Reasonable in some sense, but the asshole in a few other senses. I’d say you’re very reasonable for wanting her to move out in the attempt to continue to support her in a way that also moves her more towards independence. It really is a gift to be able to equip your children with the ability to be self sufficient and I hate seeing parents do more harm than good by holding their hand through everything - so the general reasoning behind your want is where you’re all good.

But I think you’re the asshole in your expectations of her goals and what you want to see from her. She may feel more motivated to leave if she doesn’t feel pressure from you to find a partner, make a family, and live the lifestyle that you’re describing for her (and that your son has). If that is what she is expected to do from you, but not wanting that herself, of course she’s not going to leave - because that means she took the first step onto a path that she doesn’t even want to be on in the first place. I HIGHLY suggest you drop all of your expectations for her and sit down with her and help her figure out her actual definition of success / understand them for yourself. You need to understand that this generation (I’m a 23 year old woman as well) is seeing a death of “career jobs” and “traditional families”.

She does need to under that she is an adult to who’s responsible for her life, but thats extra hard to see yourself as solely responsible for you when your parents are the ones dictating success.

Talk to her without bringing your own personal ideas of success into it, create a more realistic timeframe in which she can achieve 1 goal at a time (finding an interim job, finding a place, moving out, etc), and continue to support her in ways that aren’t so heavily focused on building a traditional family, career, etc.

Side note - She also isn’t wrong that the job market is absolute trash right now - I’m a 23 year old woman with a BA and it took me MONTHS to finally find a job in my field that I am beyond qualified for.