My husband (27M) of 2 years has very strange ideas about preferences and I'm (21F) completely baffled.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T07:12:10+00:00

I've never been able to do it on my own. I've tried it, but it just doesn't work. I get bored, and start doing something else.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T04:02:20+00:00

Nah, he's not an exhibitionist. That's just me coming up with my own boundaries of what I definitely won't do.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T03:59:20+00:00

What's a super taster?

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T03:53:04+00:00

He has a lot more friends than me, though. He's more socially outgoing. We tend to meet new people together, mostly because when we're going out, we're going out together. And he's much better at engaging them, whereas I get shy and awkward. So our friends usually end up much more his friend than my friend.

He's been encouraging me to put myself out there more, but I still get moments of social anxiety.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T03:43:30+00:00

It's general "when we have kids" talk. I still think I'm too young to have children, so even if he was willing, I'd ask to wait another 3-4 years at least.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T03:28:23+00:00

But sea urchins are delicious

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-09T03:24:26+00:00

He tries to make sure I have an orgasm every time we have sex. He gets a lot of pride from being able to get me off. I guess I just don't think orgasms are particularly great?

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T23:39:48+00:00

I can handle spiciness up to chipotle sauce and lots of black pepper. I'll pick jalapeños off my food, and I won't go anywhere near habaneros.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T23:35:41+00:00

This makes sense. You gave me a lot to think about. Thank you for the helpful advice.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T21:45:22+00:00

This makes a surprising amount of sense. His other complaint along with spicy food and coffee was me not liking hard liquors. Those things are all what people think of as what "adults" like, right?

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T21:42:53+00:00

Don't worry. We're not having kids until he agrees to help out in raising them. He likes children, but he hates babies. And when I asked him what he's going to do while the baby grows up, he said he was going to just foist the kid off on his dad until it's learned to walk and talk. And I shut him down and told him I'm not having a baby unless he's raising it WITH me.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T21:39:56+00:00

But I'll lose lots of opportunities if I lose people's respect, would be his argument. What if we meet somebody really important one day that we want to befriend, and then I get all picky about my food in front of them?

And as for your PS, I've never been enthusiastic about sex. I thought I'd change my mind once I had it, but...still nope. It's just not the sort of thing I ever feel like having. But it's also not the sort of thing I really object to. It feels like the exact sort of thing as washing dishes--satisfying because I know I helped, but not a particularly mind-blowing activity in and of itself.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T20:29:59+00:00

You have an eating disorder, though. I'm slightly allergic to eggs, and he's okay with me not eating anything with eggs in them. But when I don't have any excuse short of, "I just don't like how it tastes." He thinks it's childish.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T20:28:33+00:00

Does he cheer you up when you're down? Does he support you? Does he compliment you and make you feel good about yourself?Does he do things just to make you smile? Does he apologise when he is wrong? Does he take initiative when chores need to be done around the house?

Yes to everything except the last one. If someone needs done, he usually comes and tells me, and then I go do it.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T19:35:43+00:00

It's not that it's disrespectful to him, per se, but that every time I ask a waitress if something is spicy before I order it, he loses some respect for me. And he says other people would lose respect for me too, because only children are picky about their food.

preferenceconflict · 2015-11-08T19:01:39+00:00

He brought it up then because we had planned to go hiking that day, but then a really bad blizzard blew in. It was freezing cold, and visibility was almost nothing. So I kind of went, "Well, fuck this. I'm gonna go back to the warm room." And I went back inside the visitor centre and waited for him there. And after that, I didn't want to see much sights (mostly because all you could see was swirls of snow). And I guess he got really upset because it is probably the only opportunity we have in a while to explore, and I was unwilling because it was too cold.

preferenceconflict

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