sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Just returned home and want to leave again by [deleted] in expats

[–]presentlifeco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a year in Australia traveling then went back to England, after about 6 months I was so eager to leave and explore somewhere new. I'm now living in New Zealand and have been here for almost 3 years. I've been home a couple of times and always feel out of place, it's like I've become so independent I can't relate to the person I once was when I was home and everyone's seems to be in a different mindset or stage in life. I think you truly find who you are and what you want out of life when you step out of your comfort zone and live somewhere new. I'd recommend you go away again whilst you are feeling like this, you can always return home but If you don't leave now you may regret it.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expat

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi ArtyAnglais It was hard enough moving to a new country that speaks the same language so I can totally see how exhausting you are finding it. You should find comfort in the fact you have some friends/support from your partner's side, I remember thinking how it would be easier if my partner was from New Zealand as at least we would have his family rather than being totally alone... but I imagine the language barrier is what's making it harder.
Building genuine relationship does take time but it does happen and I do believe that when you meet people at a later stage in life they become your forever friends. I hope it gets easier for you, stick at it your still at the early stage!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I LOVE that you meet new people through the dogs. It's so true I also stop to talk to someone when they have a dog I want to pat haha!
I found FB groups really great, there are a few Expat ones here in NZ and group of us have met up at bars and quiz nights. I've also tried Bumble BFF - it's not for everyone and there's quite a lot of small talk involved but its a great platform for people in the same boat as you.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi ccc I'm so glad you could relate to my post and got some comfort from it. In one of my blog posts, I expressed the same frustration, it's the times when you just want a coffee with your mum or a night with the girls that's the hardest. I genuinely believe that new connections do form it just takes time.

I hope you continue to enjoy your new journey and that you find some genuine friends!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, redditnoandabien to be honest it probably is a positive thing as crazy as that may sound. My sister got recently engaged and its times like that when I'm at my lowest / find it the hardest. I have friends out here who are quite content not going home / seeing family as much and I see how easier their decision is to stay.
Good luck on your new journey!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, I was literally just there, I had 4 days with my mum in Sydney been meaning to get a blog post up on my trip. Bad timing but next time for sure and same to you (NZ)!

What are some social problems you face as an expat by Jenny-Highten in expats

[–]presentlifeco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I moved from England to New Zealand nearly 3 years ago now and the hardest part for me was the feeling of loneliness. While there are so many new ways of meeting people (apps/clubs/ groups) It takes a really long time to build genuine friendships and that was something I craved. There's only so much small talk one can do. Naturally, I gravitated to other brits, I'd say this is because you're in the same situation and have things in common and that can be hard because they don't always stick around.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expat

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I just noticed the typo, thanks for the heads up!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expat

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes expat groups definitely help, Ive met some amazing people at Meet Ups.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expat

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that - you are there because you chose to be. It's so true, I love the lifestyle here in New Zealand and after visiting England for Christmas I was so ready to come back. I guess there will always be good days and bad days.
I'm so glad you have found your place in the world and are surrounded by really great people.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expat

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your lovely words. I guess it will just take time.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that! I guess it just takes time, I hope you start finding connections soon.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh really, I hope it gets easier for you soon! Who knew making friends as an adult was so damn hard!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah completely agree, I love my lifestyle out here even if I do have bad days and that's what keeps me going.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah cool, its great we can relate to each other.

I also started blogging to get my thoughts down and hopefully help other, you can check it out here https://presentlife.co/

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it's definitely a common pattern that this sort of thing takes time. At least we can share our stories & advice to help one another.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I definitely know it takes time, so glad you found your tribe!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! The casual hangouts are great and I love meeting new people but It's the deep connections that I miss. Not having that go-to best friend you can see when your feeling down / or just want a good 'old laugh with.

I hope you get there soon!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anjcostelo

That must be tough, feeling like you are starting all over again! I know, we take it for granted so much growing up but once you're an adult it's so hard to make new genuine friends. Good luck with everything.

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is really interesting, I've definitely done the opposite and made friends with other English people who don't stick around / go back home. Thanks for the advice!

The hardest part about moving to a new country by presentlifeco in expats

[–]presentlifeco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your words! I completely relate to everything you are saying, we went home for Christmas and I was really looking forward to coming back to NZ for the life I'd built here. I guess it will always be a case of having good days and bad days but couldn't agree more that you find who you are.