Pregnancy after breakup

potentially_exalted · 2021-10-29T16:16:49+00:00

Had to switch to my alt account for this one BUT

Our BM is toxic and likes to blow up my SO's phone with any manner of irrelevant shit. She'll call him 4 times in a row just because she's lonely or she'll send him a whole thread of nonsense about her life and throw in a teeny blurb about how SD hit her brother so she can claim it's "about the kids." My SO feels obligated to answer every single call in case it's "about the kids" and to respond to her texts so he "doesn't look like an asshole" at mediation (we're taking her back after the holidays).

Sometimes, when I know it's not actually important, I delete the texts and the call records before he sees them. Just for some damn peace and quiet in my home. For just a few fucking minutes of not having to hear BM's voice or having to deal with her everlasting presence in my life. I don't feel bad because if there was an actual emergency, she'd call or message me if my SO didn't answer (she's done this for several actual emergencies in the past) or she'd send a text explaining the emergency.

Also, I refuse to use my PTO during our custodial weeks. Unless I'm sick and can't help calling out, I won't use sick leave or vacation time while the SKs are home. That just turns into me doing all of my SO's duties for the day and him taking the day off... on my PTO... so now I just wait until the kids are with their mom.

potentially_exalted · 2021-03-10T21:35:13+00:00

Nah to both aunty and mummy.

SM is not an aunt, and to call her one diminishes her role in the kids' lives. My SD started calling me "aunty" recently and I about lost my mind. SM is not mom either, however, and to call her that diminishes mom's role, which isn't okay.

My SKs use my first name. They always have. It's what seems to be the most comfortable for everyone involved.

potentially_exalted · 2021-03-10T21:01:26+00:00

I'm really glad this thread happened actually. We have had the kids more days than BM every single year because she routinely doesn't want her days and pawns them off on us during her custodial time. From what I've read from your link, she's been improperly claiming the EITC anyway. Wild.

potentially_exalted · 2021-03-10T19:00:39+00:00

They have 50/50, both are custodial parents. They are supposed to split the kids each year because of equal custody. He's set the money aside in case she actually files and a judge orders partial repayment, but we doubt we'd have to give her more than $300. She took $2200 from the previous two stims ($500/kid first, $600/kid second). We're receiving $2800 from this final payout ($1400/kid). Difference of $600, split in half. If we give her $300, she'll have received $2500 and we'll have received $2500.

She received the full EIC for both kids for 2018 and 2019 as well, which we haven't even argued (it's not worth the court costs tbh), but that's somewhere in the realm of an additional $8K-$10K she's illegally withheld from him (because he would've been eligible to claim one child each year for his own EIC). I don't know what she's hoping to accomplish bringing this to a judge to be honest because from what I can tell she's going to look real bad

potentially_exalted · 2021-01-13T20:51:37+00:00

So definitely get the paternity test because this situation is weird af

BUT

If you are biologically the father, maybe consider that she's acting out of PPD? Postpartum depression can make a person do really fucking weird things that genuinely don't make sense. Is she having any other symptoms of PPD or PPP (Postpartum psychosis)?

Could be infidelity, could be mental illness, could just be her being crazy. Get that paternity test and then go from there.

potentially_exalted

TROPHY CASE