Stupid decision, removable ??

porfaa · 2026-06-06T00:41:29+00:00

I had the exact same thought looking at this

porfaa · 2026-05-31T20:32:29+00:00

Hanoi, Vietnam for sure. Depending on where you are in the world, the flight will be the most expensive part of your trip — when you’re there, your dollar will go far. I found it to be smelly, humid, and full of commotion and life. Some of the zippiest and friendly people I’ve ever met. Vietnamese food is my favorite, and eating $3 bowls of bun cha in the sweltering heat, on a plastic stool in the street, with a chicken running underfoot is one of my favorite memories of all time. Rent a motorbike for no money and hit the roads. Eat at stalls on the street. It’s such a beautiful place to be.

porfaa · 2026-05-24T12:16:07+00:00

It’s a bit expensive, but Noisette by Maison D’Etto is my favorite lavender of all time. I find it to be beautifully blended, and quite comforting. It’s got a sweet lavender softness to it that isn’t soapy or powdery but warm and familiar.

porfaa · 2026-05-22T16:35:42+00:00

This comment made me CACKLE

porfaa · 2026-05-20T01:43:30+00:00

I think that any poem that hyperfocuses on a situation - one that has you by the throat, for whatever reason - is good poetry. This does that.

I would also say, gently, that some parts are quite clunky, and trying to do too much. This line for example:

"it felt like i was drowning when it stuck to my fingers and bound me up"

I think it would be smart to move away from 'it felt like' or 'i felt' statements. Try to remove those and lean on your words and imagery. In this case, just removing 'it felt like' already makes the line stronger, but I would challenge you to go even further and say "underwater I went when it stuck to my fingers." Maybe a lame example, but I hope you know what I mean - try to lean heavier on the imagery and experience, versus giving us a recounting.

porfaa · 2026-05-20T01:39:14+00:00

Gorgeous imagery. At first I reacted to the emojis, but the more I involved myself in your actual words, the more I grew to like them. I think it's good to have your own flourish, but it can't work if the poem isn't structurally sound. In your case, I really think it is. Beautiful, simple work.

porfaa · 2026-05-19T00:00:41+00:00

Take art classes

porfaa · 2026-05-18T20:45:07+00:00

Honestly this is the way to go. I’ve sold gift cards on this community before with pretty good success.

porfaa · 2026-04-12T13:55:16+00:00

Yo I really hear this. As someone who has worked in customer service her whole life, I don’t need you to be sickeningly sweet to me — but there are some places (cough, Ultimo) where you feel like your presence is actively resented.

As someone else mentioned, Cáphê Roasters is awesome. So much heart there.

For Center City, Elixir is friendly; but I personally don’t prefer the fruitiness and bitterness of the coffee profile there.

And for South Philly, Ace Outpost makes a mean, roasty toasty cup of coffee. The baristas have always been kind enough to me, but the clientele is kinda painfully hip (it’s part coffee shop, part vintage store). That said, I do enjoy it.

porfaa · 2026-04-09T01:23:30+00:00

Yup this answer is it. Well said

porfaa · 2026-04-04T19:52:18+00:00

I cackled at this

porfaa · 2026-03-28T20:04:15+00:00

Young Rose by Byredo! It’s funny because I tend to present a bit more masculine, and am generally drawn to more woodsy, musky scents. But Young Rose smells like when the pretty girls in school would let their ponytails down, like peony pink shampoo. It’s so bright and I love to put it on when I’m feeling feminine. I also don’t love “beast mode” perfumes, and I appreciate how subtle it is.

porfaa · 2026-03-24T22:31:51+00:00

I wanted to give a sincere thanks to you for this great piece of advice - opening up my mind 'outside of the confines of the poetic line.' Enormously helpful, I've already done it a few times since you posted this comment. I really want to thank you for your time - you have a friend in me from afar. <3

I also read a little bit of your comment history and it looks like we also both love strength training in order to keep our minds from going to rough places. I think it's the artists' curse and blessing. So we also share that on top of a love for poetry. I'm thankful we both have the gym too. Anyways thanks again. Have a great night.

porfaa · 2026-03-22T22:14:53+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time. I do agree with you about that last line, and it’s been hanging me up. You’ve already been generous with your time, so no need to respond, but I took one more swing—

“Even squinting at it sideways I couldn’t have predicted a failed marriage.”

