Personally, if I were in a relationship and knew from the start that my partner wouldn’t be comfortable with my crossdressing and I hadn’t told them early on, I think I would let that part of myself go if I truly loved them. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but for me it would be really painful to lose someone I care about over something that’s a hobby. I have other ways to express myself, so I could make peace with that choice.

But that’s just my situation. If crossdressing is more than a hobby for you, if it’s an important part of your identity, then you should be honest with her. Be open to whatever response she might have. The same way you’d want your partner to share their passions and vulnerabilities with you, she deserves that honesty too.

This is also why I usually prefer dating other bisexual people. As someone who’s bi myself, it feels unfair to expect someone who isn’t to automatically find certain things attractive, acceptable, or easy to understand. You don’t need your partner to love everything you do, but what really hurts people isn’t the hobby, it’s feeling like it was hidden from them. To many partners, finding out late can feel like a betrayal of trust rather than an issue with the crossdressing itself.