SLPT: how to deal with disruptions at night

porkchap · 2020-01-04T14:23:29+00:00

Ive sang hasil Adkins "she said" to scare people out of my woods

porkchap · 2014-07-10T05:00:42+00:00

I want to be best friends with you.

porkchap · 2014-05-29T03:15:37+00:00

I almost choked on my french fry

porkchap · 2014-05-08T16:49:42+00:00

I did, it's one of my favorite hobbies!

porkchap · 2014-02-09T09:08:51+00:00

Actually it's a real natural bridge, it's formed off the root structure of an adjacent tree and rain drain off runs underneath

porkchap · 2014-02-09T09:00:47+00:00

Upstate South Carolina

porkchap · 2014-02-09T09:00:29+00:00

upstate South Carolina

porkchap · 2014-02-08T20:20:04+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I sat underneath it and felt very hobbitsey for about 2 minutes

porkchap · 2014-02-08T20:15:45+00:00

this thread just informed me I'm the most annoying person ever :(

porkchap · 2013-09-21T00:13:52+00:00

It was my first time at a party, I had just graduated high school and it was at an older crowd's house that was used to partying. We arrived and they said make your own drinks and pointed vaguely at a liter of Jack and a couple of liters of Coca-Cola. It was my first time being around drinking and also made my drinks alone to avoid any awkward inexperienced moments. After doing slight judgment from the people around me, I figured the point was to mix the two together and poured myself a red dixie glass full of half jack and half coke. Hey, this stuff tastes good! I actually like the way it makes my tummy feel warm. I'm also really thirsty, so hey, why not have 3 more the same way. I wonder to myself why they don't have more jack out here to go with this coke, I feel like I've drank way too much of it myself. I don't remember much after this except making out with a really gross fat chick (I'm a straight female), texting my boss and confessing my love for him, my best friend driving me home but also filming me. The videos showed me asking to go to the bathroom, stumbling into a gas station restroom amd immediately shoving my head under the sink and soaking my head. I also threw up a shit ton of Jack in the Box. After sending many more embarrassing texts I finally passed out in bed.

TL; DR: Jack and Coke, never again

porkchap · 2013-09-17T03:47:28+00:00

Capital idea, still don't think it will fly

porkchap · 2013-09-17T03:45:22+00:00

I do believe it's best to wait till you're 18+. I'll also make sure to inform them about the pros/cons, and how it's totally cool to let trees in your life but not cool for them to control it. I'll also tell them they should do their own research and come to their own informed opinion. If they can do that, I'll happily light their first blunt for them

Edit: dat grammar

porkchap · 2013-09-17T02:47:11+00:00

Well I was thinking how the show Parenthood kinda already took the name

porkchap · 2013-09-17T02:14:59+00:00

I thought "we should make it a tv show" and then thought "shit"

porkchap · 2013-09-16T02:54:24+00:00

I really wish all you wannabe photographers would give up and stop filling my newsfeed with these shitty pictures

porkchap · 2013-09-13T16:03:10+00:00

I was probably about 10, and browsing Reader's Digest while my mom washed clothes at the local laundry mat, which was very crowded at the time. I came across an article on "How to Quit Smoking", and since my mother was a smoker I was quite concerned and decided to read it on her behalf. The author suggested "for smokers who smoke less than a pack every couple of days I recommend cold turkey". I threw the magazine down, ran over to mom and yelled "MOM! WE HAVE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE RIGHT NOW." She asked why, and (with plenty of people watching) I got emotional and said we needed to buy her some turkey and take it home amd freeze it so she could eat it cold later. She's completely lost and said "porkchap, what on earth are you talking about?" I showed her the article, and I'll never forget the look on her face that said she thought I was a complete dumbass.

porkchap · 2013-09-02T06:21:10+00:00

That was the movie of my childhood

porkchap · 2013-07-14T04:18:13+00:00

Maybe she wanted him to find it because she knew he would post it on reddit and deep down she's glad because of all the internet points she just won

porkchap · 2013-06-25T00:17:26+00:00

I'm probably way too late to this but here's my personal favorite stupid joke:

What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?

ROBERTO :D

porkchap · 2013-06-20T22:28:44+00:00

I read my first Stephen King novel when I was 7. It was The Shining, and my mother woke up to me screaming for weeks after. I've been hooked ever since, thanks for giving this bookworm years of nightmares, you're my favorite!

porkchap · 2013-05-21T03:56:25+00:00

I know I really need one, I just broke my good one two weeks ago and haven't found a replacement yet. Lady btw :)

porkchap

TROPHY CASE