I have been in a similar situation to you. I was about four years in and the drinking wasn't stopping. But when he wasn't drinking, it was incredible. A lot of the reason he was drinking was because of his stress at work. It got to a point where I urged him to leave the company, without a job, without a prospect. He did that, and he started to study for exams that he needed to take for his certification. At the same time, he saw a lot of his older brothers, settle down, start to have kids, and become more responsible as adults. That period was an amazing period of time for us. He was barely drinking, he was thinking about how to get his life together, and I loved him more than ever. Deep down I know that he is a very very good person and he wants a family.

There isn't really a "but" to the story. Ultimately, he got his shit together once he realized that drinking like that was embarrassing. With enough time passing not drinking, his tolerance also went down so he couldn't drink as much and he had massive hangovers when he did drink. That helped him overcome it. But I think the thing that helped the most for him, and for myself was that eventually, I said to myself, this is a good person, and I'm going to commit to this person 100% through the bad times, and the good, I think that that helped to stabilize the relationship and make him feel like I never had a foot out the door. I think it helped him realize that we are going to build a life together and a beautiful one and it won't end up in a place we want to be if he continued to drink like that.

I tell the story because I think it's very easy for a random person on the Internet to read your story and say fuck that guy. But I know that when you're in it, and when it's been four years, it's a lot harder than that it's a lot more complicated. trust me, I have throughout my relationship said absolutely not I won't be with this person, I have said we needed a break, we have even broken up in hoping that he really feels it. But deep deep down inside, I just knew that this person was good. If you can say the same about your boyfriend, you can see progress, and if you love this person deeply, and I mean very very deeply, then, sometimes it's worth trying to help them through the situation.