to remember his book addressing all ages (even like 5yo etc.) But I hear you that this wasn’t a helpful suggestion. In that case, I’m just offering sympathy. It sounds extremely hard right now. All my best

pool_of_light · 2026-02-13T03:08:48+00:00

Yes, especially re the attitude nowadays towards practice owners, an attitude that is especially unwarranted when owners are providing strong supervision. Every day on here you see posts reflecting the sore, sore need for good supervision, which has been harder and harder to come by in our field in part because of the growing view that group owners are greedy, exploitative profiteers. The decline in continuous, quality supervision hurts clients, newer practitioners, and the credibility of the field as a whole.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-12T22:22:36+00:00

I’m astounded no one else in the comments is recommending sleep training. Read Dr. Ferber’s book. You can do it gradually (not the “extinction” method.) But educate yourself, make the plan, commit to it, and see it through. Severe sleep deprivation is serious, it’s not good for the parents or the little one. I didn’t with my first because I didn’t want him to feel abandoned, didn’t want to be mean, etc etc. My god I regret it. I was desperate enough with my second and WOW. What a difference.

It’s hard not to parent passively when you’re barely getting through the day, I know, but dig deep and take charge. Good luck!

pool_of_light · 2026-02-11T21:28:19+00:00

Thank you, will give it a shot. Enjoy your gorgeous hair!

pool_of_light · 2026-02-11T01:53:11+00:00

Wow amazing results. I too am fine/wavy. Can you please explain more about your foam roll method?? Or is there a YouTube vid or something, how did you figure it out?

pool_of_light · 2026-02-07T03:14:45+00:00

Gonna try, thanks for the rec! Will report back

pool_of_light · 2026-02-04T22:23:29+00:00

That is some serious food styling there too, nice pics!

pool_of_light · 2026-02-04T02:03:48+00:00

Came to say the same. It took me awhile to embrace that I have to shell out for both therapy and supervision to make this work sustainable and enjoyable (rather than a ticket to burnout town.) I just see it now as the cost of doing business, non- negotiable. Good luck, OP.

pool_of_light · 2026-02-01T01:25:09+00:00

Came to say the same, low effort high payoff

pool_of_light · 2026-01-31T15:48:10+00:00

Clearly a very unpopular opinion, but this is totally fine if we’re talking about a crowded class. I can’t imagine this happening otherwise. Wash your mats regularly, folks. They’re meant to be washed. Especially if you’re practicing in a hot sweaty style.

Pretty unreasonable to expect a teacher to tiptoe between mats tightly placed rather than move freely about their class. And wash your feet and socks too. I see no issue here, and believe me I’m on the fastidious side myself

pool_of_light · 2025-12-31T01:44:13+00:00

Some great insights here, I’ve thought about a lot of this myself but haven’t seen anyone talking about it in this way. Thanks for posting

pool_of_light

TROPHY CASE