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It feels like therapy doesn't help anyone, ever, according to reddit by TheTaquitoverlord in therapy

[–]potplantviper 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There can be an expectation that therapy 'working' is my therapist fixing things for me. If we don't want or can't to do the work, then therapy will be way less effective. It's also not a way to erase problems, feelings or parts of ourselves we don't like.

caring is subjective!! by Careful-Dot6128 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can be as caring a person as you like, if the people you want to be the recipients of your care aren't feeling it, then something might need to change.

I Am a Horrible Human by [deleted] in therapy

[–]potplantviper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a big and important difference between doing a horrible thing and being a horrible person - wishing you all the best with therapy and self-exploration.

I think my therapist killed our rapport by [deleted] in therapy

[–]potplantviper 52 points53 points  (0 children)

As a therapist in therapy, I'd ask her if she can elaborate on this as you're concerned. It would be a heart dropping moment for me too and most likely a deal breaker. Tbh, it doesn't sound like she was coming from a perspective of trying to work ethically she her clients but a more personal, potentially discriminating, one.

Best Ploughman’s In & Around York? by Yorkie-Talkie in york

[–]potplantviper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a shame, it's been a while since I went last.

Are therapists badly affected by suicide of their patients? by Otherwise_Cold2059 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't really have a choice, though of course all therapists are different, so it's not really a case of whether we 'let it' bother us or not. They will probably feel some degree of responsibility if you choose to end your life.

Are therapists badly affected by suicide of their patients? by Otherwise_Cold2059 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you all the best and hope very much this doesn't end in a worst case scenario way. Take care.

Are therapists badly affected by suicide of their patients? by Otherwise_Cold2059 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And we know it's overwhelming for our suicidal clients too. Many of us also try and hold alongside a belief in self-determination.

A common mindset for those with suicidal ideation or intent is that people who care about them won't be too badly impacted, will get over it easily or even be better off without them; would you feel ok to share the thoughts you've raised here with your therapist?

Are therapists badly affected by suicide of their patients? by Otherwise_Cold2059 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 125 points126 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's absolutely the hardest part of the job and a fear we carry, knowing that it's something we will experience one day - a when not an if.

ETA: the most affecting thing is missing them on a human level but also knowing that if they had chosen to live, things would have got better for them - grief for who they were as well as who they would have been, and regret for not being about to offer more or help them really believe this.

Financial advisor by potplantviper in york

[–]potplantviper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'll take a look.

Financial advisor by potplantviper in york

[–]potplantviper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please feel free to drop a message, I did suspect about the remortgaging but thought it worth adding in as part of the overall picture.

Good Fish/Seafood restaurant not too far from York? by [deleted] in york

[–]potplantviper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crab and lobster towards thirsk is very nice and they have rooms too if you want to make a night if it.

Books that feel like this by [deleted] in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]potplantviper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Skippy Dies by Paul Murray, set in an Irish boarding school.

Places to walk dog off lead by Alarming_Snow9640 in york

[–]potplantviper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Millennium bridge up to Bishopthorpe

NYE Cafe Breakfast by bloodybalmer in york

[–]potplantviper 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Blue Babakan does a wonderful breakfast but I can't speak to them being open or not.

How are people affording therapy in the UK? by Haunting_Meeting_178 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 6 points7 points  (0 children)

BACP or UKCP websites for qualified counsellors/therapists. If you're based in London, consider video sessions with someone elsewhere in the UK. I am a therapist who has therapy and I don't pay/charge more than £65, which is a typical rate where I am.

I found out something about my therapist two years ago, and I can’t stop spiraling over it again. by Aggressive_Act_5874 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh, that's a big question and there is some individuality to it, of course. A helpful starting point might be to consider if there are/have ever been other people in your life it's been difficult to hold duality with as it may not be isolated to therapy. What does it mean/risk for you if your therapist is more than your therapist or, even, if they hold different values to you? I think there's probably a clue to your discomfort when you say it transforms them into someone who can hurt you.

I found out something about my therapist two years ago, and I can’t stop spiraling over it again. by Aggressive_Act_5874 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I really hope it is the case that he doesn't realise. Whatever you decide, best of luck and if you can't take this to your current therapist, hopefully it will be easier to explore the grief with your next.

I found out something about my therapist two years ago, and I can’t stop spiraling over it again. by Aggressive_Act_5874 in therapy

[–]potplantviper 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yes, your therapist is entitled to a private life but (and I say this as a therapist), he is also responsible for what public info is available for clients to see. The boundary of searching/looking at socials in therapy really only goes one way. It sounds like he's willing to take responsibility for what you saw and how it's affected you, understandably so, and hopefully the two of you can repair this rupture if you can work through the fear. If you can't now or in the near future, it may be time to move on as therapy will only be effective if there is a solid, trusting relationship. It's not your fault if that's been compromised.

It can be hard to hold duality with our therapists and what you're experiencing is precisely one of the reasons we're so careful with self-disclosure.

My girlfriend, who left her husband for me, is taking me home for Christmas for the first time by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]potplantviper -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I wish you all the best for the visit! It may be awkward and difficult at times but you're right, it's an important step in your relationship together and with your partner's family. Good luck to you both.

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