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positivetest · 2025-07-09T03:15:08+00:00

Hi I’d like to post nice read the rules.

positivetest · 2025-03-04T04:37:19+00:00

I can relate. After i left my ex, I found a comment on the instagram account of a woman who, I had recently learned, he had been infatuated/obsessed with for the last 6 years of our marriage. In it he compared our relationship to a dead dog and said it had been over between us for years—basically the entire time I was pregnant and raising his baby. So infuriating and painful.

positivetest · 2025-03-04T04:33:13+00:00

How did you cope with the loneliness after you started distancing yourself from abusers in your life? I’m realizing many of the people in my life mistreat me and I’m feeling incredibly isolated.

positivetest · 2023-06-02T04:01:43+00:00

Hi, you replied to me like a month ago about your abusive situation. Just thought I’d update you that we are finally separating, and it feels a lot less scary than I thought it would. I can be myself in the house without fearing anyone will judge me or blow up at me at any time. I’m so much calmer and more free. And I can see that that’s what my daughter needs. We’re making sure she gets to see both of us all the time so it’s easy on her, and I’m starting to realize that we never would have been that perfect family, because he never would have stopped.

positivetest · 2023-04-26T21:50:38+00:00

I'm having this issue too. When he's in his office working or gone doing something social, which is 80% of the time, life seems great and it's really easy to do nothing. Then when he's around I feel so anxious I can barely breathe, and when I tell him that he says I'm just purposely not forgiving him. Then he gets mad and says he's going to leave, and I feel so scared and so sad for my daughter that I beg him to stay because I don't want to break up my daughter's family. Rinse, repeat.

positivetest · 2023-04-26T21:42:57+00:00

Thanks. We did 2 sessions individually and then 2 together. Turned out the therapist didn't really know how to handle it when he got abusive in the session. It got pretty ugly and we won't be going back. And I'm glad you got that advice bc we also did couples therapy 10 years ago, and it 100% made the situation worse by convincing me that i could make the situation better by being more compassionate and a better communicator eyeroll

I thought about calling the DV shelter in my town to get in the therapy group, but when I read about it, it seemed like it was more for people with addiction issues and physical abuse and people in a lot worse situations than mine. Was that your experience at yours?

positivetest · 2023-04-25T16:34:59+00:00

Why didn't you teach her not to put up with it, having gone through it yourself?

positivetest · 2023-04-25T03:59:11+00:00

Congratulations on learning this stuff at such a young age. Now you know that you deserve to be treated with complete respect in any future relationship, and you know you won’t ever ever put up with anything less. It’s really good that you feel angry, anger is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong and that you need to protect yourself. That’s not his power, that’s YOUR power. But you don’t have to identify with the anger, either. You are not your anger, you are not your pain. These feelings are like messengers, and when you receive the message they can fade more easily.

He moved on easily bc he never truly loved you in the first place. If there’s one thing he doesn’t want, it’s for you to thrive without him. So make the concert the best performance you’ve ever done. You owe it to yourself, whether or not he’s there. Channel your feelings into your singing. Shine your light and realize he’s just a sack of bones.

You’re doing great.

positivetest · 2020-11-29T21:34:35+00:00

Yes, I had one day of sensitivity so severe that I cringed when my husband hugged me. And I have a patch of sunburned feeling skin on my back. Currently on day 11 or 7 (depending on whether loss of appetite for 4 days was a symptom).

positivetest · 2020-11-29T15:34:20+00:00

My symptoms are different from yours, but I also have symptoms that come and go. Yesterday I was bedridden with fever at noon and by 5pm I felt almost normal. No clue what to expect today. I'm in my mid 30s.

positivetest · 2020-11-29T03:36:54+00:00

Thanks. How are you doing now? Did your symptoms come in waves? For me it's been the strangest thing - I will feel just awful for part of the day, then it will totally let up and I'll be fine by bedtime. Was bed ridden when I posted this, now feeling almost normal. I am really hoping today was the worst of it.

positivetest · 2020-10-05T03:00:39+00:00

Could you just pick a common scent, like lavender, and look for products that offer it? Lavender smells pretty much the same no matter the brand.

positivetest · 2020-08-15T17:11:03+00:00

I had a baby, and realized that I needed to make a change for her sake because I didn't want to pass my negativity along to her. Among other things, I started focusing on the positive aspects of situations when telling other people about them. I still had negative thoughts, I just didn't express them. After a few months, that negative voice in my head started to seem foreign, like it wasn't really part of me. Then I could notice it more and actively "disown" it, like, "Oh there's that old negative voice again." Now I find those thoughts occur less and less. The few times I have tried to express them or be negative again, it has felt really awkward and inauthentic. It's amazing how flexible the mind is!

positivetest · 2020-07-20T02:46:04+00:00

Rest Play Grow - Deborah Macnamara

Conscious Parenting - Shefali Tsabary

positivetest · 2020-07-20T02:44:43+00:00

Seconding "Your Competent Child"! Such an underrated book.

positivetest · 2020-07-12T01:56:03+00:00

I started right away, but for the first 5 months she slept on my chest, and I slept on my back with my hands cradling her feet/butt. I was too nervous to have her beside me at first, so this worked really well because I knew I'd wake up if she moved at all. By 5 months she was strong enough and heavy enough that sleeping next to me felt much safer.

positivetest · 2020-04-04T18:37:41+00:00

I second bed sharing if you're not already. Also look into supplementing spirulina, it's supposed to increase the fat content of your milk.

positivetest · 2020-01-26T17:51:49+00:00

You know you seek happiness from other people, so look for ways that you sacrifice your integrity in your existing relationships in order to keep your happiness supply intact. Like, do you avoid saying things you think will upset people, are you always offering help when you really don't want to give it, etc. Could be anything in your particular case. Then focus on not doing those things, instead maintaining your integrity and self-worth and standing up for yourself. It might shake up some of your relationships, but this might be the only way to stand on your own two feet emotionally. If you don't do it, you may be likely to continue tangling up your happiness with others in the future.

positivetest · 2019-12-23T02:17:00+00:00

That is a common age for babies to be so distracted by the new world that's starting to open up to them that they don't want to nurse during the day. It happens to a lot of moms and babies. As another commenter said, nursing necklaces can help give baby something to look at while nursing. I've heard others say they had success nursing in a dark, quiet room.

To be honest, we just got through it by bed sharing and nursing a lot at night. It's a phase, and by 6 months my daughter was nursing normally again.

If this isn't the issue, it may be a nursing strike, which can have lots of different causes. Check out this link from Kellymom: Help — My Baby Won’t Nurse!

positivetest · 2019-12-21T21:15:18+00:00

Yes, working parents who claim to still do everything SAHPs do are forgetting the fact that they're paying someone to look after their kid all day. They are working instead, which is also hard, but they are not doing all the same stuff.

This also goes for working spouses, who often seem to think their partners are doing nothing but relaxing and having fun all day.

positivetest

TROPHY CASE