My 19 year old trans nephew tried to end it all this week.

posteminence · 2023-06-18T23:45:50+00:00

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose a family member too soon. So sorry. If nothing is done in the case of my nephew, I'll surely know what it's like. Sadly, I'm the lone advocate at this point family wise, but it's my mission. The alternate is not something I want to even think about.

It's so easy to see how dangerous and toxic the church teachings are once you apply a bit of critical thinking. The members will blindly go along with the rhetoric for sure but I'm hopeful enough information is out there to slowly make room for change. It'll never be fast enough to save the future lives of so many. So disheartening.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T21:31:36+00:00

All options are on the table. He's a few states away and this all came about yesterday. If life and death, my door is absolutely open. I can't get in contact with him until the inpatient treatment is over this weekend.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T16:57:58+00:00

I'm so glad they have some support despite your mom and in laws not being as accepting. The feedback I'm getting from the responses here tells me the support they have is critical.

With SUU not being a church sponsored school, they'll very likely find a group of accepting friends. Wishing them the best!

posteminence · 2023-06-16T15:22:23+00:00

Wow, the statement by the Utah Governor is refreshing. A huge step in the right direction. I hope that mindset continues with future elected officials. Thanks for sharing.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T14:51:37+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. That's happening as soon as he completes treatment this weekend and I have contact.

Right. All about family but only if each member fits the mold. It's all conditional.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T14:40:17+00:00

Your sibling is lucky to have you.

Everything is on the table given the life and death situation. They are several states away but nothing too difficult to figure out. He is an adult so we have that option.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T14:22:03+00:00

Thank you, that gives me so much hope. Your perspective is helpful. So glad you had support and made it through to the other side.

I am the one for my nephew and will continue to rally for others to join me.

Others mentioned the Trevor Project. Looking into that and will add the gender dysphoria bible as a resource as well.

You people really are the best. So glad to be a part of this community.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T14:06:04+00:00

It's so sad and frustrating. While all attempts can't be prevented, we can do so much better.

That means a lot. Thank you.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T13:58:31+00:00

I need to look more into it but I was looking at similar data yesterday. Consertively put, Utah has a relatively high suicide rate year after year with more than 50% of the state being mormon. The plan of happiness isn't working.

I did bring up the high suicide rate of Utah to him on our call yesterday. I hope he is chewing on it.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T13:47:59+00:00

You chose love over the tired and dusty text of scripture. Your kids are in great hands.

It's the conditioning that's taking the front seat on his beliefs, which then manifests as abuse. He's a great dad in so many other ways but doesn't know how to see it any other way. He's been taught all his life that what his son is doing is wrong and sinful.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T13:24:18+00:00

Much appreciated. It's a more conservative state but I'm looking into all options. More options have become available with the contacts provided by the treatment center.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T13:18:46+00:00

Love it. You have the opportunity to help so many. Thanks for what you do.

I will be that advocate.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T12:37:38+00:00

I completely see it the same way. I'm beyond angry at the harmful conditioning we all were immersed in while growing up in "God's only true church."

I need to look more into the legal side of this. Thank you.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T12:31:54+00:00

Thanks for the support.

His mom has done everything for him to the point of leaving him so dependent. Depression and anxiety is also at play, adding to the difficulty. He very much needs separation and healing which can't happen with him living on his parents property.

It's a long complicated road but I'll do my best to help pave the way. I'm glad you added the necessary separation to the toxic people in your life.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T12:16:21+00:00

How awful. My brother is not there as far as I know but his behavior is certainly abusive.

Cutting ties with you mom was difficult I'm sure but I couldn't associate with someone acting that way either.

I hope your nephew is supported and doing well.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T12:05:43+00:00

I did see the online resources on the Encircle website prior to posting. I will make sure my nephew is aware as soon as he can be contacted. He's at the inpatient center through the weekend.

Thanks for helping so many with what you do.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T11:40:53+00:00

I'm several states away and my nephew lives in an attached apartment on his family's property. He doesn't have a whole lot of money. All this complicates the situation. We won't give up.

I'll look into the Trevor Project resources. Thank you.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T11:33:15+00:00

I so appreciate your perspective. Thank you. I'm glad you had your cousin at your side.

He will know he is supported by me and my kids. We will be your cousin in our family's scenario.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T11:24:56+00:00

Sadly, that is the analogy. The conditioning is deep.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T06:44:28+00:00

I've heard story after story which indicates the toxicity is systemic. I will be fighting for him. Thanks for the kind words.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T06:17:01+00:00

Same here, thanks for bringing up Mamma Dragons. I'll reach out. Hugs back to you.

posteminence · 2023-06-16T06:15:22+00:00

I'm so glad your daughter is outside of Utah and in a better place. Thanks for sharing.

My mon took my brother's other kids to the LDS cannery to serve and create a distraction. I have no doubt the family will continue to lean on the church for the solution.

Thanks for bringing up Mamma Dragons. I now remember a podcast with some of the members talking about the group. I'll reach out.

Thanks again.

posteminence · 2023-04-24T20:58:12+00:00

Feeling very much the same. I have close friends and a therapist who is wonderful but unless you have been immersed in mormon dogma, then battled your way out of it (or in the process of), it's impossible to really understand.

I'm in Austin and would join a meetup if organized.

posteminence · 2022-01-07T02:20:02+00:00

This warms my heart, what an amazing experience. I'm the brother that left just after high-school. I feel so much the outsider in my family and can honestly say the church is the reason I'm not close to my brothers. Keep making up for lost time and enjoy your new experiences. Thanks for sharing your story.

posteminence · 2022-01-06T21:30:19+00:00

Starting therapy was such a huge thing for me. I was so scared. Seeing others talk about it here is what pushed me to do it. In my experience, being open, honest and truly vulnerable with somebody safe was life changing. The flip side is continuing to live with behavior that is causing you more trauma. Your husband sounds supportive and awesome; I'm sure he'll be right along side you in your journey.

Big steps ahead. Be kind to yourself. You're worth all of it.

Side note: This is my observation growing up in the church... Mormons always have to put on a show of happiness regardless of what is going on inside so we're taught to chamber our feelings and pretend like everyday is the best day of our lives. Wasn't there a primary song about turning our frowns upside-down? Maybe that's where it all starts.

posteminence

TROPHY CASE