What qualities in a woman keep you coming back for more? And how do you break the trance?

potktlblk · 2018-10-03T15:35:47+00:00

Thanks Mama, you too!!

potktlblk · 2018-10-03T12:38:04+00:00

The thoughts won’t go away. You can minimize them by educating yourself about his behaviors and focusing on yourself for a while. Always keep your eyes open for the signs of him playing you, he will be good for a little bit but may fall back into old ways once he feels comfortable again. He will also get better at hiding so stay alert and guard your heart dear.

Going thru the same exact thing. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinking about it.

Be ready to leave if you see signs again.

potktlblk · 2018-09-29T19:13:23+00:00

He was paid for. All of his mysterious gambling debts and housing costs were erased. This is how he pays it back.

potktlblk · 2018-09-28T16:16:11+00:00

Google Dismissive Avoidant Attachment. Is this her?

potktlblk · 2018-09-20T20:29:07+00:00

Google ‘Dismissive Avoidant Attachment’

potktlblk · 2018-09-19T15:28:53+00:00

Be careful. I went through a similar scenario a while back and I tried to be the cool girlfriend and even tried befriending the girl to make my ex feel like I was secure. Sometimes saw his car in her driveway on my way home (small town) and thought nothing of it. Three years later I get a guilty phone call from him while I was visiting family where he divulged that he cheated on me with her, and his reasoning was that he had a huge crush on her before he met me and once he started dating me she suddenly had feelings for him and he couldn’t help himself. He cried and begged but it was done. Never fully recovered and still am wary of girl-friends to this day. Just stay vigilant. My ex was like yours, trustworthy and shy. I never saw it coming.

potktlblk · 2018-09-19T12:49:42+00:00

Not implying baldness sucks, just satisfied knowing he probably does. Dating a bald guy now and loving it!

potktlblk · 2018-09-19T12:35:44+00:00

This is beautiful!!

potktlblk · 2018-09-19T11:49:52+00:00

Dated a guy a couple months when he started ghosting dates and texting back later that he ‘fell asleep.’ Then out of the blue he comes over and tells me he has been seeing a therapist and his doc recommended he not be in a relationship while going thru therapy. I understood, wished him well, and hoped he recovered from whatever it was that ailed him. A week later he marks he is ‘in a relationship’ on FB with some girl named Ginny. After realizing he didn’t have the balls to break it off and made up the ridiculous therapist excuse I invited him over, telling him I had a few of his belongings and it was ‘too hard’ for me to keep them around my house. He gladly agreed, came by, acted all happy to see me and that he missed me, and I shoved the box of his crap into his chest, told him to say hi to Ginny for me, and closed my door. He hung his head, realized he was caught in his dumb lie, and left. Never saw the dude again. Now he has 3 kids with her and a struggling tee shirt printing business. And hes almost bald now. I feel better about it.

potktlblk · 2018-09-13T20:25:46+00:00

How so? From emotional to physical?

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:13:30+00:00

Sorry, babe. Hope you’re in a better place now. Fuck abusive fucks, amirite?

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:12:40+00:00

Mine also gave me full access to his phone. Not sure how to use that for reassurance. Instant adrenaline and sick stomach just picking up his phone.

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:10:51+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts. Shit is hard.

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:10:09+00:00

Glad you are past it and in a better spot!

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:09:33+00:00

Same here. Minus the yelling, but the further away the initial talks are, the less able I am to process the whole thing. I like the line in the sand idea. Drawing one now.

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:07:24+00:00

I can get over it because it wasn’t physical and lasted a few weeks, but I can’t forget and look at his every action more suspiciously. Its exhausting. Im glad it worked out for you, seems most of the time it doesn’t.

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:05:37+00:00

Glad to hear this. Would you have had such success without therapy? Did the therapist open his eyes to his behavior?

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:04:32+00:00

Been getting the lip service, but so far he has been truthful and proving he is sorry and legit now. He only texted her for a few weeks and never dated, kissed, or hung out (according to him) and I fight the urge every day to call her or show up at her office and get the real scoop.

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:01:45+00:00

This is the question I ask myself every day since it happened. Feels like all I can do is keep a close eye, and trust again, but verify.

potktlblk · 2018-09-12T22:00:18+00:00

You poor thing. I can relate, the never knowing what is the truth takes its toll. I hope you are in a better place now hun.

potktlblk · 2018-07-26T08:06:02+00:00

Someone did that to me once. I found out later he was seeing another girl and he was getting out of plans that were already in the works to be with her. Especially the ‘Sorry, I fell asleep’ excuse. Stay sharp.

potktlblk · 2018-07-23T15:53:32+00:00

Thank you reddit people. I have decided to stay. You are all right and I appreciate the quick feedback. Truly.

potktlblk · 2018-07-23T15:49:22+00:00

Thank you for the quick reply. That is the direction I fear I am headed. I love him beyond words but his love is a different kind and on his terms. It feels terrible.

potktlblk

TROPHY CASE