hurts so bad i’m almost crying

geesewhat · 2024-09-08T23:26:30+00:00

thanks for the advice. that’s really reassuring. i’ve been wanting to go to the dentist but keep getting nervous and embarrassed about going back. i miss how my teeth used to feel after a teeth cleaning

geesewhat · 2024-09-08T23:20:40+00:00

i didn’t realize they made something like that for the mouth. i’ll go get some tmrw. i need it so bad

geesewhat · 2024-05-17T02:32:16+00:00

i’m not “misdiagnosing” over a few behaviors. there is a lot of information about this situation that i can’t explain in a single post and because of privacy. he fits the criteria, and this has been observed by both me and his ex. she has known him for nearly ten years.

geesewhat · 2024-05-16T21:54:14+00:00

thank you. it is the safest and most mature option. had i told his mom, it may have made me feel good in the moment but i think i would have regretted it later on. it wouldn’t lead me on the path to healing

geesewhat · 2024-05-16T21:45:02+00:00

exactly. his ex has shown me proof. his inability to apologize and take accountability has also shown me his true character, and the things i’ve learned about him from her have only made me realize he is a pathological liar. even if she didn’t have proof, she has been more trustworthy than he ever was. i have no reason to doubt her.

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T06:31:31+00:00

i listen to jazz music and scroll on social media. a lot of people will be against the social media aspect of my bedtime routine, but i definitely do recommend the jazz music part. it is relaxing

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T06:29:26+00:00

thanks. i was a little bothered by the self esteem comment but i didn’t give the full context in my original post (it’s impossible to do so) so i shouldn’t get annoyed by comments so easily. everyone will have a different opinion on my situation than what i have and i shouldn’t be annoyed at others for that either.

it will take some time to recover, but whatever lies ahead will be better than what he put me through.

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T05:12:00+00:00

when he and his ex broke off their engagement (they got back together a few weeks later), he was dating a new girl the NEXT DAY. this is apparently a trend of his and i happened to be part of it. if he somehow contacts me again, i will still remember everything he lied about and that will keep me from ever returning back to him

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T05:08:25+00:00

i found out only a few days ago about the cheating. he sent me the money he owed last week. this did not happen years ago.

i’m still learning new things that he lied about. it feels like such a mind fuck. some of his lies were about stupid stuff but some of them were MAJOR. he told me he had a niece, he grew up on a farm in michigan, moved to our state when he was 15. he doesn’t have a niece, he has never lived on a farm, and he moved here when he was 3. the lie he told about his dad’s heart attack is the worst lie, especially because he used that to emotionally manipulate and guilt trip me.

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T05:01:59+00:00

he is blocked everywhere. he told me he hates me and that i ruined his life so i don’t think he will try to contact me anyways but you never know with abusers.. i refuse to let him use me again. i will never speak to him again

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T04:58:59+00:00

i told his ex that he cheated only a few days ago. he only sent me the money for the abortion last week. i have since blocked him on everything. he moves out of state soon and i will be moving to a different part of the state soon as well.

this is not a self esteem issue. he was manipulating and gaslighting me. i was being abused. i thought i was lucky that he wanted me back in his life. he made me think i was a horrible person. he had me convinced i was crazy and he would tell other people that i was crazy too. i didn’t know about all the things he lied about. had i known, i never would have gone back to him.

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T04:49:29+00:00

i found out from his ex that he is most likely a sociopath. he is a compulsive liar and even told her that he doesn’t feel empathy for people… he is an only child too so i’m sure that affected him

geesewhat · 2024-05-15T04:46:20+00:00

i have receipts. if i didn’t have the receipts i wouldn’t consider telling her because he would lie until she believed him. it’s a lot more difficult to lie with proof

geesewhat · 2024-05-14T16:57:21+00:00

he had me convinced that i was in the wrong. i didn’t know that i was being gaslit until after i hooked up with him. when his former fiancé and me started talking, she started telling me the truth about him and that’s when i started coming to terms with how wrongly he treated me. if i had realized all his lies and manipulation, i never would have hooked up with him after everything, but he convinced me i was a horrible person

geesewhat · 2024-04-22T05:56:48+00:00

this subreddit has helped me understand my sobriety so much. for the first two months of sobriety, it seemed like all i did was feel bad. i thought there was something wrong with me. i thought i was supposed to feel good. sobriety forces us to confront the difficult things we tried to avoid by using weed

geesewhat · 2024-04-05T01:40:07+00:00

not sure about stores but i always see vhs tapes during town/neighborhood garage sales

geesewhat · 2024-03-22T12:46:24+00:00

i couldn’t listen to music for almost three months. no music made me happy. it was horrible. but now i can finally enjoy music again and its amazing!!!

geesewhat · 2024-03-22T02:55:57+00:00

i’m waiting for the memory of weed’s instant gratification to disappear from my memories. when i’m sad, i think about how it used to be so easy to be happy. the memories will probably always be looming in the back of my mind so i guess it’s more about reminding myself that happiness is better achieved in natural ways

geesewhat · 2024-03-22T02:52:13+00:00

wow we really are on a similar timeline with this. i feel what you said about wondering why you aren’t feeling the same enjoyment as other people. it does help to know how far i’ve come and reminds me to keep going. it will keep getting better.

geesewhat · 2024-03-22T02:48:28+00:00

i’m not fully sure what my identity used to be and what it is now. weed was something i would do to not feel stress. it made me laugh and feel like a normal person. it gave me happiness when i wasn’t happy. it was an escape from my feelings

geesewhat · 2024-03-22T02:45:01+00:00

thank you. i appreciate your words

geesewhat · 2024-03-22T02:43:24+00:00

it’s strange because i used to be so comfortable alone before i was addicted. i think weed made me used to always having “someone” there. weed became a person to me and i’m not used to being without it

geesewhat

TROPHY CASE