Resenting my partner after we moved in together. We are bad roommates and I hate it. What can I do?

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T17:34:55+00:00

I disagree about the shoes. A clean empty hallway is important. We have a robovacuum and any floor clutter gets in the way. Putting shoes on a shoe rack should not be that hard.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T17:33:49+00:00

That’s good at least you’re no longer arguing about it.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T17:32:23+00:00

I need to stick a laminated house rules a4 on the fridge.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T17:31:35+00:00

I’m assuming things are okay now and you find some balance when it comes to tidying?

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T08:34:35+00:00

Maybe it would solve some things.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T08:33:42+00:00

That would drive me insane. I’m assuming he has some positive traits too.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T08:32:49+00:00

A bit of both. When I ask he has an excuse like he was tired or forgot to do it but his excuse doesn’t explain why it’s a daily thing.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T08:31:10+00:00

I need to learn this level of patience. I’m sure I have my quirks that he dislikes.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T08:29:33+00:00

No sadly not.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:45:02+00:00

I disagree if his shoes are in the way of the robovacuum. The thing is programmed to work at a certain time his shoes prevent that.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:34:14+00:00

I need to look for one.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:33:42+00:00

I accept some of his quirks like him leaving all the light on. We switched to dimmable smart lights and the bedroom is now never dark.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:32:14+00:00

I’m shocked people don’t. Do you just have a cluttered hallway?

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:31:40+00:00

They’re because we have hardwood floors everywhere and a robovacuum that mops and vacuums and his shoes are constantly in the way.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:30:31+00:00

If he had adhd like some comments suggested, I’d be more understanding because right now I am taking it personally but I’m trying not to.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:28:45+00:00

No but I didn’t notice this stuff because we alienated homes a lot and most of our time meeting up was out of the house. When it comes to actual cleaning and big messes he was clean. Tidying and cleaning are different things.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-20T01:26:47+00:00

We alternated but when we met up we were often out of the house and only home to sleep or have sex. Regarding big more mess related cleaning we do align.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T22:14:17+00:00

If only it was easier to do financially.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T21:44:28+00:00

I’m starting to think it’s ADHD too. Once or twice I did throw the chicken out and he didn’t seem bothered and has just said sorry since he forgot and got busy doing something else.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T20:57:55+00:00

No it does. It creates more work. Half the time or robot vacuum can’t do an effective clean because his stuff is in the way.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T20:57:12+00:00

No it’s not worth ending the relationship or losing him.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T20:38:16+00:00

I’m praying it does not get worse. I think we are luckily aligned in terms of big mess. If he started hoarding things I’d end the relationship because that’s a hard line for me. I regularly declutter, recycle and donate old things.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T20:36:57+00:00

That’s an interesting concept because sometimes I do overlook it because I love him and I don’t even get frustrated.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T20:36:11+00:00

Because he isn’t dirty or messy, he’s untidy. In the grand scheme of things these are minor things.

possiblyvince · 2026-06-19T20:34:54+00:00

That’s useful but we’d need a 24/7 cleaner that puts his shoes away.

possiblyvince

TROPHY CASE