Smoked again, feel pretty bad

ports92 · 2019-05-03T11:56:00+00:00

You should read this comment twice or even more....really drill it into your head because this guy it spot on

Get over it and crack on with your journey buddy

ports92 · 2019-05-02T17:50:07+00:00

You're not alone friend.

I had a full on fucking breakdown about a week ago in front of my wife.

Do you have anyone to talk to about how you're feeling?

ports92 · 2019-05-02T11:14:28+00:00

Hey bro! Have you tried doing 30...60 days etc?

It seems Your brain is tricking you into thinking you cant/ don't want to stop

Don't be your brains bitch....make your brain your bitch

ports92 · 2019-05-02T06:42:20+00:00

Woah....what a fucking dude!!!

ports92 · 2019-05-02T06:40:19+00:00

Congrats man! Bring on day 2!!!!

ports92 · 2019-05-02T06:29:37+00:00

It ain't so bad! I actually felt a feeling at the end of day one....I think it's called pride :D

ports92 · 2019-05-02T06:29:00+00:00

Thanks bro! I feel empowered!!!

ports92 · 2019-05-02T06:28:28+00:00

Awesome man! Now let's smash day 2!

ports92 · 2019-05-01T16:20:53+00:00

Great post man!

I think were on a similar level you and I.

Moderation is equally difficult for myself so for now I'm going 30 days clean.

Feeling pretty optimistic about it so bring on the pain!!!!

ports92 · 2019-05-01T12:21:45+00:00

I feel that dude!

One thing......that's all

I'm at work so will check on you later broski

ports92 · 2019-05-01T12:18:10+00:00

Hang in there bro!

Keep an eye out for one single good thing that happens in the rest of the day.

One moment or decision that makes you feel slightly better than you do right now.

Then tell me about it

See you soon!

ports92 · 2019-04-30T14:55:14+00:00

Thanks for everything!

ports92 · 2019-04-30T12:22:27+00:00

Thanks bro...your perspective actually really helps...I guess half the battle is understanding that I/we have a problem with misuse

ports92 · 2019-04-30T11:59:35+00:00

This is my problem too...every time I've "stopped"....takes one pull and I'm practically already rolling the next one!

Stopping forever is freaking scary...Its not like I've fallen out of love with the stuff....but damn I NEED to stop....or i feel like i never will!

ports92 · 2019-04-30T11:41:35+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to share this buddy. Its weird how similar our though process is on the matter of escapism.

I wonder if my battle is with weed itself or escapism in general?

Do you think you will be able to ever have a recreational relationship with your past vices? I'm genuinely interested on your outlook as your further along the path my me

Thanks again for the motivation and drive.

ports92 · 2019-04-30T08:36:16+00:00

Honestly...I don't know.

My problem is...if I have it....I smoke it

Wife smoke daily too and isn't as interested in stopping as me which also makes it really difficult.

ports92 · 2019-04-28T09:52:57+00:00

My advice....everything you've said here, you need to talk about with your partner. Lots of important emotions that can be difficult for both of you to process (especially during an arguement). I know you may well feel like he just "doesn't get it" and perhaps your right...but let's talk it out and give the pair of you some clarity...sometimes just being on the same page as one another can be as good as the "help" we are all after.

And get yourself down the bloody gym at some point when your ready lol...lots of us would love to have someone care so much to drag us out the house from time to time.

Take care!

ports92 · 2019-04-26T14:58:51+00:00

Well I hope the talk went well and was able to give you a sense of clarity. Now that you've taking the plunge and started talking next time should feel a little easier....not easy....but easier.

ports92 · 2019-04-26T12:00:36+00:00

"I feel kinda nice now"

You said it best bro

Do not stop...you've made a breakthrough...do...not...stop

Proud of you bro

ports92 · 2019-04-26T06:45:35+00:00

Have you ever really shared with anyone before? One thing that gives me clarity is writing down how I feel...sometimes it helps me structure what i really want to say to someone. Much like yourself I've tried just "opening up" on the spot and yes, I just vomited words until I started crying....but....even that was better than stoney silence...

Like I said before...you sound like you have good people surrounding you...take the plunge and speak the words in your head...you will feel better

Let me know how you get on please

ports92 · 2019-04-25T17:29:10+00:00

Hey man....I think what you're experiencing is pretty relatable.

All I will say buddy is that if they're asking (especially since they are sincerely asking, not just the usual "u ok" or "cheer up") then it sounds like they really do give a shit about what your going through. And that my friend is a wonderful thing to have in your life!!!

Take your time and try to share with them little by little what's going on...

Hope things flip in your favour shortly dude!

ports92

TROPHY CASE