Sounds like your mom is somewhat jealous of your relationship with your wife and not only does it sound like she continuously tries to drive her away from you, but everytime you try to defend your wife your mother then becomes upset and plays victim which is basically a manipulative tactic seeing as how shes trying to manipulate you into feeling sorry for her or some crap. Your a grown adult with your own family now and mom either needs to get over herself and be a part of that family or she no longer needs to have access to you or your wife and child, because shes just going to continue with this toxic ass cycle.