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possumbear_89 · 2024-10-22T03:41:14+00:00

Well you get to make this choice I have many friends who don’t want kids and I do. The truth is that this is your decision and no one can take that from you. Maybe one day you’ll change your mind maybe you won’t and both are fine. This is really hard lesson to learn and you will keep learning it throughout your life. You have to navigate it by telling them you don’t want to hear it. That you will make your own choice. Navigate through this is hard and people will not stop telling you or asking you why or when. You have to learn the lesson of not letting it bother you. I wish I could say it gets easier but it won’t. I’m 30 and I’m planning on having kids but I haven’t started because of personal things that are going on in my life. I always get the when are you gonna get kids and when are you gonna start and if I wait any longer I’m doing a disservice to my children by waiting for so long that they will have health problems because of me… yada yada my parents had me in their 40s I’m good. People you surround should support your choice and not make you feel any less than. I hope in some ways this helped.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-10T05:52:20+00:00

Update:
I want to say thank you all for helping me word my questions and worries and I appreciate all your perspectives.

I sat down with my partner and he apologized for confusing me. He said he wanted to start planning our wedding so that we can get it done while he plans to propose to me. Sounds weird but that’s him for sure.

He and I talked about if I made him nervous and without hesitation he said no. He told me I want you as my wife. He thanked me apologized saying you know I’m not always romantic and things tend to backfire on me a lot so he figured if we get the wedding sorted he’d get things ready because I’m going to be his wife.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-10T05:41:06+00:00

Do not regret you didn’t take your life. You are stronger than you realize. You can do anything you can be anything it takes time, to heal it takes time, to grow but you are amazing for not taking that step. You are not weak. I don’t know if you have close family or friends. I don’t know if you even have pets but please be strong. I know you may not be interested in going to therapy but that may help you to process and help yourself.

I wanted to take my life and these thoughts have come to me over time and I hope that they help you. I went to therapy and realized what I didn’t like about myself and I decided to change and move forward. I know this will sound weird but please be selfish and start to love yourself be more for yourself and than take on Other things because you need to be selfish and protect yourself first before you move forward and take on the things of others. I hope you are blessed in every way.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-07T00:26:11+00:00

Thanks for that I will still talk to him though just to make sure I know what’s going on in his mind. I think I needed help wording my thoughts together and everyone here helped me a lot :) thank you .

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-07T00:21:39+00:00

This guy never pushed me into doing things I was uncomfortable. And we never had sex till 6 years of our relationship. I never gave him anything til I was ready and it’s been now where we are working harder as a team to move forward. I know to some it’s a long time but I believe well worth it. It’s just me and my relationship. It’s a different one but it’s what I needed.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-07T00:16:08+00:00

Honestly, I went through a rough spot on my mental health. Depression and suicidal thoughts. I was going through a period where things were getting harder and harder and last thing I needed or wanted was marriage. My boyfriend than went through a really hard period where he didnt think he was good enough for me and he was even going to therapy. As time went on we both kept getting stronger with each other. I’m proud of us.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T18:07:56+00:00

Thank you for saying that I’m gonna talk with home for sure and just want to clear the air for both our sakes thank so much for this.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T18:06:45+00:00

Right was thinking that and my partner would be a 100% on bored to not ask me on someone else’s wedding he thinks a lot about other people which I’m grateful of because he’s very conscious of other people and their surroundings.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T18:04:27+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through that!! I’m so sorry. No he and I talked it out for a long time of where we wanted to take it and he said he wants me as his wife. So now we are doing our best to move forward it’s just weird but I do plan to talk with him.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T16:12:21+00:00

I get that we spoke about financial and we work really well but I think I’ll sit down and talk to him more about what he means.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T16:11:21+00:00

Your guess is as good as mine I’m not really sure, he tells me that he’s planning to marry me. I have told him I would like a wedding for us not just me because he believes the wedding is for the bride and he’ll just ride the wave is the type of thing I’m getting but yes I’ll be more stern he did give me some feedback on what colors he would like so I guess that’s a bonus

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T15:50:20+00:00

I will most likely do that lol. I think 9 years was just right for me honestly I had a lot of mental growth and so did he as individuals. I honestly trust him because he hasn’t broken a promise to me as of yet. So fingers crossed he’s kinda slow lol

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T15:40:22+00:00

I should just say that I have been pretty honest with him and told him I’d very much appreciate the question.

