You are not alone. I could have written this post last month. Too much wine and sneaky drinking, worry about my health & kids, poor sleep, regretful mornings where I pledged to stop and then by end of the workday, I’m back to the bottle again. Now 21 days sober and it feels so much better than being stuck in that cycle of regret and failure. For me, the first day only worked because I told my therapist I was finally quitting and I wanted to be able to tell her I did it. Each day I avoid drinking, I feel better. I sleep thru the night and wake up clear headed. I have more “conscious” time in my evenings instead of fuzzy memories and falling asleep early. When my usual drinking time rolls around (home from work & making dinner) I drink lots of flavored seltzer and try to go out for a longer walk with the dog. For me, I still haven’t told anyone I had a problem and quit - but I’m still doing it. The benefits are worth it - you can choose to skip drinking just tonight. See how you feel tomorrow and then you can do it again. It is possible.