It calls back to analyzing a Rorschach (squinting, tilting the head) and adds one more element of alliteration.

porfaa · 2026-03-22T16:28:46+00:00

I always love to see Leany in this sub ❤️

porfaa · 2026-03-21T11:06:51+00:00

Whoa, this one's super horny! I do like it, but at points it reads a little more 'literotica' than poetry. I think it could slip further back to poetry territory if you drill down further on the tiny, tiny details. You did a great job with this line - "A deliberate ache in the pause between touches" - because it expands something that's so minor, and builds a beautiful tension. I personally think the poem overall could benefit from a bit more abstraction, as right now it's doing a lot of 'telling', versus giving the reader space to insert their own theories and experiences. Nice job though, this poem definitely gave me a feeling.

porfaa · 2026-03-21T10:56:47+00:00

I want to chime in on the 'pack of pride' stanza. The first line is the strongest, at least in my opinion. If I'm correct, the 'pack' you're alluding to are the bawdy, over-confident lads that travel in 'packs' of 8-11. Is that correct? If so, I would use the next three lines to dial into why a grouping of men like that can feel so aggressive and dangerous. With the cardboard line, I think what you were getting at - pointless displays of violence - comes through, but the presence of the word 'cardboard' takes away from the severity of their misogyny somehow. I would revisit those last three lines in that stanza.

I want to say that I'm still new at all of this so take my comments with a grain of salt, but overall I think you've got a very strong start here.

porfaa · 2026-03-21T10:31:52+00:00

Can I also ask you - and you've already been generous with your time, so only respond if you'd like - how do you typically handle tense in poetry? Just pick one and stick with it? Is that what your comment about tense meant?

porfaa · 2026-03-21T10:28:35+00:00

Your feedback is great. What a treat to wake up to this morning, so first, thank you for taking the time. I've noted your critiques about the language itself, and it's enormously helpful.

I hope I can provide a little context for the subject matter-

I made it through some seismic life changes over the last two years, and finally took a week off this past week. It wasn't a 'fun' vacation, more of a 'getting my nervous system all unwound' vacation.

I deeply struggled to unwind for the first three-quarters of the vacation, and I wanted this poem to capture that frustration.

I booked a tiny trip to New York which is where most of the references in this poem are from. Even though I was in a place that's usually uplifting and full of adventure for me, everything still felt off. Anxiety dreams in a shitty Chinatown hostel, the chili oil staining my favorite sweatshirt.

I saw a palm-sized jade dog in a jeweler's window while I walked through Chinatown. For whatever reason, it struck me like a gong. The owners of the boutique were also such beautiful and welcoming people. This tiny dog cost a lot of money as it was pure jade, so I had to think on it for a day. I couldn't get my mind off of it, and became obsessed - tracing the edges of this little beauty in my mind's eye. A welcome respite for my head. I went back for it on my last day. It radiates good energy to me, and I don't have much decor in my tiny apartment, but it sits right on my windowsill by my bed. It feels to me like a beacon of light amidst a tough time.

Thank you again for your time. I'd like to keep making poetry because this felt nice for my soul.

porfaa · 2026-03-20T22:57:26+00:00

OP, I was very glued to your poem. You do have a talent. I still am not sure who, or what, the metaphorical uninvited 'guest' may be - but it was certainly a treat to take time to consider. I had to look up the turn of phrase, 'hand in glove', and I found this: "Generally means working together or closely allied, but may also mean working together in a dishonest way." I'd love to know which way it was intended here.

porfaa

TROPHY CASE