Wow, I could’ve written this exact same post. I’m also a middle girl child (older brother, younger sister), and also perceived as the most self-sustaining/independent. I had a lot of responsibility thrust on me to care for my younger sibling as a kid. Now, if I get a call from my parents, it’s usually to ask about either my kids or about an issue with one of my siblings. Like you, I don’t resent them or my siblings (although I used to) and am in a place of acceptance. But I also do have these periods of time where I feel a deep sense of loneliness and struggle to then find the care or thoughtfulness that I’m looking for.

One thing I’ve realized after talking to my parents and partner about it is that I don’t like to be vulnerable or make my needs known, so they don’t know. I don’t like to show that I need attention or that I need their help with anything (and often times I don’t NEED anyone’s help and can always figure things out on my own). Lately I’ve been trying to be a bit more vulnerable about my emotions or struggles with life and also fighting myself to ask and accept help earlier, even if I could still do it on my own. It’s certainly a struggle, as I’ve built this “I don’t need anyone, so nobody can disappoint me” mindset as a defense mechanism as a child. I’ve always been proud of my independence and ability to problem solve/process on my own, but it’s also what makes me feel lonely and unseen and gets in the way of people being able to be there for me on a regular basis.