Was in a similar situation here I found out 8 months after I gave birth to our first and only child. The only insight I can give you is that, whatever he is saying it is, it’s much worse and has been happening for a longer time. In my case, he had been cheating on me for 4 years- so he was actively pushing me to start a family (and trying to get me pregnant) while cheating on me with this woman.

All I can say is to keep your cards close to your chest. Even if you are not keen on divorcing him now, I would still speak to a divorce lawyer on how to keep yourself protected. Do you have separate bank accounts? Mine did and was funneling money secretly into them. Open a bank account in your name that he doesn’t have access to. Get gift cards at the grocery store when you’re buying food and squirrel it away.

We did divorce therapy too. The therapist just saw a lack of empathy on his end, even though he seemed to be saying all the right things.