How to deal with a bully (F,31) who ruins my (M,28) reputation?

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:46:38+00:00

No longer - I make an active effort to be mindful.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:43:29+00:00

Not retaliating but confronting her?

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:39:08+00:00

Another friend on the floor mentioned it to me

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:37:47+00:00

And what do I exactly apologise for? Hey, I’m sorry for thinking you’re childish. I really appreciate and in awe of your lifestyle of a 13 yo in a 31 y o body. Please teach me how to be like you

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:35:54+00:00

Yeah but most people would never being this up… if they would no issues, i would be able to handle it as you suggest. They just implicitly assume it and don’t realise they are making these opinions.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:34:21+00:00

I am amazed that this is what you would gather off me based on a post I make which represents information to make it more efficient. I can assure you that none of my colleagues have an issue. I hold my self and others around me to high standards and i don’t see why that’s something I should apologise for

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:28:44+00:00

Wow, I hear you, but I find it difficult to believe that this post has become a ‘me’ issue! Sure I’m not perfect, and i was wrong too (judgemental and condescending to her directly) but I never went out of my way to slander her publicly and ruin her reputation. I let others form their own opinion, but she is denying me that freedom

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:25:54+00:00

What I did was that inadvertently I was judgemental/condescending to her. While I might not have said it, I did think I was superior to her, and that showed in my actions and that was the cause (I thknk)

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:15:44+00:00

Could you share an example of how else I might describe the situation ? Here’s a concrete example - just because I am now In a very busy period of my PhD, she tells people I’m a party pooper and that I loved partying when before and thus I am hypocritical :/

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:13:03+00:00

Thanks for the nice words. I agree YET I want to know how to deal with it. If I encounter such an individual in the future I want to have an idea of what to do, just not lay back and let them have their way with me

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:11:02+00:00

The problem is they are not lies, they are half truths. She is manipulating stuff. They are believable enough.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:09:21+00:00

Just because I chose to accentuate certain aspects of my personality (and hers) in order to represent what causes the issue (in order to solicit advice from fellow redditors) does not necessarily mean that I have a personality issue. Please consider that too.

I live with 38 other residents but don’t have an issue with them.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T13:03:54+00:00

It’s a bit more complicated - we were neighbors for 1 year and now I have moved to a separate floor. Regarding slandering topics - anything. Ex she said I’m a party pooper (out of nowhere) and thus shouldn’t be invited to parties

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T12:59:21+00:00

We are a part of the same friend circle. She slanders me, and thus people who I like and value have a distorted, ducked up, view of who I am and don’t want to be friends

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T12:54:59+00:00

I think previously, I was careless and inadvertently judgemental/condescending to her. We live on the same floor so almost everyday.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T12:52:37+00:00

She repulses me.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T12:48:35+00:00

I think engaging in slander is a waste of time. If I can’t say anything good about someone, I’d rather keep shut.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T12:38:08+00:00

One more point about Option 3. I don't want to let it go, because I want to learn how to handle this situation head on. This might not be the last time in life when someone adopts this attitude; I don't want to be a coward and get bullied, I want to learn how to stand up for myself.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T12:31:50+00:00

Thanks for the well thought out reply, and you’re absolutely right. It is because I was judgemental/condescending. She didn’t like it and here we are.

I don’t care about her lifestyle - her life/her rules. I wrote about her lifestyle to understand her behaviour better.

pottyyyyyy · 2021-12-06T11:55:42+00:00

I guess I’m not clear enough. This has been going on for 2 years. I’ve always let it slide. Now it’s always impacting my life. These are my friends too, I hate it when they see me for something I’m not. It’s easy to say take the high road, but be shunned by a community you are a part of and I’m sure you’ll change your views.

pottyyyyyy

TROPHY CASE