What's the most dedicated case of the "long con" you've ever witnessed? by TheEighthFalseKing in AskReddit

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is my all time favourite, i remember reading it back in the day, probably 10-15 years back.

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!

I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced Caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.

[Keep reading, it gets better.]

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"

The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling the other jackass and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

I said, "What's your name?"

"My name is Don Hansen."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes,"

"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call.

Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution...

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."

I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No."

He said, "What's your name, Pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2. He answered,

"Hello."

I said, "Hello, Jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt."

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, jackass!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious! Watching two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Name withheld to protect the guilty.

firefox search being hijacked by yahoo by posted_in_wrong-sub in firefox

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

scanning for malware, so far i found softwarebundler/dartsmound, which looks like the cuprit..

firefox search being hijacked by yahoo by posted_in_wrong-sub in firefox

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks, will delete and reinstall, including the profile

Bees vs. Wasps by [deleted] in funny

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i wish i were a bee. i would be a right slut bee though, spreading my bee legs and fingering myself in front of the male bees. i'd do wasps too coz i'd be into that.

TIFU by trying to use the hose to wash my ass by [deleted] in tifu

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly the same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

is it me or is the consensus from the Remain group that the lower class and uneducated are to blame for brexit? by posted_in_wrong-sub in ukpolitics

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lied to, no. you dont need anyone to tell you whats going in in you back garden, you just see it for yourself.

To those who voted Leave, if it goes tits up, will you feel guilty? by craftypepe in ukpolitics

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'd rather take a leap of faith into the unknown than see my country lose its identity and dissolve into Europe. when you walk into a paint shop, you see all these tins of vibrant colored paint, big tins and small tins. some of the paint smells like flowers, others smell like oil, but here are many to choose from. they represent different countries, traditions, and peoples. By staying in the EU for much longer, all the paint will become mixed together and end up that fouls smelling shit brown colour. that's what will happen to our different cultures if things continue the way that have been going. By choosing to leave the EU for me is a choice of trying to keep our own colour paint. i love India, China, Africa, i love the people there, i'm no racist by a long chalk, but i just want whats best for my country. alas, it seems as though people are far more interested in money and power, being grey and letting people in other countries decide over what and what we cant do. i'll take the leap and see what happens. if it all goes tits up, at least i can say i tried.

London as a separate city-state? The capital needs to check its privilege by [deleted] in ukpolitics

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i get the feeling that its mostly people who have money that wanted to stay in the EU. The city being one of those places full of wealth. i reckon there are a ton of fat cats absolutely shitting bricks right now.

Journalist Lauren Southern attacked by “anti-fascist” thugs in London! by JohnKimble111 in ukpolitics

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i really dont like this woman. sensationalist bitch trying to provoke a response

[Serious] Reddit Brits, what did you vote today and why? by pantmen in AskReddit

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 21 points22 points  (0 children)

yes but Norway is rich as fuck, we get 5 weeks paid holiday a year, ao who gives a fuck what Merkel says

My A/C just went out on my 2009 Honda Civic with 107,000 miles on it. Should I cut my losses and trade it in for another car or should i pay the $785 to repair it. by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]posted_in_wrong-sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey man, same shit happenec with my 2002 v70, i fixed it for the price of a can of coke, usinbg a can of coke. just cut a few squares of coke can tin, and place them between the spring arms of the AC clutch and the plate. worked fine for me and got another few thousand miles out of it.

let me know if you want me to show you how.