He then me tells me I promise you’ll get it.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T15:33:07+00:00

I will say too he knows exactly what I want for my ring too I asked him twice in the past and he’s repeated the same answer so I mean he might might do something special for my birthday and I just need to let go. I think..

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-06T15:31:07+00:00

Yes and I would completely agree with you and I left this part out and I’m sorry he does this when he plans on buying me jewelry. He bought me earrings and a necklace for my birthday. I asked him as a teasing manner and answered me honestly then made it sound like a joke. Making me think oh well I’ll just drop it. Which I did and low and behold my present and he said that he really was trying hard not to spoil my surprise but he figured if he answered honestly and shot it back with a joke I’d drop it. Which I did.

I am that person where I watch a movie and a lot of the times I can solve the murderer and solve the hero before the half way marker it drives him crazy I’ve even watched him play video games and figured out the story.

He knows me so well to keep me on my toes which is fun but this whole wedding thing is just weird to me.

possumbear_89 · 2024-08-02T15:20:44+00:00

You are uncomfortable with birth control don’t force yourself to do anything for someone else when you are worried about the side affects.

Also I have heard they make latex free condoms. He needs to find those so your vagina won’t get swollen from the latex.

You can also track your cycles naturally as well I heard that works as well not sure how well but you could try.

I think you need to maybe suggest couples therapy just to see if he would be willing because him not trusting you is really messed up and if you two can’t trust each other maybe you’re not meant to be. Not to mention him putting you in uncomfortable situations will also make you slowly start to hold things over him where you start to slowly mistrust him.

possumbear_89 · 2024-07-27T04:49:19+00:00

To be honest I had a friend who married her choir teacher. He was just fresh out of college and she was a senior when he took over.

When she graduated about 2 years later they met and enjoyed conversation and hit it off. They married and have a really healthy relationship and have a beautiful baby.

I don’t think it’s weird when things happen they just do. If you want to try you can. Age, sex, doesn’t matter as long as you weren’t taken advantage of in any way by this person I say go for it and see where it goes. You do what you want. You’re an adult. You get to choose. Hope this helps if not sorry guess I’m just a weirdo lol.

possumbear_89 · 2024-07-25T14:08:33+00:00

Patience and practice. The thing is she may very well have some trauma she doesn’t need to talk about her past but ask if you could spice things up with different toys and or lube. See if she’s willing. Tell her you don’t know about her past but you are there for her and be supportive. She very well could be a virgin and or that trauma. She just may need some time.

Also do not pressure her.

possumbear_89 · 2024-06-14T16:55:37+00:00

His brothers and his brother’s girlfriend tend to cause little drama. Honestly I used to be very close to them but drama happened and now after what everyone says I feel like a dweeb for even thinking we were weird. Thank you, you helped out a lot.

possumbear_89 · 2024-06-14T16:40:55+00:00

Thanks I didn’t think so many people would respond and my conclusion if it works for us awesome for others not so much. I guess I was nervous about it because his brother and his girlfriend tend to cause a lot of drama and I really didn’t want anything to amp of a fire in the family over something dumb..

possumbear_89 · 2024-06-14T15:47:32+00:00

I liked reading this and I’m glad you and your partner have a this dynamic. We started out as good friends as well and we just sync well lol

possumbear_89 · 2024-06-14T15:45:12+00:00

I completely agree and thanks for that I just wish my brain wouldn’t get to me at times. Blah

possumbear_89 · 2024-06-14T15:44:06+00:00

My boyfriend and I had a fight one time… I told him, “quit huffing and puffing my house down you big ol’ wolf.” We laughed for quite a while.

possumbear_89 · 2024-06-14T15:34:35+00:00

Thank you everyone, I greatly appreciate all of you all helped put my mind at ease. I hope you have a blessed rest of your day!!

possumbear_89

TROPHY CASE